Petals diary

Thank you LaMa .
Son is a little better day by day . Still very upset but getting on with all he has to do. We went out last night and dropped him to college . We were supposed to have dinner but time ran away on us . I was starving coming home and we stopped and I got a chicken sandwich in Burger King . Wasn't the healthiest but I did not have fries etc . And I had a good day other than that .

Today I am back in form . Did my workout, ate exceptionally well , first time in weeks I feel really motivated . Hope now I can keep that motivation going , feel happy this eve .
 
Can't believe I didn't check in yesterday. Day must have flown by . Been busy with work and school runs and god knows what else .
 
Between being busy and bad internet I'm sorry I'm not getting g here too often.
This morning I cleaned my kitchen utility family room . I have not had time to eat since breakfast so going to have a nice lunch now .

Met some friends last night . Was a nice evening . We didn't eat but had a glass of wine .

I'm really putting in effort now with my diet though . I have caught a glimpse of myself recently in a window next to friends and you know I really am bigger looking than I actually feel . Does that make sense ?
So keeping up the healthy eating and slowly back to exercise . That sickness really affected me more than I thought.

I think though I am probably going to have to try something a little harder like the intermittent fasting but will for now carry on as I am . Reading your diary Marsia I admire you so much because I'm not sure I would have the will to give up my fruits . Think for me tracking my calories is the best it's just that I'm not back at it yet
 
When I was big I never really saw myself as big as I was. Looking back at the few photos I had of me at the time I still get a shock.
You'll get back into it, Petal. Meanwhile just keep getting better & making small positive changes, xo
 
Hi Petal! I know the feeling of feeling smaller than I actually am. I feel so happy to fit into smaller clothes, but they are still quite large. I decided to try the low carb diet because I am so tired of slooooowly losing weight and then gaining it back quickly again. So I wanted something where I won't crave things that make me gain weight. So far it seems to be working, but I discovered last week that if I cheat and eat a few things high in carbs, that I gain weight back extremely quickly. Not sure how I am feeling about that, but for now, just sticking with this because it seems to work.

I would not lose weight at this point without counting calories. I am forever grateful to Cate for telling me to do this!!!
 
I know how you feel regarding suddenly seeing yourself. D asked me to sort through the pictures on her phone because she wants to make a calendar for S... Dear me it's hard to look at those pictures! Having a ton of them helps though, because they aren't all horrible. There was one in which I basically look like a Valkyrie, but as played by an old-fashioned opera singer :D I did not pick that one...
 
LaMaria said:
I know how you feel regarding suddenly seeing yourself. D asked me to sort through the pictures on her phone because she wants to make a calendar for S... Dear me it's hard to look at those pictures! Having a ton of them helps though, because they aren't all horrible. There was one in which I basically look like a Valkyrie, but as played by an old-fashioned opera singer :D I did not pick that one...
Click to expand...
My friend took a nice family portrait of us that is probably the only one I would let anyone take in ages. I know what you mean, opera singer in the horned Viking helmet, especially because I was sitting down, so the pear shape is prominent. It does inspire me to keep losing though!
 
Petal, is there a comfort food for you that is really good for you? I have been emotional eating some lately, but I make myself pick healthier things and only measured amounts, like guacamole is very comforting for me, and I eat it with cucumber sticks. I make sure the amount of avacado is good, and let myself eat all of it and then just do a big salad for the next meal. I figure I can allow myself to keep emotionally eating if I am processing at least some of the anxiety I have been feeling lately. I go through periods where I just let go of a lot of social anxiety at random times, and it makes it so I can be braver next time, plus I don't carry all that stress around. It's kind of an emotional detox, but it can be a bit much at times.

Anyway, thinking of you and hope you know that we all support you!!!!
 
Good morning all . I think I need to not have food at all for an emotional crutch . Yesterday I just had my 3 meals . I had a small little snack box of apples chopped up with 2 grapes in the afternoon . Made a roast pork for dinner .
When studying last night I did have tea and 2 squares of dark chocolate . That was nice . It's amazing how a couple of days clean eating helps .
 
Ate well enough again today and went for a walk . Getting there , back in the saddle !
 
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