Online dating sites

YUCK

Bars: Meet your next alcoholic bar star whether it be man or woman. But hey if it's the life you want, go for it.



Internet Dating: not intentionally looking for a prolonged legit dating relationship, rude, and only wanting sex. Too many problems with themselves personally either unaware or don't care and need to fill their void.

Why Not meet someone in a hobby? I understand people are busy, but I would rather meet someone that has the same interests and values and beliefs that I do with the same respect for their lives. Than to find someone while their using/doing their vice. Join a social group, and not through the net.

Most people on the net have issues with shyness. Not that that is anything bad, but they usually have self-confidence issues, ect. To me that is not a person ready for "dating". I, myself am not ready to date because of "issues." It only leads to bigger problems down the line.

Tangent. Ew.
 
well definitley not shy...but i'm sure i have more issues than you could shake a cat at LOL...though no idea why anyone would want to actually y'know...shake a cat...where do these blummin sayings some from...??!

anyhoo.....

yes i'll admit it...i did meet someone from match.com...

he was a TOTAL PHONEY!!!

but guess what?? I MARRIED HIM!!!!
i know right???!! :willy_nilly::willy_nilly:

but he kind of hid it for a while...well...until after the wedding anyway (marriage only lasted 7 mths....married & had our son by the end of the next yr......started divorce proceedings him a yr after that...)

after he'd GOT me...y'know wedded & bedded...(ok other way around :smilielol5:)

he started to seem quite different...he even dressed differently...very weird...
& it turned out that before he'd even made contact with me on match.com he'd 'researched me' what i liked/didn't like etc from my profile...then he basically made out he was the guy i was looking for...when HE WASN'T AT ALL!!!

funny thing is (well not funny hahaha) it had all been a bit of a joke it was yrs ago...10 in fact...way back when there wasn't much on the internet!! LOL & me & some friends just put our profiles on for the sake of it...don't think we even had to pay anything to do it...i certainly wasn't looking to get wed again...i'd just divorced hubbie no.2 the yr before...what can i say??! i'm just a girl who can't say NO...
apparently...hahaha

see issues flying all over the bleedin place!!! i seem to go for dark haired types too that look a bit like how my dad did when he was younger ICKICKICK...& i have never got along with either of my parents...say no more...



but to OP....just get out there & mingle!!!
voluntary work/classes/coffee bars...look interesting...read a book!! LOL/just SMILE & look at ease with yourself...& no i don't mean have a big manic :D on your face...that might put off the little ladies...but when the time is right...someone wonderful will come into your life....i believe that for you....& for me too...for all of us god dammit...b/c we are all sooooo flippin well worth it!!!! :)
 
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btw...

i didn't divorce no.3 b/c it turned out he'd pretended to be into all the same music/books/movies etc as me ...the fact that he'd lied about all that 'small stuff' just made me think what an idiot i'd been...tbh at that stage i also thought well...i've made my bed so i'll just have to lie in it (or again in my case :)) as the old saying goes...

but it wasn't long before i found out that he had a very unpleasant side to his nature too & that pretending to be someone he wasn't...didn't just cover the small stuff after all...but won't go into that here as not very nice at all.

but y'know i do know a few other ppl who are in very happy r/ships with ppl they've met online...so you just never know!! & anyway isn't that really the way wherever you meet anybody??!

of course the thing about internet r/ships though is they can develop pretty fast/lots of contact...chat/messenging/pm's etc/so things can seem quite intense...its easier to open up & reveal personal stuff about ourselves behind our computer screens & so you can feel you know each other very well very quickly...which can be true...but throw in the possiblity that someone might be faking it a bit (or alot...) & that we can all be our "best" selves online...& its not hard to see why online dating/getting to know ppl can have its own unique set of difficulties too.
 
Its a good way to get an INTRODUCTION. In daily life we cant just walk up to people that we see and ask for a date. Online that's possible and I see nothing wrong with greatly expanding your pool of people you come into contact with. But baglady nailed it on the head. Do NOT make the mistake of chatting too much and getting into a "relationship" online. Matching sites should be used STRICTLY to make an introduction. The rest should be done in person. AT A PUBLIC AND VERY SAFE PLACE. But really, you may think you're developing some "chemistry" before you meet cuz you like a few of the person's BEST photos (from 10 years ago) and they seem so nice since they are ALWAYS witty and in a great mood when online. Or they really could be hot, but you 2 just have no chemistry. That's why the in-person meeting must occur as quickly as possible. Dont waste time fantasizing about a person that doesn't exist. Meet the real person and see if there's anything there or not, if not then move on quickly.
 
Curvie Girlie said:
That's pretty cool advice.

I'm probably what you'd call a New-Agey-hippie type so this might not come as a surprise, but I'd say
1. Work on your own happiness, alone and out of relationship
2. Elevate your skills in whatever arena you enjoy most
3. Focus on family and friendship relationship dynamics
4. Love yourself dearly, even if it takes you getting off your butt and doing charity work
5. Focus on fitness and body/mind/soul connection
6. Put loads of positivity and love into the universe

Hmm, if you do all that, I guarantee that an awesome individual will fall into your lap once you forget to look/pine for it :D
Click to expand...

This is good advice in general. However, I know people who "stopped looking" and they're still single and with NO BABY at age 40, despite wanting one. I personally believe in being proactive about what we want. I believe it is a DEEP PRIMAL URGE to want to feel the love of another person, and that goes double for women and the hormones that cause much of these primal desires. So this stuff about loving yourself being enough is BS IMHO. We can love ourselves til we're blue in the face but we're all lying if we say we dont want someone in our life (even if just temporarily, like many young men who are constantly out on the prowl). We can PRETEND that we dont want someone and yes, they may help in attracting someone to us with that attitude, but I find its a lonely existence without someone in our life (especially if one doesn't have children)..
 
blancita...

hahaha....
yes thats it as an introduction only!! thats were i went wrong!!

although.......
once ppl get a bit of an insight into your life they can use that to be how you want them to be (or rather how they think you want them to be...) i had mentioned liking a certain poem for instance so he used to send me poems (i'm not into poetry THAT much...LOL) but it did make me think MISTAKENLY that he was a sensitive type...

first impressions count A LOT even online & it can be very hard to shake off how you first thought someone was/appeared to be...even so its not all doom & gloom & i would hate to put anyone off finding a potential soul mate (yes even after 3 divorces...i still believe in them!!) or a really good long term friend online b/c of something i've said...i've met some lovely ppl online too.

but basically do as blancita says though...NOT as i did!!!

there was also a lot more going on in my daft head at the time...that even i'm slightly embarrassed to admit...even from behind the safety of my laptop!!! when i met no.3 i'd already had 2 marriages end with hubbies that at the beginning i'd REALLY fancied the pants off & thought i loved...fickle creature that i am :blush5:

so when i met no.3 i made a conscious decision (did not say it was a RATIONAL decision) to go against my type...thinking it was THAT...that had lead to things going pear shaped...dark haired/jack the lad types (i'm over that now...so i have matured slightly!! thank god!!) no that just meant they were the type to get up to no good :doh: which they did & no i don't mean affairs...hindsights a bitch ain't it?? but back to then...so i went ahead with it...ignoring every blummin alarm bell going off in my head...b/c what did i know right?? with 2 divorces??!

so no.3 was not my type physically...plus he was a 'suit' type job wise...very formal (but hopefully responsible too so i thought?? why??!) when we met i was working with women who had suffered domestic abuse....money/the career ladder...were not things i ever focused on...still don't!! i chose what work i did on the basis that if i could i liked to try to help those less fortunate than i am or who were suffering somehow....made sense to me...but then i was suddenly under career scrutiny by him & his work colleagues & was expected also to play the little mrs at fancy business dinners/functions etc...i rebelled...i'd get quite tipsy with utter bordom & encourage ppl to dance on the table tops....it did not go down well...........:D nor did he like it when i emailed some of his friends to contribute items of clothing to a collection i was making for a local homeless shelter i had started doing voluntary work in.

looking back we were just sooooo bloody obviously unsuited but he'd muddled things too with all his fibs about having so many interests as me...which he manged to fake for about a yr. as really pathetic as it sounds...i think the only real thing we both had in common was wanting a child...at the time we met i had a son of 11 & really wanted another baby before my eggs started to dry up LOL plus my mother had had an early menopause too which had me a bit panicked at the time too...turns out 10 yrs later i'm still as fertile as ever...so i could have waited...but despite all the crap that went on...can't totally regret meeting him as that would be like wishing my youngest son away...& while husbands may come & go...kids are for keeps!! :beating:

but yeah...
there are two pieces of advice i could offer...

make sure you do REALLY REALLY fancy the pants/knickers off your mate & love them to bits...b/c at least then if the shit does hit the fan...you'll know you had it really good for a while too...

plus don't always try to convince yourself...that they are THE ONE...they may just be the one right now...& thats ok too (just don't marry them!! LOL) most r/ships you have will end...its all good...its all meant...just trying each other on...it only takes one time for a r/ship to work out & you've got IT!!!
 
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i'm on match.com...just out of curiousity. damn dr. phil and those commercials on tv telling me to do it. but i'm not paying an assload of money a month, considering it shows me profiles of people who 'wink' at me and it's men that are the age of my father. it'll tell me that i have new emails, but i have to pay for them also...i'm just assuming those are messages from those old men too. although, i could be missing something good out there. who knows. it's not worth my time. and even though it's supposed to be based on common interests and what-not, i doubt i'd have as many hits on my page if i didn't post a picture...so online dating is shallow too.
 
Ashley Madison dot com is where I play.

haha, just kidding. Being a big Stern fan, it's unavoidable to erase that place from the brain.

My lil bro snagged a keeper on eharmony. I was shocked he used it and even more surprised he found a good one in the basket. Personally, I'll never sign up for love. That's just all so wrong of making that elusive spark happen. It seems too industrial.
 
Both my aunt and my sister met their current husbands on and online dating service. They've been happily married for years too!

And I too met my boyfriend online. Not through a dating service though. We've been living together for a year now and doing great--I love him so much.

I STRONGLY support meeting people online, but that may be because I've seen so many people find such great success.
 
Although my post was kind of 'anti-online dating', I do agree with you Wild Vulpix, and support people that meet others online. I, too, have seen it become successful. I guess what I was trying to say above that it just isn't for me...but then again, I'm in a relationship, I shouldn't be searching online for someone else. :)
 
I'm all for online dating. I mean, how else are you going to meet 48 year old men pretending to be "hot 18/f/cali with pics"...???
 
once i went on one of those sites, just for laughs. i'm pretty young and i don't need a boyfriend. but i was scared off the website by some pedo guy who told me my lips are cute or something. i was like, um, i'll just delete my account. :rotflmao:
 
I'll be attending a wedding in May. The met on a site called plentyoffish.com it's free apparently.
 
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