Day 23
Hi everyone,
Well I've just finished day 23 of my journey and its going well. I spent the whole day dealing with governmental burocracy. Me and the WF had to go to home affairs to get our passports and other documentation and stood in a line for 2 and a half hours. At least we met a lot of nice people. Then I had to get our car licences renewed which took another 2 hours. But I feel like I accomplished something today.
I do however have the following remarks on myself:
1. I am extremely aggressive lately. I've never been a person to stand up for myself, admit that I'm angry or actaully get angry at all. I went for therapy a while back and the psychiatrist told me that I've never learnt to deal with anger and that I have a lot of pent up anger. Which I've always laughed at as I'm not really really not aggressive. To paint the picture a bit clearer... I started doing kickboxing, but hated the feeling of aggression that was needed to kick and punch. But this past week, I'm angry at everyone and everything. Any ideas on why????
2. I'm extremely forgetful. I drove an extra 15km to the licencing office today because I forgot where I was going to. I'm forgetting conversations I had, I'm walking into the kitchen to get something and 2 hours later I remember I wanted to do something in the kitchen. This is not like me at all. It's like my mind has left the building.
3. I'm depressed. I wrote a while back that I'm fighting it, but its back. I wake up every morning with an extreme sense of sadness. I haven't resorted to taking my antidepressants yet, I'm hoping that it will pass quickly. But the urge and physical need for Carbs is overwhelming.
I have Major depression and one of the main symptoms is the unreal craving for very high carb foods. like pasta, and bread. It has become unreal. I fight myself 24/7 at the moment to stick to my plan and to not deviate. But it is really difficult.
4. I've started to feel hungry again. I'm really really really hungry. But I think its linked to my craving for carbs. Don't really know. ?
And then I haven't even started on the weight.
I've not lost a gram since the last time I updated my ticker.
Overall, it looks like my honeymoon period with the diet is drawing to a close and I'm starting to have to really stay strong. I won't deviate, nor will I give up. It helps to write my feelings here
I hope you are all doing well.