Journey to Knowing

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Up one pound today but the morning isn't over. Still tired. Gonna plan on walking after work. Nothing happening today really so ot may be a long day.
 
Funny how if I make myself eat, the feeling that I'll die if I take a bite goes away pretty quickly . With the way I was feeling, i was considering fasting all day. But I finally cooked up some breakfast and ate. It was slow going but I feel a lot better. Two more meals to go. I've basically moved my 8 hours of eating back to 6 over the past weeks. I'm physically exhausted which may be more perimenopause and hormone fluctuations. Who knows. All I really know is that sometime in the next 3 weeks I'll pass 249.9 which is my lowest weight in ten years. And I'll be able to wear the cool clothes in my closet. Just got to keep going. One minute at a time. 29lbs in 12 weeks with a 17 day plateau in there. Pretty damn impressive for not actually dieting but eating in a way I can sustain over a lifetime. Real change.
 
I so tried to sleep late! But my 15lb boy cat Tristen decided I was his personal trampoline. After 3 hours I got up. Since I wasn't feeling like eating would kill me, I allowed myself not to eat until I was ready. I ate three things - all comfort food....a small Goldie cookie, a fried chicken thigh, and cup of mac & cheese, plus a kombucha. Total cost me ten bucks but well worth it. And my macros look amazingly good and I'm over 1,000 calories but well below my max. Good eating day. I was an ounce lower than yesterday's weighin. Not holding out much hope for my official weighin tomorrow. But I'm at least down a little after a not-perfect-week.
 
Just ran all the numbers. One day I went over my mac but two days I was just under so it averaged to a pretty low daily intake. Fat was higher than since I started recording outside of the app but still well within limits. Sugar and sodium were actually low. So I've no idea how this week will show tomorrow on the scale. I didn't get my walking in bc a major downpour had me walking through a parking lot stream above my ankles and I didn't want to walk with wet feet if I didn't need to. I bought a few more things and should have everything I need for the week. If so, I've $40 surplus. In a week I'll have enough for tristen to get a pain treatment and pay a doctor bill. Hoping to add in monthly (to eventually be weekly) sauna sessions and to join the ymca.
 
Up to 260.7 this morning. Not unexpected since I didn't walk yesterday. Guessing my genetic mutation excuse for no exercise isn't going to work anymore. I know I can't do all out aerobic but looks like I need gentle to moderate stuff several days during the week. At least 3k average daily steps at minimum. Damnit. My energy is low but hopefully if I push through my energy will improve. Usually doesn't work that way but maybe this time.

Made chocolate cinnamon strawberry pancakes for breakfast. Then turkey tacos at lunch. Supper is cabbage soup with an orange.

When my cat moves off my lap I'll get dressed and go walk at the mall.
 
Got in 6,000+ steps. Nothing overly major but had a nice gentle sweat going. The mall I was at is closing soon. Will need to find a new indoor place.
 
Thinking of starting a vlog about this journey. No expectations that anyone would ever watch or care but I like the idea of having a video diary of sorts. And I found some damn cool editing software that would be fun to play with. Have an idea for the intro animation. Just got to make it happen. Another fun challenge.
 
Had to eat a snickers to get into the 1,000s. Oh well. Not ideal but that 1k mark is crucial. Made it to work midday. Have training in the morning. Gotta be online by 830. Got my meals planned out for tomorrow. Goal is to keep sugar and carbs low for the rest of the week and to not go over fats and sodium. Doubt I'll sleep well tonight.
 
Not taking the easy way out is quite a character building endeavor. Great lessons being learned.

I think I've come up with a fun, liveable floorplan for the house I'll have built in eight years. It's only 1,100sqft. Only one bedroom and a small office. Huge kitchen. And sliding glass walls to open up the living area to the outside. I like it very much. This does have something to do with weight loss because I never thought it was actually possible but I'm beginning to believe it is. And I'm planning the homestead based on the assumption I will be able to move and do. Makes me happy to think about. Even have butterfly and herb gardens on one patio. Thinking meadow fits this home more than a mountain. And I'll plant a patch of deer favorite plants so they will leave my stuff alone. I think I'm finding hope again.
 
Mammogram tomorrow. Last one blistered me and I haven't been back in years. My new primary said it makes sense with the genetic mutation that the cells might react that way. That made me feel better to be heard. I had a great eating day until I realized the appointment is tomorrow. Now I can't sleep and feel like i'm starving. I think I may go ahead and eat breakfast now at 1am and then do a 30 hour fast. That'll get me back on track. And it plays into how I'll feel tomorrow.

I set up my DVD player today so I'll start on my plus size yoga DVD tomorrow. It's an easy enough routine I can do it every day. And now that I understand not to force my foot, I'll do better.
 
CrowFeather said:
Mammogram tomorrow. Last one blistered me and I haven't been back in years. My new primary said it makes sense with the genetic mutation that the cells might react that way. That made me feel better to be heard. I had a great eating day until I realized the appointment is tomorrow. Now I can't sleep and feel like i'm starving. I think I may go ahead and eat breakfast now at 1am and then do a 30 hour fast. That'll get me back on track. And it plays into how I'll feel tomorrow.

I set up my DVD player today so I'll start on my plus size yoga DVD tomorrow. It's an easy enough routine I can do it every day. And now that I understand not to force my foot, I'll do better.
Click to expand...

oh God, good luck, be kind xxx
 
Things went fine. Had a no nonsense tech from Jersey. I deal much better with directness than southern sugary sweetness. I liked this hospital so much better. And no blisters. Just deep heat and redness.

Doing fine on the fast. I'm having to create very complicated reports today. My poor manager heard an earful on how what was being asked made no sense. We finally realized I didn't know a term being used has another meaning in the logistics area. Problem solved. Now I'm collecting all the data.

Was asked to go out for supper. I declined. Not eating today and no money.

Forgot to weigh this morning so got to do that tonight. Don't like weighing st different times.
 
25 hour fast. Pretty easy with the advice about magnesium, potassium and sodium I got. Probably could have made a 35 hours but I wanted to go back to sleep and that was only happening with something in my stomach. So a little jerky, handful of blackberries and a kombucha. Hopefully that translates into four more hours of sleep. I may try this water fast once a week if for nothing more than to save money.
 
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