Everyone has their own take on the issue. Let's try to avoid as much confrontation as possible. I don't want to be ranting about this thread on another forum next. 
Rant about another forum!!!
- Thread starter spicypumpkin
- Start date
This makes no sense.
In one statement you say fat should be made fun of then the next you say obesity is a disease......
They should be made fun of because obesity is a disease, and until they feel guilty enough to change their lifestyle they should be picked on.
Sitting there being nice to them will not make them healthier or thinner, i am ****ing happy i got picked on because if it wasn't for them i wouldn't feel so great and healthy today.
Tough love.
Nothing. He doesn't go see his doctor afaik. And he wouldn't listen anyway.
His BMI is 33, so he is technically obese. And he's appleshaped, most of it is situated on the gut, so that's even worse.
He's probably around the same health risk as smoking.
I second that.
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Phate - I'm proud of you for losing weight. Maybe being humiliated made you feel bad enough to change - that's fine that it worked for you. However, that is an incredibly destructive thing to believe that it is ok to shell out "tough love" to overweight/obese people, thinking it will spawn change.
Many eating disorders are triggered by that type of behavior - and even suicides. Being picked on for anything very very rarely results in anything positive.
I don't think making fun helps much at all. Positive change is the best. Being picked on only makes you feel bad. If that worked for you, then that's great, but I think for a lot of people, it doesn't.
Now a question: What is the best way to tell someone that they need to change their habits to lose weight? I ask this because one of my family members wants to lose weight but won't make any significant lifestyle change.
Now a question: What is the best way to tell someone that they need to change their habits to lose weight? I ask this because one of my family members wants to lose weight but won't make any significant lifestyle change.
You don't.
If this person asks you directly what they should do - then tell them. Stay as positive as possible. Instead of saying "You need to quit eating fast food and junk and quit laying around on the couch" - say something like "Eating healthy foods and adding exercise into your life will really help." ----The difference being, that one statement focused on the negative things they are doing, and the other focused on the positive things they could be doing (without embarrassing them about their bad behaviors).
I just try to present it to them like a tool. Here's what works for me, if you learn this and do it like this you'll lose 1lb of fat each week. People like tools.
Weight loss is at it's most basic from pretty uncomplicated. You have to burn more calories than you eat. It's like running a business, or your personal budget, if you spend more than you make, your savings get depleted. There are no magical tricks to it, it's just a matter of plusses and minusses. And as everyone knows in business and with our personal economy, if you don't keep a budget and stick to it, the economy gets screwed.
It is just like that with calories eaten and burned. You should make a budget. If you burn more than you eat, you lose weight. If you eat more than you burn, you gain weight. If you create a 500 kcal deficit a day, you'll lose 1lb of fat each week.
That takes lifestyle changes. Ignoring the influence of what you eat is like saying your spending habits don't affect your bank account.
That's how I try to explain it.
The problem is they want the fat loss, but they don't want it badly enough to do something about it, just won't get any results.
At some point, you have to get in with the sting imo. The positive encouragement works for explaining it to them and getting it open for the ideas. After that, they need to realize if they keep on doing what they've been doing, they're going to keep on getting what they've been getting. If they don't want to anything about it, they don't really want to lose weight. It's like a smoker saying they don't want lung cancer, but don't want to quit smoking.
There are people like my dad who refuse to acknowledge the problem, there are people who say they want to lose weight but refuse to acknowledge they have to make lifestyle changes, and a guy I work with I even got to weigh all his stuff and keep track of his calories and understand this stuff, but he's not sticking to it and so not losing weight. It's just incredibly hard to get people to change their habits. I think we're up against instincts evolved for us to survive starvation.
Everyone has their own take on the issue. Let's try to avoid as much confrontation as possible. I don't want to be ranting about this thread on another forum next.
SP, I think there's something you need to know about me...when I see this kind of disposition towards anything, all it does is piss me off. Being a nice nazi and tiptoeing around things isn't going to help you understand anything better. There's nothing wrong with confrontation. If anything it will help you learn more about the other person, it will help you learn about yourself, and will help me learn more about you.
Anyway, I recently went to my obese friend with the sole question of "what do you know about powerlifting?" I approached HIM. THe problem with a lot of people is, they simply don't know where to start/are waiting for something to happen to them first. This is a guy who's life is completely sedentary, whom I've never discussed health or lifestyle issues with, whom is my best friend, but is someone I chose not to address problems with for whatever reason. The question was set up and followed through rather nicely, in terms of not offending and offering multiple points of convorsation direction and whatnot.
Still, the thing about helping others is...to be most effective, they have to come to you. People take for granted things that are offered freely, regardless of quality. I simply offered my friend an invitation. Choosing to accept was of his own accord.
set a liposuction appointment, use a date rape drug and getter done!!! they'll thank you in the morning....
ahhahahahahaa
if i came across a forum that spewed hatred toward fat/thin people, ugly/attractive people, short/tall people, blonds/brunettes, i'd probably stop wasting my time responding, at least on those negative threads.
don't get me wrong, i can understand your frustration if you are actually trying to have a conversation with these people and voice your opinion but i'd say that you were in a no-win situation. those so-called obese women obviously don't want to hear from a woman who is a size 2 and who is telling them that they actually aren't happy with their bodies. on the other hand, maybe you are exactly the type of person they want to respond and they are using you to fuel the fire and further validate their feelings. and honestly, it seems to be having a slightly negative effect on you as you seem a bit defensive about your own weight/size for no reason, at least on this forum. there are a lot of size 2's in the world and people who are even smaller than you, particularly women who aren't yet in their 20's. no one seems to be judging you here but you seem to repeatedely go the extra step of explaining that you are a "size 2" and "happy." anyway, if you are happy, which you have said that you are, then forgot those b*tch@s and leave that hateration behind.
don't get me wrong, i can understand your frustration if you are actually trying to have a conversation with these people and voice your opinion but i'd say that you were in a no-win situation. those so-called obese women obviously don't want to hear from a woman who is a size 2 and who is telling them that they actually aren't happy with their bodies. on the other hand, maybe you are exactly the type of person they want to respond and they are using you to fuel the fire and further validate their feelings. and honestly, it seems to be having a slightly negative effect on you as you seem a bit defensive about your own weight/size for no reason, at least on this forum. there are a lot of size 2's in the world and people who are even smaller than you, particularly women who aren't yet in their 20's. no one seems to be judging you here but you seem to repeatedely go the extra step of explaining that you are a "size 2" and "happy." anyway, if you are happy, which you have said that you are, then forgot those b*tch@s and leave that hateration behind.
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and that concludes today's comments from our friendly neighborhood psychopath, FlyinFree. Now back to you, Bob...
and that concludes today's comments from our friendly neighborhood psychopath, FlyinFree. Now back to you, Bob...
lol, that's funny. I agree with Lei...confrontation can be a good thing. I do think a lot of folks need to get thicker skin. One of my favorite forums is bodyrecomp.com. They prob hate and flame at others more than any other forum out there. But...
it's expected
and you get respect from doing it
However, I guess in that instance there's a mutual understanding that you will be hated on and expect to give some hate back. It's like one big happy disfunctional family.
IMO if the person wants it bad enough he or she will do what it takes. If they don't, they won't, regardless of what someone tells or suggests to them.
That's right for a lot of people, but I still think that some people want change, but don't know how to go about, don't like to ask about it or is embarassed about their situation, maybe don't even know how simple it is to lose weight (not to be confused with easy, it takes lots of effort), and so never get around to it.
Others might hear about the "tools" for weight loss, get inspired by it, it may take some time for the idea to settle, but for some the idea may grow and eventually become wanting it bad enough.