Lucy's diary

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luzdafuzz said:
My oldest friend from childhood is due to have a baby at the end of our stay so I'll be helping her pass the time too, told her I'd help her fill up her freezer with meals for after the baby has arrived.
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She´ll appreciate that a lot, I´m sure!

luzdafuzz said:
It's cheaper to fly international than it is to fly east to west in Aus.
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That´s weird. I´ve heard that in certain areas of Africa anyone who can afford it who needs to fly anwhere will book a flight off the continent, than in again to their real destination because it makes such a flight safety difference but having flights within your own country more expensive than international flight sounds like some silly politics decision.
 
Yesterday
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Food
  • Sweet potato and spice baked oats with 40g light cream cheese with vanilla stevia
  • 150g pink lady apple with 40g crunchy peanut butter
  • Whole tub of Harry's peanut butter fudge ice cream
  • Leftover Nandos flavoured turkey/ cabbage/ leek
  • Perfectly balanced meatballs with 30g Tzatziki (I weigh the little dip tub before and after)
  • Not pictured, 2 black coffees, 2.1L water
Totals 2201 calories, 183 carbs, 116 fat, 100 protein

Fitbit deficit 178 calories

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Had osteopath again yesterday and my neck and upper back are actually good. My knees have suddenly flared up though, both of them, which is suuuuuper weird. I don't think both have flared at the same time since I hurt my back months ago and before that it only happened when I was working long hours on my feet. I can't tell if it's random pain that will just go away or of it's the beginning of tendonitis again argh.

We went to the movies yesterday and watched Venom which really wasn't great (I snuck in the ice cream in my handbag) and picked up Assassins Creed which Ash had preordered for me without telling me which was a nice surprise! Played that for a bit when we got home and iced my knees.
 
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cate said:
Hope the knees are ok tomorrow, Lucy! xo
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I just got back from my walk and they were mostly OK, I think it's more a muscle tightness issue. My left knee is always worse and the outside of my calf and the outside of my hamstring and quad close to my knee are all super tight. It was the same yesterday, stopping is when it seems to hurt more and I think sitting and watching a movie is when they got painful. So annoying.
 
One of the reasons I don´t like going to the cinema (apart from the earsplitting sound levels) is that those nice-looking seats are always desperately uncomfortable. They either kill my back or they kill my knees.
 
LaMaria said:
One of the reasons I don´t like going to the cinema (apart from the earsplitting sound levels) is that those nice-looking seats are always desperately uncomfortable. They either kill my back or they kill my knees.
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Yes! My lower back is so stiff too. We go to the movies so often and it takes a few days to feel normal again after, urgh.

Emilyrose said:
Nice to see you're getting such quality sleep! Are you feeling the benefits?
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I'm actually feeling a lot better in general. I think switching to a lower dose pill again has made me feel way more normal and in control of myself and calmer. Didn't realise just how much it affected me! Also yea, my sleep has been so much better. I think because I'm suddenly much less anxious.
 
Yesterday
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Food

  • Sweet potato baked oats with 40g light cream cheese with a drop of vanilla stevia
  • Vanilla yopro with 20g peanut butter
  • Sugar free lemonade
  • Pizza with 2 mountain bread, 30g tomato paste, 1 cup spinach, 100g smoked ham, 50g pineapple, 60g mozzarella
  • Homemade chips - 537g (raw weight) lite spuds with 10g peanut oil
  • Pint of peanut butter cookie dough ice cream
Totals 2448 calories, 266 carbs, 97 fat, 109 protein

Fitbit deficit -375

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Got my higher calorie days out the way. Also yes, I've had ice cream 4 days in a row lol. Not planning on any more for the rest of the week!

Definitely feeling twinge-y and tendonitis-y. I re-habbed through it last time, just means I dial my lower body exercises back in intensity and try sticking to flat areas for walking. I have another osteo appointment on Friday, I think I'll get him to work on my hips as my right hip has stiffened as well as my whole left leg being generally weird.
 
luzdafuzz said:
I think switching to a lower dose pill again has made me feel way more normal and in control of myself and calmer. Didn't realise just how much it affected me!
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Isn´t it depressingly impressive how much a couple of molecules can influence everything? I hope you feel better on the inflammation side as well soon.
 
LaMaria said:
Isn´t it depressingly impressive how much a couple of molecules can influence everything? I hope you feel better on the inflammation side as well soon.
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Absolutely! I feel like a different person! I actually didn't realise how bad it was affecting me in ways that weren't totally obvious until I stopped taking it.
 
Yesterday
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Food
  • Choc baked oats with 20g crunchy peanut butter
  • Chia pudding (25g chia seeds, 250ml almond milk, 15g maple syrup, 1/2 tsp vanilla) with 175g strawberries
  • Black bean fettuccine with Napoli sauce and 50g ham
  • Nice cream with 200g banana, 20g protein, vanilla, 20g peanut butter
  • 45g choc bar, protein pud
  • 6 choc wafers
Totals 1938 calories, 200g carb, 77 fat, 104 protein

Fitbit deficit 163 calories

Yesterdays food ended up in a bunch of snacks. Stomach was super bloated and upset after I had the nice cream at about 1pm and I didn't think I'd eat again but was suddenly starving at around 6 and just ate what I could find... basically snacks husband left around from his days off.

Knees are getting there, they weren't as bad yesterday but I was careful about everything I was doing. Back felt pretty good all day.

Didn't do much yesterday though, just playing Assassins Creed.
 
I reallllly need to get my shit together.

Haven't gained any weight but I have literally existed on junk food for the last week. Actually think the lettuce on my Maccas I had at lunch time was the only veg I've had in that time. I have cracks in the side of my mouth, the roof of my mouth and my throat feel raw. Just from eating so much crunchy/ salty/ sweet/ frozen stuff I guess.

Went to a basketball game with Ash last Sat and my back has been crap since then and it's taking all my mental energy and just existing feels hard right now. I'm guessing it was from sitting, an hour car ride each way and then sitting two hours for the game. I had a remedial massage on Wed (she did Bowen therapy too which was interesting) and saw the osteo today but the really painful spot in the middle of my back is always too inflamed for him to manipulate it, or I'm always too tight everywhere else for him to be able to get me in a good position to do it without hurting my neck/ hip/ shoulder etc. So frustrating. He said if I come back in a month he's going to load my back up with needles (in like an extreme acupuncture type way) and just get it done.

Flying out on Mon night too which is a 1 hour drive, 6 hour flight, then a 2 hour drive. I got Valium from the doctor and I'm thinking I'll need a pretty high dose to function, kinda stressed about that too.

Going to try to just find some kind of normal for the next few days. Going home I know I will be militantly healthy just because that's how my parents are. Last time I went home I got shamed for bringing oats into the house (they are super strict paleo). Maybe I'll use the holidays as time to reset. Will be seeing my mums osteopath while I'm home too and seeking out a myotherapist as I can claim that on my health insurance... it's basically remedial massage (which I've already used up) but with posture analysis and they usually stretch you too. Also thinking of trying float therapy, supposed to be good for chronic pain.

Just got to stay away from the junk food!
 
Hi, Lucy. What a struggle! I hope your trip home goes well, hon. I'm flying on Monday too. Maybe I should have got some Valium! xoxo
 
I really should have started writing again sooner.

Quick rundown of holidays I guess, it was lovely catching up with everyone but food was terrible which is the opposite of what I was expecting. Apparently staying at home is a huge trigger for my bingeing, which shouldn't have been a surprise for me really since the whole time I lived at home I snuck in food and binged in secret most days. When I say bad, I mean BAD bad. I had 3 days in a row of roughly 5000ish calories- there was one day when I ate a pretty respectable 1600ish calories in normal food, then proceeded to eat 2 whole family blocks of chocolate (200g each), a pint of ice cream, and then snacked on peanut M&M's with my husband. I still tracked calories the whole time, I had weekly averages of 2583, then 3110, then 2504, and 2939. It was pretty much a whole month of overeating. It should have worked out to be roughly a 2kg gain, but I did manage a week at maintenance when I got back and weighed in at 61.8kg so only 1kg... but then last week the wheels came off again and I had a huge weekly average at 2871. I wanted to start this week off right and then yesterday I ate 5700 calories. I don't know what is wrong with me. I'm aiming at this stage for the month to just come out at maintenance but I seem to not be caring enough and caving every time I want something. It was time to come back and write stuff out and see reason I guess, got to stop clogging my arteries and let my digestive system have a break.

My back has been much better, I saw a different osteopath on holidays and she had a completely different approach to the osteo I see here. She did a weird spinal decompression thing in each session and acupressure stuff, it was very gentle. I also tried float therapy which I loved and has probably been the one thing I've done that had such a huge impact immediately, had my second float yesterday actually (with a friend and she hated it so much lol). I get stiff spots in my spine that kind of catch and stab me when I go about my day, movement makes them more flexible and can temporarily take the pain away but its pretty much always there and both times floating improved it. It never fully came back after the first time actually. Knees have been shit but I guess I can't have everything.

Also met a new chick from a FB friends group yesterday with another friend who has a lot of similar chronic pain issues to me so it was nice to talk to someone else going through the same thing.

I feel pressure to kind of figure my life out now though, I thought I'd be ready to get a job when I got back but my knees have both been bad on and off since I got back and I have had a few bad back days too. I'm struggling with thinking of what I can do. Think it might be time to continue studying if nothing else, I need to feel like I'm working towards something.
 
Here is a recent pic of me, this was last week on the day I weighed in at 61.8kg.
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I've overeaten since then, enough to roughly add another kg. In only a little over a week Yikes. I know even now it's not bad but its a slippery slope, I really need to get myself back to normal and back into at least maintaining for a while until I feel ready mentally to start losing again. The fluid retention is insane too, the week after I weighed that I weighed again after a bad day and I was 67kg which made my jaw drop. Was 63kg the next day (still retaining fluid too) but wow. Was a bit of a wake up, just not enough to stop me doing it again I guess.
 
Oh, Lucy, I wish you could see yourself as we all can see you. I would love you to see that you have a great figure & don't need to become super thin. Love yourself just as you are. You are lovely, xoxo
 
Lucy is beautiful I have a link removed calculator from which you can lose your weight easily if you want too.n
 
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hi Lucy... great picture... better if you had a fill flash... rtfm?

i'd like to give you my opinion of the BMI chart. just as a point of reference for me, i have not seem my low BMI healthy weight for my height since i was in my teens.

there is a little deception built into the BMI chart. i really think the lowest two healthy columns should be red and not green as is usually indicated. when you are at BMI=20, for most heights, you are only 5-6 lbs away from 19 and below 19 can be a lot more dangerous than being above a 24. your body was made to store/ burn fat, but when there is no stored fuel left, your body will have some hard choices.

good luck.
 
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