Kim's Diary

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Day 30

How to stop feeling “out of control” around food?

Recently I have found myself frequently thinking about sweets. Especially when I weighted myself after 30 diet days and got a good result, I am so happy, my mind sets free, and the next days after I can’t control what I eat. Then I rewarded for myself a wonderful meal after a long time diet. Well, then it comes to food, I can’t stop. It’s not only hard to lose weight but also difficult to maintain my current weight right now.

I am busy single mom with an active boy. Snacks, juice, ice cream, pudding are always surrounding me. And overeating is something I’ve always struggled with. I really can FEEL when I am getting full, but the ability to stop has seemed out of reach for me. What so wrong with me that I couldn’t stop at the point? So ashamed!

I diet, my cravings feel out of control, end up overeating, feel heavy waves of guilt, then find myself on another diet soon. Nasty circle.
 
Don´t feel guilty, dieting really IS hard. Tru just posted a write-up of an excellent article explaining (among other things) WHY it´s so hard to stick with a diet: https://weight-loss.fitness.com/threads/metabolic-adaption.105236/ Don´t beat yourself up, please, that´s never helped anyone.
 
Guilt is the most over used/useless emotion we can heap on ourselves.
It's also pretty unproductive.

I found that I really have to stay present while I'm eating.
If I'm mindlessly eating (eating on the run, eating in front of the TV) etc, means I won't stop when I want to.
 
Have you ever felt down when you are in diet?

I go out, have “fun” and stay busy because that’s what others tell me to do to have a productive and happy life. But is that weird when I am at the pub, drink mineral water when all my friends drink wine, cocktail or something else? When I do catch a moment of solitude after all my outing, I feel exhausted.

Sometimes, going on diet makes me feel strangely empty, or may be only me do feel empty, not because of being on diet, which makes no sense because I just did a bunch of social activities that were supposed to make me feel fulfilled. Not knowing the true cause of this feeling. But my solution was cooking.

When I am feeling down, take care of myself seems to be the good solution. Personally, my favorite self-care is cooking beautiful meals for myself. I used to eat ice cream every night. It made me happy. But sadly, with this diet plan, I even can not eat them. So, just taking a shower, then go to bed.
 
Could it be that you used to use the joy of delicious food to plaster over/hide that feeling of emptiness? I think it´s quite normal to feel a little weird when you can´t join in social activities as fully as you´re used to, simply because we often use food and drink as the hook we hang our social activities on. But eating ice cream every night to feel happy kind of sounds like you may not be quite fulfilled by your life as it as right now, regardless of your weight. Are there other things you can think of that would give you fulfillment, other than food/alcohol? Maybe go for a walk in a park, dance, paint, write a story, volunteer in a soup kitchen, meditate, talk to an elderly relative who´d enjoy the extra social interaction?
 
Kim said:
I diet, my cravings feel out of control, end up overeating, feel heavy waves of guilt, then find myself on another diet soon. Nasty circle.
Click to expand...

This is exactly the reason why I would never suggest a "diet." They don't work! This is the cycle that many people end up in for years and years. Fad diets don't work in the long run (and don't work for most people in the first place) because they don't teach people anything about healthy eating or having a healthy relationship with food. In fact, they create disordered eating.

Restricting yourself from certain foods or food groups entirely will just create cravings, then when you do eat those things that you told yourself you shouldn't eat, you feel guilty... and on and on.

The best thing that you can do is create small changes that you can maintain long term. You said you used to eat ice cream every day? Maybe start there... instead of telling yourself you can't have ice cream at all, give yourself a goal where you know you can have it, just not everyday. Maybe once per week? So you know you will be able to have it, but that it's not an everyday thing. Do that for a couple of weeks, then make another change (like sorting out a healthy breakfast - something filling and healthy so you're not starving an hour later! This gives you time to start creating habits that will last, while avoiding so many cravings and guilt.
 
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