☆♡☆Let's beat binging☆♡☆

Ihaveacupcake

Ihaveacupcake

Active member
Hello, I'm minny and I'm here to beat my binging habits.

Last year I lost 20 pounds, 150-130. I did it thru starvation, so of course it didn't last and I gained most of it back. I'm 143.4. I want to get back to a healthy 130.

The problem is, I've been stuck in a binging cycle. Yesterday was actually day 3 of being binge free.

So I'm working on beating my binging while at least maintaining my weight. I eventually want to lost weight again, but I need to fix my relationship with food first.

A little about me:

I'm 35, happily married with 2 little boys. 7 and 8. My youngest just turned 7 yesterday and we had a fun evening celebrating. I enjoyed A&W and cake.

2.5 years ago, I had a mental breakdown, I was hearing voices and having hallucinations. I was admitted to a psychward for a week where I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar. I'm all better now after being on medication since.

I have had anorexic thoughts for too long as I'm ready to be healthy and not let these thoughts rule my life.

I will weigh once a week on Fridays to make sure I'm not gaining.

Plan for today:

Brekky- 1 peice nutella toast
Lunch- Yogurt bowl (2 yogurts, banana and granola)
Snack- Oreo sugar cookie
Supper- Beef stir fry

I don't count calories, I obsess to much over numbers. So far this plan has gotten me 3 days binge free so I'll stick with it.

Also I'll be writing about my day to day tasks and how I felt about it.
 
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Oh also, I deal with a lot of anxiety. I have anxiety over everything. I'm learning to deal with it tho.

Also, I have a lot of identity crisis. Part of me feels like I am a certain person and my hobbies have to reflect it. So I constantly change tv I watch, and books I read. It's such a headache. I swear I have personality disorder.
 
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Welcome Skinny! Nice to see you here.
skinnyminny said:
Hello, I'm minny and I'm here to beat my binging habits.
...
I'm working on beating my binging while at least maintaining my weight. I eventually want to lost weight again, but I need to fix my relationship with food first.
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You sound like a wise woman, I agree not bingeing is more important (to me) than weight loss. I have said things much like what you just said.

We have little in common, except the bingeing problem, but on this forum that is all that matters. There are others here with the same problem. I wish I could tell you the fix, but I can't. I do know that finding others with a similar problem and working together has helped me, I think it will help you as well.

Best of luck girl, just keep posting!
 
Welcome back, Minny. I hope you can overcome your anorexic thoughts & be healthy. I'm glad that medication has really helped you xo
 
So I overate today. On candy, a bigger supper than I should've had and a peice of cake after. I didn't binge, just overate. Still sucks tho.

Mentally I'm doing OK today. Had some anxiety over cooking supper, which I don't know why, I cook everyday, the same meals and yet, I don't want to mess up so I fret about it.

My antipsychotics work for my psychosis (hallucinations) but my antidepressant doesn't work. Depression leaves me feeling tired and lethargic and when I feel down, I want to eat. I feel down most of the time so I'm always hungry, therefore, I binge.

Knowing this, maybe I can stop the binge cycle..I don't know, here's hoping.

Oh also, the cake was delicious 😋
 
skinnyminny said:
So I overate today. On candy, a bigger supper than I should've had and a peice of cake after. I didn't binge, just overate. Still sucks tho.
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No need to dwell on that now, it was yesterday, what matters is what you do today!
skinnyminny said:
Mentally I'm doing OK today. Had some anxiety over cooking supper, which I don't know why, I cook everyday, the same meals and yet, I don't want to mess up so I fret about it.
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Glad you are feeling well, and I would doubt that you "mess up" many meals. If you are like me the messing up comes in the eating...
skinnyminny said:
My antipsychotics work for my psychosis (hallucinations) but my antidepressant doesn't work. Depression leaves me feeling tired and lethargic and when I feel down, I want to eat. I feel down most of the time so I'm always hungry, therefore, I binge.
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That maybe a useful insight. I know almost nothing about the drugs you are taking or your conditions... except for bingeing, I am expert in that.
skinnyminny said:
Knowing this, maybe I can stop the binge cycle..I don't know, here's hoping.
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I hope so, but for me it's a process, no one silver bullet, but working on it helps.
skinnyminny said:
Oh also, the cake was delicious 😋
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Save me some!
 
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So it's going to be a busy weekend. The fair is in town so we are going today. I'm excited bc I love seeing my kids have fun. Being excited is a new feeling for me, since I mostly feel anxious.

I'll be eating a snack there, probably mini donuts. But it's ok, this is supposed to be a lifestyle and I want to join in on the fun.

Tomorrow we have pancake breakfast and church at the fair. Should be fun. I normally stress when there is no kids ministry (since church is at the fair, there won't be) because my kids have trouble sitting still, but they proved to me the other week that they can sit and behave. So I'm feeling OK about tomorrow.

But for now, I gotta feed my kids, and get my chores done.

Plan for today:
Brekky- Nutella toast
Lunch- Bowl of cereal
Snack- Mini donuts
Supper- Pizza
 
I started to have anorexic thoughts and thought about skipping lunch bc of the mini donuts but then I started to feel bingy and realized I don't want these thoughts. So I had a bowl of cereal for lunch (cereal is my fav food). I'll be walking around lots to burn off the mini donuts anyway. So crisis averted.
 
So the fair was fun. The kids enjoyed themselves a lot. I got my mini donuts...which weren't as good as I remember. Then I ate some fries with gravy and had some of my sons ice cream (rather than getting my own). I did not feel bingy and stopped when I had enough.

Tomorrow we have a pancake breakfast at the fair then church there after.
 
So tomorrow will be a busy day!
1st- 8am, pancake breakfast
2nd- 10am- church
3rd- 2pm- inside out 2 movie (BUT IM SO EXCITED!)
4th- after movie, grocery shopping
😮‍💨

I've been battling anorexic thoughts all day and feeling guilty for letting loose a little today.

But tomorrow is a new day. I'll enjoy pancakes (that I didn't have to cook!), then have my yogurt bowl for lunch. No snacks at the movie tho, just a diet coke.

I ate more than I should've today but I'm giving myself a pass bc it was the fair and my family had a great time.

I know I can beat my binging! I just realized a stopped taking sugar in my coffee a week ago and am fine without it. If I can do that, I can beat my binging!
 
Thanks for all the comments! 🙂

So today will be a busy day. I'm excited but nervous at the same time. I'm nervous if my kids will sit through church service today. They normally have kids ministry but we have church at the fair today so my kids have to sit through the service. They are old enough to listen and sit quietly but I'm nervous all the same.

Most things in life give me anxiety, but I've been practicing mindfulness and being in and enjoying experiencing life and living in the moment. It helps.

So onto my meals today. The plan is:
Brekky- Pancakes at the fair!
Lunch- Bowl of cereal (I'm out of bananas for my yogurt bowl)
Snack- TBD
Supper- Shaved steak sandwich and veggies

Then this afternoon we are going to see Inside out 2! I'm excited for that! Then grocery shopping. Busy busy day, but as long as I keep being present, I'll be ok, especially with God's help.
 
So the pancake brekky was so good. I had 3 large pancakes 🤷‍♀️ I'll have a late lunch at 1 (bowl of cereal), diet coke at the movie, then supper.

No anorexic thoughts today so far and it's so freeing! I don't feel any guilt over brekky and I feel strong to manage any binge urges I may have later.

I'm so excited for the movie!

One thing I'm noticing lately is I'm feeling positive feelings, joy, humor, love. Since I've been on my meds, I have felt either numb or negative feelings. It's so freeing to laugh again, and find joy in things again. I thought I'd feel numb forever, but I hoped and prayed that wasn't the case, and God is answering my plea's.
 
I binged...bad. I'm upset with myself bc the extra pancake was supposed to be my treat today.

I'm having anorexic thoughts. Like "Be disgusted with yourself" "starve yourself tomorrow" "fat pig"

I'm struggling mentally right now, I'm trembling from anxiety. But I know it will be ok. I will not starve tomorrow but instead go back to my plan.

Brekky- Nutella toast (1 peice)
Lunch- Medium bowl of cereal (my fav food!)
Snack- Oreo sugar cookie or 2 small cookies (my fav treat)
Supper- It varies

As well as 4 cups of coffee with measured cream.

I. Will. Beat. This. Binging. Habit
 
Hi skinnyminny
Oh girl, sometimes it can be so hard to avoid binging for just 1 day!
Do your impulses get worse as the day wears on? I am usually fine in the mornings and afternoons and then dinner seems to be one continuous meal until bed time. Do you notice a pattern?
 
Ok, I am 145.2. Eek. I will continue to weigh every Tuesdays from now on. I'm just looking for any weight loss. .5 lbs a week even.

So I'll be sticking to my plan today even tho I'm still having anorexic thoughts. But, it's a little easier to deal with since I'm hungry and want to have brekky soon lol.
 
Fiera said:
Hi skinnyminny
Oh girl, sometimes it can be so hard to avoid binging for just 1 day!
Do your impulses get worse as the day wears on? I am usually fine in the mornings and afternoons and then dinner seems to be one continuous meal until bed time. Do you notice a pattern?
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Yes they do, around Snack time in the afternoon I get really strong snacking urges. Honestly I think it's boredom. I do get hungry in the morning but can easily skip breakfast cuz I'm busy till 10. That's when I have my lunch bc once I'm done my morning routine, I get hungry and bc I love food so much, I get binge urges. I just have to learn to resist it, I'm hoping after a while, the urges will go away.

I'm sorry you struggle too, binging is the worst!
 
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