Fiera
Well-known member
Hi.
I hope that this journal will help me get clear and help me retake control of my life. Somehow I have given up trying...trying to live, trying to get healthy, trying to break the binge eating habits. It has been a slow upward progression over the years, but if I exercise daily - walk 3 miles or equivalent - I don't gain weight and I eat healthier. I am seeing a pattern in my adult life, as I have been here once before...and lost 80 pounds in one year through diet and exercise. I took up running as a hobby, along with dancing and traveling, and along with calorie management, the pounds dropped off. But gradually I have regained and then I really got out of control when I stopped exercising about a year and a half ago. Today I am a couch potato. Ouch. That hurts to acknowledge.
Exercising is more challenging now, as my bones and muscles are a decade older and won't tolerate running. But, I do have other options, and I have got to start somewhere. So walking will be my go-to.
Early 50's, female, 5'2", SW 177.6.
Short term goal to get under 170.
My max healthy weight is around 138. But I really can't think that far ahead. I need achievable goals.
At 1.5 pounds per week, it should take around 5 weeks if I do all the things that work for me. Winter Solstice, my favorite day of the year, would be a great target for this symbolic first goal achievement. But we will see. I need to be realistic. I just started medication for anxiety/depression which should help.
I also need to hold the line with the boyfriend on what food gets brought into the house. It was really since I started letting him stay here most of the time that I started bringing/allowing snack foods in the house. My will power is weak, especially in the evenings. But he hasn't been over as much recently since his job closed. I find the space in my house and life to be a blessing and an opportunity to really look at how I have been living and make some ch-ch-ch-changes.
I want to remind myself how much better my life was when I was in shape and food was not ruling my existence. How much easier it was to pack for a trip when I knew things would fit. How much easier it was to do household chores or have an adventure day. How much time I saved in small increments because I shopped less, did fewer dishes, spent less time in the kitchen. And how liberating it felt to free myself from the physically oppressive burden of layers of fat.
Do I *want* to do the hard work that is involved? Am I committed? Frankly, I can't promise myself anything. But if I can start showing up here and being accountable, it can be the spark that I need to get the fire burning again. I am too young to give up on living a vibrant life. I have a lot of problems to solve for sure. But it is clearly time to focus on myself and my health as a top priority. Enough is enough!
I hope that this journal will help me get clear and help me retake control of my life. Somehow I have given up trying...trying to live, trying to get healthy, trying to break the binge eating habits. It has been a slow upward progression over the years, but if I exercise daily - walk 3 miles or equivalent - I don't gain weight and I eat healthier. I am seeing a pattern in my adult life, as I have been here once before...and lost 80 pounds in one year through diet and exercise. I took up running as a hobby, along with dancing and traveling, and along with calorie management, the pounds dropped off. But gradually I have regained and then I really got out of control when I stopped exercising about a year and a half ago. Today I am a couch potato. Ouch. That hurts to acknowledge.
Exercising is more challenging now, as my bones and muscles are a decade older and won't tolerate running. But, I do have other options, and I have got to start somewhere. So walking will be my go-to.
Early 50's, female, 5'2", SW 177.6.
Short term goal to get under 170.
My max healthy weight is around 138. But I really can't think that far ahead. I need achievable goals.
At 1.5 pounds per week, it should take around 5 weeks if I do all the things that work for me. Winter Solstice, my favorite day of the year, would be a great target for this symbolic first goal achievement. But we will see. I need to be realistic. I just started medication for anxiety/depression which should help.
I also need to hold the line with the boyfriend on what food gets brought into the house. It was really since I started letting him stay here most of the time that I started bringing/allowing snack foods in the house. My will power is weak, especially in the evenings. But he hasn't been over as much recently since his job closed. I find the space in my house and life to be a blessing and an opportunity to really look at how I have been living and make some ch-ch-ch-changes.
I want to remind myself how much better my life was when I was in shape and food was not ruling my existence. How much easier it was to pack for a trip when I knew things would fit. How much easier it was to do household chores or have an adventure day. How much time I saved in small increments because I shopped less, did fewer dishes, spent less time in the kitchen. And how liberating it felt to free myself from the physically oppressive burden of layers of fat.
Do I *want* to do the hard work that is involved? Am I committed? Frankly, I can't promise myself anything. But if I can start showing up here and being accountable, it can be the spark that I need to get the fire burning again. I am too young to give up on living a vibrant life. I have a lot of problems to solve for sure. But it is clearly time to focus on myself and my health as a top priority. Enough is enough!
Hope that you had a good day!
