Whats wrong with Simmons shorts?
Don't be that guy..
- Thread starter Hoss
- Start date
man I do a cardio class with my girlfirend once a week......
I wonder is that what the other girls in the class this of me.......
I wonder is that what the other girls in the class this of me.......
Haha that is awesome.
Actually if you were single it would probably work wonders on your love life.
Actually if you were single it would probably work wonders on your love life.
I doubt it.
I work out at home now, but I worked out in gyms for years. Everything on that list brings back some memories.
How about the older guy that walks around the locker room combing his hair, putting on deodorant etc. naked?
..or the guy that vocally encourages himself before a set? "Come on man, you can do it!" There was one guy I remember that would berate himself "Come on bitch, 8 of these!!" LOL, he was a pretty big dude though
How about the older guy that walks around the locker room combing his hair, putting on deodorant etc. naked?
..or the guy that vocally encourages himself before a set? "Come on man, you can do it!" There was one guy I remember that would berate himself "Come on bitch, 8 of these!!" LOL, he was a pretty big dude though
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That was a sweet read. Like someone else already said, i too have some of those charachteristics. It was funny though, because as i was reading it i was tryna picture the person at my gym that fits each bill. There's only about 10 people that use the weights room at my gym so that was kinda struggle though.
HEY! My kind of dude! I want to train with him, he could possibly ROCK as a partner.....
Come on bitch 8 of these.....Love it.....
Chillen
That one annoys me the most. Come on. just take your shower and put on your clothes. It mostly older guys, but they just stand around naked talking about vacations and plans for the weekend, etc.. Just put on some clothes.
The Inflator
You know this guy....he walks around with his stomach sucked-in and chest protruding out with his muscles all tense....but he's trying his best to pretend he's not ampin' it up......as if we all think he's really that buff and he's not putting on a show for all to see. He's most inflated when near or around woman.
Mrs. I dress like a skank but don't want the attention
Ah yes...the girl with short shorts so tight you can see a pimple under the fabric. Her top is skimpy and she put together her whole outfit to look center-fold HOT....YET, she pretends she doesn't want the attention and pretends to be offended by it. Hey, she's just there for the workout.
Little Ms Muffin-top
Some woman just can't grasp the idea of looking in the mirror before they hit the gym and evaluating if they can pull it off. Hint: if you wear tight strethchy pants and have fat around your torso, your pants will likely cut into your fat and result in a big rolling flab of skin protruding just above the pants. It hurts the eyes. One day you might lose enough weight and get in shape to pull 'em off....but that day is not today.
Mr. Eastwood
"Go ahead, make my day". Mr Eastwood walks around with a presumtive chip on his shoulder: he's bad-ass, buff and if you so much as look at him wrong, he'll liquidate you on the spot. He doesn't really want to fight, he just wants everyone to know he's bad-to-the-bone hardcore badass and if it came down to it he'll wipe the floor with you. Don't you dare be eye'in him for more then 2 seconds....don't you know he's psycho???
Mr. Dangle Car Chain
aka Mr. Shirt, Mr. Hat or whatever he wants to use to advertise that he has a BMW, Porsche or the quinessential grand-daddy midlife Corvette car. Everyone needs to know he has this car...I say "has" because he probably leases it instead of making his child-support payments.
Jack Lalaine
Look at me everyone....I'm old, my tattoo's are faded to hell and my skin is like a sack of potato's....but I'm still walking around in a muscle shirt and can even muster a chip on my shoulder. Heck, I can teach you kids a lesson or two....if I ever get my ass off the seat of this machine.
The Seat Warmer
75% his time spent at the gym is sitting on the cushion recovering.
You know this guy....he walks around with his stomach sucked-in and chest protruding out with his muscles all tense....but he's trying his best to pretend he's not ampin' it up......as if we all think he's really that buff and he's not putting on a show for all to see. He's most inflated when near or around woman.
Mrs. I dress like a skank but don't want the attention
Ah yes...the girl with short shorts so tight you can see a pimple under the fabric. Her top is skimpy and she put together her whole outfit to look center-fold HOT....YET, she pretends she doesn't want the attention and pretends to be offended by it. Hey, she's just there for the workout.
Little Ms Muffin-top
Some woman just can't grasp the idea of looking in the mirror before they hit the gym and evaluating if they can pull it off. Hint: if you wear tight strethchy pants and have fat around your torso, your pants will likely cut into your fat and result in a big rolling flab of skin protruding just above the pants. It hurts the eyes. One day you might lose enough weight and get in shape to pull 'em off....but that day is not today.
Mr. Eastwood
"Go ahead, make my day". Mr Eastwood walks around with a presumtive chip on his shoulder: he's bad-ass, buff and if you so much as look at him wrong, he'll liquidate you on the spot. He doesn't really want to fight, he just wants everyone to know he's bad-to-the-bone hardcore badass and if it came down to it he'll wipe the floor with you. Don't you dare be eye'in him for more then 2 seconds....don't you know he's psycho???
Mr. Dangle Car Chain
aka Mr. Shirt, Mr. Hat or whatever he wants to use to advertise that he has a BMW, Porsche or the quinessential grand-daddy midlife Corvette car. Everyone needs to know he has this car...I say "has" because he probably leases it instead of making his child-support payments.
Jack Lalaine
Look at me everyone....I'm old, my tattoo's are faded to hell and my skin is like a sack of potato's....but I'm still walking around in a muscle shirt and can even muster a chip on my shoulder. Heck, I can teach you kids a lesson or two....if I ever get my ass off the seat of this machine.
The Seat Warmer
75% his time spent at the gym is sitting on the cushion recovering.
So have I. We've got quite a few benches, but one evening it was particularly busy, and they were all being used for benching, DB work, etc. All except one -- the flat/incline bench, which was OK with me because I wanted to do incline chest presses. But this particular bench was actually being used to read a book. Yes, this guy was sitting on the bench reading a frickin' book. I stood there with DBs in hand for about 2 minutes just staring at him. He was oblivious (must have been a really good book). Eventually I asked if he wouldn't mind moving to the sofa at the front of the gym to read because I actually wanted to use the bench.
His reply? "Oh yeah, I'm just sitting here reading. It looks like you probably want to work out what with the dumbbells and everything." Right dumba$$. That's why I'm in the gym.
Then there are the people in gyms who carry their gear around in a duffle bag. Everywhere they go, their duffle bag goes with them. It doesn't matter if it's in the way of the dumbbell rack or anything else in the gym.
The worst gym users are the ones who use the cardio equipment, sweat like a pig, leave pools of sweat all over the equipment/floor, and don't wipe up afterwards. As if I want to use a bike covered in some stinky person's sweat.
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soooo funny......so true!!!!
Since we're now including woman in this....perhaps we should change the name of the thread to "Don't be that tool"
Mr. You can't do this without me Trainer-dude
He's that new trainer the gym just hired. He has his UnderArmour shirt on and he's walking around being friendly....but his agenda is to convince you that machines won't produce results and only he can lead you on the path to true muscular gains & progress. Kinda funny that he does NO cardio and he's smaller then you.
The Convict
Homie has his bandana on and his tat's are flairing. Like Mr. Eastwood, you don't wanna look at him; don't even go there. He won't beat your ass, he'll just put a cap in it. He's lost without his entourage, so look for a surrounding posse and maybe even a ho-cake bringing up the hinges. If you talk to them, they'll look at you like your a freak, BUT the next time they see you, they'll give you that friendly nod....just like that, you're tight with the homies!
The Rocker
He's got his earphones jammed into his head and he's rockin' out to the some hardcore tunes...his head is shaking, his air-guitar occassionaly being strummed....he's Goose & Maverick on the deck of the aircraft carrier about to go in to battle in their jet...his world is rockin'-out. But to the rest of the world he just looks like some moron with nervous disorder. Oh please, don't let him sing too.
The Clock Watcher
Whoppner at 5pm, definitely 5pm....must leave the gym at an EXACT time, he'll spend half his time checking the clock, convinced he can still get-in a good workout, he'll leave half-way through his routine: his compulsive need to worship the chronological Gods stole his time!
The Goddess
She's perfect. Dressed atractive but not over the top. Her form perfect, her execution flawless. Was she a former athletic competitor? How does she move so gracefully...exerting herself in such an intense manner and yet not perspiring or showing weakness. Like a machine from the future she moves with grace and style, a ray of sunshine coupled with pure energy. You aren't worthy of talking to her, and down deep you don't want to....you just wanna hold her in reverence and embrace the excellence that exudes from her very being. Then some ugly-ass goofball weakling dufus guy walks up and hugs & kisses her....your world shatters as you come to terms with the cruel and unfair reality we live in.
Mr. You can't do this without me Trainer-dude
He's that new trainer the gym just hired. He has his UnderArmour shirt on and he's walking around being friendly....but his agenda is to convince you that machines won't produce results and only he can lead you on the path to true muscular gains & progress. Kinda funny that he does NO cardio and he's smaller then you.
The Convict
Homie has his bandana on and his tat's are flairing. Like Mr. Eastwood, you don't wanna look at him; don't even go there. He won't beat your ass, he'll just put a cap in it. He's lost without his entourage, so look for a surrounding posse and maybe even a ho-cake bringing up the hinges. If you talk to them, they'll look at you like your a freak, BUT the next time they see you, they'll give you that friendly nod....just like that, you're tight with the homies!
The Rocker
He's got his earphones jammed into his head and he's rockin' out to the some hardcore tunes...his head is shaking, his air-guitar occassionaly being strummed....he's Goose & Maverick on the deck of the aircraft carrier about to go in to battle in their jet...his world is rockin'-out. But to the rest of the world he just looks like some moron with nervous disorder. Oh please, don't let him sing too.
The Clock Watcher
Whoppner at 5pm, definitely 5pm....must leave the gym at an EXACT time, he'll spend half his time checking the clock, convinced he can still get-in a good workout, he'll leave half-way through his routine: his compulsive need to worship the chronological Gods stole his time!
The Goddess
She's perfect. Dressed atractive but not over the top. Her form perfect, her execution flawless. Was she a former athletic competitor? How does she move so gracefully...exerting herself in such an intense manner and yet not perspiring or showing weakness. Like a machine from the future she moves with grace and style, a ray of sunshine coupled with pure energy. You aren't worthy of talking to her, and down deep you don't want to....you just wanna hold her in reverence and embrace the excellence that exudes from her very being. Then some ugly-ass goofball weakling dufus guy walks up and hugs & kisses her....your world shatters as you come to terms with the cruel and unfair reality we live in.
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I'm told that I look like that, but I'm really not, I'm just a bit ugly looking
, when people do speak to me I'm actually a very friendly, helpful and polite personI'm told that I look like that, but I'm really not, I'm just a bit ugly looking
Dude.....I said "Eastwood".....not Steven Seagal.
You have to ask yourself a question; do ya feel lucky today? Well, do ya??
We NEED to revive this thread!!! It is just too funny.
THE PERFUME WOMEN
You guys / gals all know them. You can smell them from the parking lot and smell the perfume they leave behind after they are done working out.
COUGARS
Same note as guys. These are older women coming into the gym and treating young men as meat.
It's 2008 and almost 2009, lets bring this thread back and update it!!!!
THE PERFUME WOMEN
You guys / gals all know them. You can smell them from the parking lot and smell the perfume they leave behind after they are done working out.
COUGARS
Same note as guys. These are older women coming into the gym and treating young men as meat.
It's 2008 and almost 2009, lets bring this thread back and update it!!!!