Cohen's Lifestyle My Journey On Cohen's

Prefix for Cohen's Lifestyle
It's Been A While

Hello all,

Well it's been a while since I last posted and a lot's been happening.
I may have mentioned in an earlier post that I have joined a Buddhist group in midtown and we meet each week now to study a Buddhist text in detail. It's so awesome. Exactly what I've been searching for. Just from the introduction evening, I felt renewed. We talked about how the aim of spiritual practice is to remove impurities from the mind. Impurities are negative emotions like greed, blame, anger... I really do believe they are impurities. They don't really make sense.

For example, at the moment, my sister and I are going through a rough patch. We only talk once every couple of months and it's really just a quick catchup on the fact that we each blame the other for the breakdown in our relationship. The other day I messaged her to say I really miss her in my life and I hope we can work things out... I also said we need to talk it through as we've spent a year in this muddle and if we don't discuss it, we'll each walk away with resentment due to confusion and miscommunication. In typical style she said "no" to the idea of discussing it and threw some profanities at me. She really seems to think I'm evil. Then again, she's also 23 and I was pretty angry with the world at 23. So maybe it's just her age...

Anyway, the old me would have received her message and thought "wow, SHE is so wrong... SHE is the problem." But I realized a while ago now that blame is the game nearly everyone plays, yet no one seems to win at it. For right or for wrong, we ALL seem to think we're right and everyone else is wrong!

That's a clue to me that blaming isn't going to get me anywhere. As I know it just builds a wedge between people. And what if I am wrong? What if in my limited and skewed perception of myself I am missing something important in how I'm being.

For example, I realized that in wanting to 'talk things through' i was actually just looking for the opportunity to show her how wrong she has been towards me. Because in my mind, I am so sure she's to blame for this. So even when it came to suggesting we communicate truthfully, I was going in with an ulterior motive to show her she's wrong.

I love Buddhism. We were talking about how emotions aren't who we are. They are like clouds in the sky. And just like the weather passes/changes, so do our emotions. The goal then is to observe them rather than "be" them. Just last night I got all caught up in the emotion of regret and longing. Imagine if regret was really a cloud. And you saw a girl sitting on the street crying and saying "Look at the black cloud. Isn't it awful? I can't believe it. I am so depressed because of that cloud." You'd think she was nuts!

But that's how we are with our emotions. We experience them as if they are us. But they are just clouds in the mind. Just passing through. We get so upset by them. We mistake them for who we are.

Did I mention I love Buddhism? It's like pure relief.

28 x
 
Last edited:
Hi 28+, I agree with you about Buddhism. I love it. I looked at my mood last Sunday as a big black cloud that followed me around all day & actually visualised it. Instead of seeing myself as angry or depressed I visualised that black cloud being blown away & it was. Nothing has changed, just the way I'm seeing things. Once I would have dragged that cloud down & wrapped it around me. Not any more. I choose to blow it away. I have your web-site on "My Yahoo" & read your up-dates & have had a good look around it. I wonder how you find time to do anything else. It is truly excellent. It looks like you have found your path & I can see you doing very well with it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts & knowledge, xo Cate.
 
Awe thanks :)

Thank you, Cate! That's so nice of you to say about my site. I am glad you are finding it of value. It's hard to know if it's good or not. I can only go by my own instinct. Some of it is still very rough and ready but I agree that some of it is actually quite strong. Anyway, we'll get there. I have a lot of plans for the site so visit often! In fact, I just changed the look and feel over. This was not easy but very rewarding!

This week hasn't been easy. I've been fidgety and irritable. Each day at work I've struggled not to eat all my snacks (fruit and crackers) before lunch time. And I've even struggled with leaving 5 hours in between breakfast and lunch. Not sure why.

I decided mid week to give up sugar free chewing gum except for in emergencies. I just find I get too excited by it and then disappointed once I've had my daily five pieces. The day I decided to give it up, I ate the remaining pieces I could find. All 10 of them. So technically I broke my plan. But it's fine. I mean I had like three chews of each piece and then spat them out! Lol.

I have lost a few more pounds this week and now have a BMI of 25.6. Wow. I don't think I've been this light in about 7-8 years. And back then I was only light b/c I was so depressed I couldn't eat properly! This feels amazing. Today I went into the ladies bathroom and spent a good five minutes checking myself out. I couldn't help it. I was so shocked by what I saw. How small I am getting! I am definitely no longer "a big girl" which is for the most part, all I've ever known!

My parents are going to be sooo shocked when they see me at Chrissy. I'm sure I've mentioned before that the last time they saw me I was about 50-70 lbs heavier. And I plan on losing 30 more before I see them. Mum might faint. I think I'll cry. It will be a big moment for all of us because my whole family has lived my weight issues with me (they had no choice). Just like I've struggle at the hands of their shortcomings, I am sure they feel like they have struggled at mine. And weight has been one weighty subject for me. Ever since I was in a highchair. Seriously!

This w/e I am attending a meditation workshop with Genpo Roshi. It's called Big Mind, Big Heart. I can't wait. Attendees are going out for dinner tonight but I decided not to. I am exhausted from the week and the w/e will be jam packed. And anyway, I made the decision many months ago now to devote myself 100% to Cohen's. It's just six months of my life. Consequently, everything else has to come second, including socializing. I have to say though, I do get a bit lonely and bored. I am definitely more of a homebody since being on Cohen's.

Alright then, I am off now. Just wanted to check in and update the world on the life and times of 28+1.

x
 
It's not forever, as you know. It's more like a 'sabbatical' from our usual life to pay the attention to ourselves that we need to get our bodies in order. We'll look back and think that's the best thing we ever did for ourselves, I'm sure.

Have a good week.
 
Niyah!

Thank you, Niyah, wise one!

I was reading back through my old diary entries last night
and you have such words of wisdom.

You are right, I am positive I'll look back and feel so pleased with
my decision to do Cohen's. This is truly life-changing. It's just some
times boring too, lol!

I guess anything of value comes at a price and I'm paying cash
with my social life on this one... haha!!!

Thanks again, good to hear from you.

28
 
Hi.. i know how you feel.. Which is why i love that saying about sacrifice.. ‘Sacrifice is giving up something good for something better’. I read that on this site and it defiantly applies.. just imagine how great you will look and feel at goal weight in social situations..yay..
 
Sacrifice

Yes, bensmum, you are so right... sacrifice is giving something up for something better! I love that!

I have actually got out of control with sugarfree gum. I am fine in all other aspects of cohen's.... well actually I've also been struggling with spacing my food.

I was a bit sad at first because it means i haven't conquered my hungry/starving/bingeing self. But then I realized it's just fear and emotion talking. I am obviously making so much progress that my ego is threatened. So today I am okay about everything and have resolved to permanently stay away from gum. And just breathe!
 
Hey 28+1

I find it interesting that you are having some issues with the sugar-free gum as I am finding the same thing. I think just having something refreshing and sweet for a change is causing me to get a bit obsessive about it. I have a few times eaten more than my allowance so I know exactly how you feel. I know it wont make any difference to the amount of weight we will loose so I think okay it's not a big deal if I have an extra piece, but that minty burst of sweetness makes me want more of it.
Were in the same boat so dont feel strange about it, I think after loosing so much weight our bodies naturally crave something sweet especally when your getting closer to goal. I am not going to beat myself up about the gum as I know even thought it's not following the rules 100% it's just gum. Just try to start the next day gum free or only put as many pieces as your allowed in your handbag (and dont buy anymore). I think we just need to speak to ourselfs and say "No, that's all you get" instead of listening to the voice that say's "Just one more piece".

Your doing ow so well now and I'm sure your looking Hot hot hot!!!! Goal weight here we come! We can do it girl, so keep at it.

Take care honey and try to focus on other things
xx
 
My New Cohen's Guidelines For The Final Stretch

Hi Everyone,

Nicky! Great to hear from you. Thanks for your encouragement. It is funny that we're both experiencing this issue at this point in the program. Our stats aren't that different. I wonder what it's about!!! Why now? I got to the point where I was so excited by chewing gum and I don't like that. It's a sign it's a crutch. I realize the fact that I can chew until my jaw hardly functions is a sign I am emotional... I need to get back in touch with what I am feeling. Do you subscribe to this theory, Nickychick, or do you think it's simply a craving for sweets?

Tomorrow is Sunday and I am pumped because Sunday is the beginning of my Cohen's week. I have just re-read the program guidelines and have resolved to do a couple of things:

- Completely cut out gum (it's an absolute no no for the remainder of the year). In re-reading the program guidelines I also discovered that fruit gums are out and that's what I've been chewing. Bummer. Oh well. It can't be that impactful as I've continued to lose weight

- Up my water to 3 liters/day. I have been at 1.5 liters the whole way. I'm now ready to kick my efforts into high gear and help my body flush out all and any remaining toxins

- Be more expansive in my cooking. I'm in a rut alright! I eat curry chicken and asparagus soup whenever I can. I love it! But I think I am going to start trying to incorporate more veggies into my diet

- Cut back on spices. Nothing too drastic, but I do use a lot. My plan doesn't specify any limits and I don't go that crazy but I do feel like I should start measuring to make sure I am not going too nuts

So that's it, ladies and gents! I'm all fired up for the final 13 weeks (or the second half!) of my Cohen's journey. I have about 13 kilos to lose by Christmas. It's about 12 weeks til Christmas so I need to be in high gear (which I am in case you can't tell!)

I am pumped.

28 x :hat:
 
Hi 28. It can be good to have some things up your sleeve, like cutting down on spices etc. Especially now you're in the 2nd half. You sound pumped, so you will do this. I reckon you'll be done in time,

Stay Strong x
 
Awe, thanks, L-Jay

Thanks, L-Jay.... such a sweet note.
It's so funny how much power others can give
you... you just saying that you think I'll make it
has spurred me on so much!

Appreciate your kindness xx 28
 
I am a NORMAL WEIGHT

Well, Ladies and Gents, life is sweet today!
I am finally a BMI of 24.9, which means today I
am classified as the magical "NORMAL". Woo Hoo.
I am feeling great and can't imagine what I'll
look like at goal... already seeing a slim girl in the mirror.
Loving it, loving it, LOVING IT!!! La la la!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So funny, I am getting to an ideal weight for the first time
ever and everyone else is moving into a new lifestage. Another
friend is pregnant. I am so far behind. But Whatevs!

28 x
 
Fantastic news, 28! I'm trying to translate pounds into kilos and it looks like you've just broken under the 80kg mark, so something starting with "7", which is great! Power on to the end - not far now!
 
Wow 28 you have done amazingly well. A normal weight, how I long for the day. When I first read your diary round about when I started 7 weeks ago, I thought how amazing it was that you had given yourself 28 weeks to get to goal, I had only about 18 weeks until I go on holiday in Dec and I don't think I will get to goal, although I am going to try my best, but I am not stressing about it now the way I was in the beginning. I am still obese after losing almost 16kg but I know that things will change.

I am also looking in the mirror more now, not with such disgust anymore, now I am starting to like what I see - my face that is. I don't have a full length mirror, I will have to invest in one!

Enjoy the feeling you certainly deserve it!

Sue
 
Whoo hoo so excited for you 28!!!

It feels SO good to finally be considered "normal" doesn't it! Fantastic work and yes I bet you are starting to look like a skinny chicky babe :)

xx
 
28WeeksAnd1Day said:
Well, Ladies and Gents, life is sweet today!
I am finally a BMI of 24.9, which means today I
am classified as the magical "NORMAL". Woo Hoo.
I am feeling great and can't imagine what I'll
look like at goal... already seeing a slim girl in the mirror.
Loving it, loving it, LOVING IT!!! La la la!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Click to expand...
Wee Hoo 28!
Congratulations "normal" you!
Love the la la la!
28WeeksAnd1Day said:
So funny, I am getting to an ideal weight for the first time
ever and everyone else is moving into a new lifestage. Another
friend is pregnant. I am so far behind. But Whatevs!
28 x
Click to expand...
Wrong! Not behind, just different.
To me, you are forging ahead.
Never compare, xo Cate
 
Thanks, Cate. You are right about no point in comparing. but it is hard not fall prey to the need sometimes. Anyway, I think you're so right. And I just need to remind myself of that.

I've not felt that great today. Feeling lonely and stressed. Looking in the mirror now I'm seeing what I've always feared - my face is changing. I am so attached to my fat face. Now it's going. I wonder what I'll look like. I hope I'll be attractive. But maybe I'll be a ball of wrinkles and loose skin.

There's so much change happening and I just need to breathe and stick with this process. I'm not just talking about my body either. I have change going on in every major area:

Home: moving to oz next year
Relationships: single but seeking likeminded soul
Career: retraining for new jobs in new professions

This time in my life is magical. I have always wished I could change and now I am. I feel like my time has finally come and I've broken through my own barrier. But I am afraid at times. Like right now.

Oh well, I'll get over it.

I hope I look good thin. I'm so scared I'll be ugly! lol.

Tomorrow I'm off to a wedding shower. Think cake, biscuits, champagne, and think chicken and asparagus soup! yep, I'm taking my own and going to heat it up. I really don't care what anyone thinks.

Peace out, people.

28x
 
Hello again,

Thank you so much for your supportive notes, Niyah, Willbslim and Nicky. I forgot to shout out to all of you in my last post.

Niyah, you are right. I am now in the 70s! High school weight, I believe (yr 12 formal!)

Nicky, great to hear from you, too. I miss you! I hope your health is getting better. Did you find out about your liver? I remember you saying that your tests were showing liver damage... what happened with that?

Sue, thanks for your lovely note. I know what it's like to be obese. It's not what you deserve. I hope you stick with Cohen's and ALLOW yourself to experience a whole new world of possibility that a healthy sized body allows. I am a big believer that the mind and body are intrinsically connected. So how you feel is how you look, etc. When you lose weight, you simply feel so much better.

I wore a short black dress to work the other day. One of my work friends came over and said "wow! you've really turned into one of those girls. A really cool girl. you really have that look!"

Naturally I hugged him :)

Anyway, we all deserve this. I hope you give it to yourself, Sue.

28 x
 
Hi 28, We are all a mass of contradictions. That's what makes us so different from any other species. It's hard to let go of what we are most used to. I know what you look like- you are stunning. There is no way known you will look ugly. It's not possible. It's time to say goodbye to the old 28 & start welcoming the new. It is fear of the unknown that is worrying you by the sound of it. We all fear something. We must feel the fear & do it anyway. Fear is normal & a part of life. I was afraid to be slim. There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of. You will be the same person when you are slim but you should be much more confident. You have come such a long way & have so much to give. When you find the right person for you 28, he will be one very lucky man. He's probably back here in Australia waiting for you.
We all have our down days. They pass. Treat yourself to a massage, a manicure or facial to pick yourself up sweets if you can. Sending you lots of love, Cate
 
Awe, Cate! What a magical post. You really said the right words. I feel so much better now. Thank you immensely for your support. I actually nearly got a tear in my eye (nearly, I said! I didn't, lol!)

Seriously, I am sure there are so many people on these boards who count themselves lucky to have your support. You truly just got me out of my anxiety and slump in a second.

Thank you, Cate! And thanks for the reassurance that there is someone out there for me. I kind of think there is too. But sometimes I wonder.

xx 28 xx
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top