One Step at a Time
- Thread starter AnnSparks
- Start date
kittycat1
New member
Hey Ann, read your first post and I love it! If I take your height in calculation I think I can understand where you are and where do you wanna end up, because I think we are around same ratio.
I somehow understood this part of 'feeling' fat when you actually wasn't. It is partially my story, When I was little I was chubby kid, but more like bigger built than fat, you know, just little bit higher than other kids, with chubby legs and tummy. I was never too much obese kid but just chubbier than most around me. Of course my mom also did stuff to hide away my chubbines, learned me from early age to always have my t shirts long enough to cover my butt and tummy and so on... Also I was compared to my skinnier cousins all the time.
Unfortunately that produced a feeling that I'm as big as an elephant, even in my lighter periods, when I was around 180.
220, 240, 180 - I always felt the same. When I'm looking at my 180 photos now, I don't see I'm significantly bigger than others, a little bit - yeah, but I was felt like a hippo 10x fatter than everyone, and I actually wasn't THAT big. Mentality and our own idea of ourself are wery important in this process, and if you are unable to see yourself realistically and be thankful and happy with your own effort and results, that's not very good.
But it seems like you realized and recognized some aspects of that 'mental broken mirror' you are carrying in your head. That's great start and with that mentality I'm sure you are gonna make it! I'm rooting for you!
And yes, I ADORE your horses <3 Such beautiful animals!! I live in the city so I rarely had an opportunity to pet them, but wehn I was little girl my great grandmother had some in the country, I really loved going there!
I somehow understood this part of 'feeling' fat when you actually wasn't. It is partially my story, When I was little I was chubby kid, but more like bigger built than fat, you know, just little bit higher than other kids, with chubby legs and tummy. I was never too much obese kid but just chubbier than most around me. Of course my mom also did stuff to hide away my chubbines, learned me from early age to always have my t shirts long enough to cover my butt and tummy and so on... Also I was compared to my skinnier cousins all the time.
Unfortunately that produced a feeling that I'm as big as an elephant, even in my lighter periods, when I was around 180.
220, 240, 180 - I always felt the same. When I'm looking at my 180 photos now, I don't see I'm significantly bigger than others, a little bit - yeah, but I was felt like a hippo 10x fatter than everyone, and I actually wasn't THAT big. Mentality and our own idea of ourself are wery important in this process, and if you are unable to see yourself realistically and be thankful and happy with your own effort and results, that's not very good.
But it seems like you realized and recognized some aspects of that 'mental broken mirror' you are carrying in your head. That's great start and with that mentality I'm sure you are gonna make it! I'm rooting for you!
And yes, I ADORE your horses <3 Such beautiful animals!! I live in the city so I rarely had an opportunity to pet them, but wehn I was little girl my great grandmother had some in the country, I really loved going there!
That's wonderful - beautiful - about Sam standing guard over his downed friend/herdmate. There is so much in human-animal interactions - we (the humans) would be so much poorer without them, like in some future huge space station - everything you could possibly want, but no friendly beasts.
Your cousin's filly is very good-looking! Great that the two of you will be working together, even if at a distance, on your matched goals. (That bareback leap sounds ambitious! Go, you!)
Your cousin's filly is very good-looking! Great that the two of you will be working together, even if at a distance, on your matched goals. (That bareback leap sounds ambitious! Go, you!)
AnnSparks
New member
I'm glad you guys liked the little tid-bit of Sam standing over me. I thought you guys would enjoy it.
@kittycat Welcome to my thread I'm glad you're enjoying reading about everything so far. And that's quite something that we went through such similar things. I'm glad you managed to figure out those things too. I find pictures are the best way to reset my mind as to what size I really am more than mirrors or how I feel, but after seeing pictures, I can usually then feel the difference as well and it balances out like that.
[QUOTE="liza, post: 1099087, member: 165791
That workout plan sounds intense to me. Was that what the trainer worked out for you or did you create that plan yourself?[/QUOTE]
I made it myself. I've seen a few workouts for beginners and such going on and I ended up just figuring something out. But because my knees and lower back aren't 100% good, I'll be doing stuff for 30 mins first and work it up to 45 mins and eventually an hour or so. So I'm not going full out right away.
@kittycat Welcome to my thread
I'm glad you're enjoying reading about everything so far. And that's quite something that we went through such similar things. I'm glad you managed to figure out those things too. I find pictures are the best way to reset my mind as to what size I really am more than mirrors or how I feel, but after seeing pictures, I can usually then feel the difference as well and it balances out like that. [QUOTE="liza, post: 1099087, member: 165791
That workout plan sounds intense to me. Was that what the trainer worked out for you or did you create that plan yourself?[/QUOTE]
I made it myself. I've seen a few workouts for beginners and such going on and I ended up just figuring something out. But because my knees and lower back aren't 100% good, I'll be doing stuff for 30 mins first and work it up to 45 mins and eventually an hour or so. So I'm not going full out right away.
AnnSparks
New member
So these last couple days have been interesting.
At this point, my weight has actually remained stable. I haven't gained but I haven't really lost anything yet either. So basically, I'm maintaining. That wasn't really my goal but at the same time, I don't really mind since it gives my body some time to adjust to this and I haven't gained so that's the main thing. Still have a few more days before the end of another week comes to an end so we'll see where I'm at with that.
I started my workout yesterday and did a few crunches (about 10 - 15) that I definitely felt start to burn. Kind of weird how they burn actually. Makes me feel like I'm going to be sick. But I'm sure that'll get better the more I do it. I also did the plank for 30 seconds. Did donkey kicks which still feel decently easy when in correct position and can do 20 each side. Can tell one leg/side is weaker than the other though. Did some lunges with twists. Did about 5 mins on the bike as a warm up. Some stretches, and the stepping thing for 30 seconds which felt like torture after everything else lol. I think there was another one or two things I did but I don't remember right now.
Then I went out and about and was gone all day, doing one thing after another which also included spending time and working the horses for about 2 - 3 hours so I got even more of a workout in through that.
By the time I got back, I had to prep food for this week so I was constantly doing stuff until I finally collasped into bed. I also only ate breakfast and some turkey bacon as I was prepping food for the week, but that's it. I was so busy I completely forgot about food, plus didn't want to eat things that go against my eating style now.
So it was an interesting day. Now this morning, I did my time on the bike again for my cardio, then I have work soon, and then I'll be working with the horses again after work and get another bit of a workout with that. Still feeling tired from yesterday, and I think this week will be hardest in general but if I can get through this week, then it should start getting easier. At least I hope so lol.
And to finish things off, some pics of the boys from yesterday.
I find it rather interesting how differently the two carry themselves plus it's so funny to see Sam fly around with ease and Jack is having to work as hard as he can to even remotely keep up xD
At this point, my weight has actually remained stable. I haven't gained but I haven't really lost anything yet either. So basically, I'm maintaining. That wasn't really my goal but at the same time, I don't really mind since it gives my body some time to adjust to this and I haven't gained so that's the main thing. Still have a few more days before the end of another week comes to an end so we'll see where I'm at with that.
I started my workout yesterday and did a few crunches (about 10 - 15) that I definitely felt start to burn. Kind of weird how they burn actually. Makes me feel like I'm going to be sick. But I'm sure that'll get better the more I do it. I also did the plank for 30 seconds. Did donkey kicks which still feel decently easy when in correct position and can do 20 each side. Can tell one leg/side is weaker than the other though. Did some lunges with twists. Did about 5 mins on the bike as a warm up. Some stretches, and the stepping thing for 30 seconds which felt like torture after everything else lol. I think there was another one or two things I did but I don't remember right now.
Then I went out and about and was gone all day, doing one thing after another which also included spending time and working the horses for about 2 - 3 hours so I got even more of a workout in through that.
By the time I got back, I had to prep food for this week so I was constantly doing stuff until I finally collasped into bed. I also only ate breakfast and some turkey bacon as I was prepping food for the week, but that's it. I was so busy I completely forgot about food, plus didn't want to eat things that go against my eating style now.
So it was an interesting day. Now this morning, I did my time on the bike again for my cardio, then I have work soon, and then I'll be working with the horses again after work and get another bit of a workout with that. Still feeling tired from yesterday, and I think this week will be hardest in general but if I can get through this week, then it should start getting easier. At least I hope so lol.
And to finish things off, some pics of the boys from yesterday.
I find it rather interesting how differently the two carry themselves plus it's so funny to see Sam fly around with ease and Jack is having to work as hard as he can to even remotely keep up xD
AnnSparks
New member
Week 5 Update
Current Weight: 209.5 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 11 lbs
This week was rather interesting. Like my last post or so mentioned, for most of the week, I was actually maintaining my weight and not losing anything. But as soon as Monday hit and I started to do my workouts, I've lost like, 3 pounds. Which is quite something but I'm pretty happy with it. And I'm also very happy that I've actually managed to stick to the workouts so far and not skip a day. I didn't do any measurements today as I don't want to do them every week. So I'll probably measure again next week and see how that's going.
I've also started to get full easier, as in it's taking less food to get me to feel full. Breakfast is a bit of an exception but I eat after I've done my workout and then I go and work with my horses. So I do have make sure I'm a little more careful how much I eat there, but honestly, chewing gum has really helped out. And feeling hungry between meals is less than what it used to be. Yesterday I wasn't even able to finish my smaller lunch with how full I felt. I also wasn't particularly hungry at supper time, so I just finished off my lunch for supper. But I find it's a 50/50 chance now on whether or not I'll eat something for supper, or totally forget about it cause I'm not that hungry if at all. And I also don't have snacks between meals. One reason for this is because of my work. I get one 30 min break so I don't really get a moment for a snack, but I also really don't need it.
So ya, that's everything in a nutshell. Weight loss has continued and I'm excited about it. I'm hopping that in another 2 to 3 weeks, I'll be under the 200 mark with the way I've been losing weight so far. The last time I lost weight, I made it to 195 roughly so I'm planning on definitely losing more than that, and not letting it come back on once I get to that point. And, I think as a reward, Once I do get under the 200 lb mark, I'll let myself get some sort of junk food that I haven't had in a while as a reward as well as to see how that food makes me feel. I find that once I've stuck to a certain way of eating, junk food makes me feel sick. So I'm slightly hoping that by eating junk food on this reward day, that it'll end up making me feel sick enough that it'll just further my resolve to just not have it since it's not worth feeling sick over. I applied this method to a Lindt chocolate since those used to be my faves, except I ate them till I was literally sick of them, and now, I only ever have one or two and that's it. I'm never tempted to eat more than that at a time. So I'm hoping I can do something like that again to cut down on my want of this food.
To finish things up, some pics of me working Sam. He's being brought back into work and yesterday was day 3 for him and there was already a big improvement on how well he was listening so I'm pretty happy with that.
Current Weight: 209.5 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 11 lbs
This week was rather interesting. Like my last post or so mentioned, for most of the week, I was actually maintaining my weight and not losing anything. But as soon as Monday hit and I started to do my workouts, I've lost like, 3 pounds. Which is quite something but I'm pretty happy with it. And I'm also very happy that I've actually managed to stick to the workouts so far and not skip a day. I didn't do any measurements today as I don't want to do them every week. So I'll probably measure again next week and see how that's going.
I've also started to get full easier, as in it's taking less food to get me to feel full. Breakfast is a bit of an exception but I eat after I've done my workout and then I go and work with my horses. So I do have make sure I'm a little more careful how much I eat there, but honestly, chewing gum has really helped out. And feeling hungry between meals is less than what it used to be. Yesterday I wasn't even able to finish my smaller lunch with how full I felt. I also wasn't particularly hungry at supper time, so I just finished off my lunch for supper. But I find it's a 50/50 chance now on whether or not I'll eat something for supper, or totally forget about it cause I'm not that hungry if at all. And I also don't have snacks between meals. One reason for this is because of my work. I get one 30 min break so I don't really get a moment for a snack, but I also really don't need it.
So ya, that's everything in a nutshell. Weight loss has continued and I'm excited about it. I'm hopping that in another 2 to 3 weeks, I'll be under the 200 mark with the way I've been losing weight so far. The last time I lost weight, I made it to 195 roughly so I'm planning on definitely losing more than that, and not letting it come back on once I get to that point. And, I think as a reward, Once I do get under the 200 lb mark, I'll let myself get some sort of junk food that I haven't had in a while as a reward as well as to see how that food makes me feel. I find that once I've stuck to a certain way of eating, junk food makes me feel sick. So I'm slightly hoping that by eating junk food on this reward day, that it'll end up making me feel sick enough that it'll just further my resolve to just not have it since it's not worth feeling sick over. I applied this method to a Lindt chocolate since those used to be my faves, except I ate them till I was literally sick of them, and now, I only ever have one or two and that's it. I'm never tempted to eat more than that at a time. So I'm hoping I can do something like that again to cut down on my want of this food.
To finish things up, some pics of me working Sam. He's being brought back into work and yesterday was day 3 for him and there was already a big improvement on how well he was listening so I'm pretty happy with that.
alligatorob
Respected Member
AnnSparks
New member
I am. Just eating until I feel full which takes less food than it used which is nice and I'm still operating just fine
Nice to hear you continuing to do so well Ann! Your energy sounds really good. That's great. Thanks for continuing to post all those lovely pictures too. I really enjoy them
Glad you guys are still enjoying the pics. I've got many more to share with my posts lol.
Yup! Starting to workout on Monday kicked the weight loss back into gear lol.
AnnSparks
New member
So today hasn't been great. Turns out I'm getting sick. My boss actually sent me home early from work today. So I went back to bed around 12 ish and only now woke up at 6:30 pm. I actually feel a lot better than I did when I first got home.
I've also decided that while I'm sick, I'm going to have a cheat meal since I won't eat as much as normal anyway. I also ate nothing this morning since I felt nausous but when I felt better, I had some food from KFC cause that's just what I was in the mood for lol. And since I haven't eaten anything today and slept a lot, it hasn't put me over my calorie intake at all.
When I weighed myself just now yesterday, I'm at 208 lbs. So I've actually lost a pound since Thursday. And when I weighed myself now, I'm still at that weight. So thankfully my cheat meal hasn't affected that but I figured it wouldn't since I literally haven't eaten today until now.
And since you all like them so much, some more pics of the boys. This time I'll post some pics of Jack since Sam had a bit more attention on him for a while lol. Managed to get some training in with Jack this morning before the sick really hit and he did pretty good, though he did give me my workout for the day lol.
I've also decided that while I'm sick, I'm going to have a cheat meal since I won't eat as much as normal anyway. I also ate nothing this morning since I felt nausous but when I felt better, I had some food from KFC cause that's just what I was in the mood for lol. And since I haven't eaten anything today and slept a lot, it hasn't put me over my calorie intake at all.
When I weighed myself just now yesterday, I'm at 208 lbs. So I've actually lost a pound since Thursday. And when I weighed myself now, I'm still at that weight. So thankfully my cheat meal hasn't affected that but I figured it wouldn't since I literally haven't eaten today until now.
And since you all like them so much, some more pics of the boys. This time I'll post some pics of Jack since Sam had a bit more attention on him for a while lol. Managed to get some training in with Jack this morning before the sick really hit and he did pretty good, though he did give me my workout for the day lol.
alligatorob
Respected Member
Congrats on losing the pound! Hope you feel better soon.
Sunflower19
Member
Omg Ann, just found your diary! Your horses are gorgeous!!!! I’m new to the forum too hope you make a speedy recovery soon! It sucks being sick
hope you make a speedy recovery soon! It sucks being sick
AnnSparks
New member
Thanks everyone I'm glad to say that I'm much better now. Not quite 100% yet, but much better than I was before.
And welcome to the diary and forum @Sunflower19 I'm glad you're enjoying the pics of my boys
I'm glad to say that I'm much better now. Not quite 100% yet, but much better than I was before. And welcome to the diary and forum @Sunflower19 I'm glad you're enjoying the pics of my boys
AnnSparks
New member
Week 6 Update
Current Weight: 207 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 13 lbs
Can't believe it's been 6 weeks now. Time has really flown by. But I did manage to still lose some weight while sick. And before you ask, no, I didn't purposefully do anything to encourage too much weightloss or anything this week. I was mostly just sleeping, drinking as much water as I could stand, and eating here and there as I could manage it. Honestly, most of the food I did eat this last week was not good, healthy stuff. Like, the one day I had a meal from KFC, another day I had a wrap and muffin from Tim Hortons (a canadian coffee shop for any who don't know about it), and some homemade cheesecake, fresh home made bun from my grandma, maybe a cookie or two. And that's actually pretty much all I've managed to eat since Saturday.
One reason why I didn't eat much else was because certain foods would make me feel nauseous just looking or smelling them. So I went with eating whatever I could handle so that I could get at least some sort of food into my system. Even water sometimes made me feel sick when I'd drink it.
But now I'm doing better and while some food still really doesn't appeal to me, I think I'll just buy a bit of different groceries the next time I go shopping to give myself a bit of variety. I also haven't been able to work with the horses in that amount of time either unfortunately. Hopefully soon though. Maybe even today.
I also didn't work out at all. I mostly slept the last couple days and it honestly feels like I could still sleep even more. But I do need to go to work and keep going with it so that I have money to feed myself and the horses.
On the plus side, I did lose 2 lbs more. I'm starting to notice my clothes are fitting differently as well. My pants are actually starting to fall down a little so that's definitely a good sign I've been losing weight. I can't wait for the day where I'll be under the 200 lbs mark. It's getting close and I'm excited for it. I'm also excited that I've lost over 10 lbs now too. And I'm going to start incorporating exercise back into my day, but I'm going to do it slowly so that I don't push myself too hard too fast.
And to finish things off, here's some pics of my boys that I got before I became sick.
Current Weight: 207 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 13 lbs
Can't believe it's been 6 weeks now. Time has really flown by. But I did manage to still lose some weight while sick. And before you ask, no, I didn't purposefully do anything to encourage too much weightloss or anything this week. I was mostly just sleeping, drinking as much water as I could stand, and eating here and there as I could manage it. Honestly, most of the food I did eat this last week was not good, healthy stuff. Like, the one day I had a meal from KFC, another day I had a wrap and muffin from Tim Hortons (a canadian coffee shop for any who don't know about it), and some homemade cheesecake, fresh home made bun from my grandma, maybe a cookie or two. And that's actually pretty much all I've managed to eat since Saturday.
One reason why I didn't eat much else was because certain foods would make me feel nauseous just looking or smelling them. So I went with eating whatever I could handle so that I could get at least some sort of food into my system. Even water sometimes made me feel sick when I'd drink it.
But now I'm doing better and while some food still really doesn't appeal to me, I think I'll just buy a bit of different groceries the next time I go shopping to give myself a bit of variety. I also haven't been able to work with the horses in that amount of time either unfortunately. Hopefully soon though. Maybe even today.
I also didn't work out at all. I mostly slept the last couple days and it honestly feels like I could still sleep even more. But I do need to go to work and keep going with it so that I have money to feed myself and the horses.
On the plus side, I did lose 2 lbs more. I'm starting to notice my clothes are fitting differently as well. My pants are actually starting to fall down a little so that's definitely a good sign I've been losing weight. I can't wait for the day where I'll be under the 200 lbs mark. It's getting close and I'm excited for it. I'm also excited that I've lost over 10 lbs now too. And I'm going to start incorporating exercise back into my day, but I'm going to do it slowly so that I don't push myself too hard too fast.
And to finish things off, here's some pics of my boys that I got before I became sick.