Sorry for not responding to this earlier, I'm kind of stressed out at the moment....anyway....
Hmm...no, not really. Actually, on the contrary. I am not feeling as if I am not getting enough to eat, I usually feel as if I am having too much and struggle to keep my calories at a sensible level. I don't want to eat, and there were days where I didn't even make it to 800 calories. That is why I added the cheat day with higher calories, in the hopes of reassuring my body that I have no intentions of starving myself.
Also, to me food has nothing to do with pleasure. Most of the time when I eat, I do something else while I'm eating. Reading, posting, being on the phone. To me, food is not a treat or pleasure, it's a necessity, and especially recently, one that I don't particularly enjoy. I know I need a certain amount of calories a day to make sure that I don't mess up my metabolism, so I do eat and try to make healthy food choices, but I don't enjoy it. I rarely get hungry anymore, so sometimes my husband actually has to point out to me that I haven't eaten anything yet, and it's 4 pm or something.
DOn't get me wrong, there are foods I like and enjoy, but they are getting rare, and I am not focused on that anymore. If I get them, fine, if not, fine as well. I used to be hooked on McDonalds, would eat 5 or more burgers per day. Now I go in there to get food for the rest of the family, and the mere smell makes me feel sick.
As for the binging - it's pretty easy really. Looking back at the way I used to eat I just can't understand how I could eat until I felt sick and was in pain, and then go on and stuff a little bit more into my face. It seems so far away, even though that was me only 11 months ago. Weird. But no, it's not difficult. Because if there is really something I crave, I eat it, and then work it into my daily allowance. Since I am usually under my calories, it's easy.
Like yesterday...I bought some chocolate muffins and brought them home, and at first I didn't care, but in the afternoon, I wanted one. I went and had it, and it tasted okay, but not as good as I expected. (On a side note, did anybody notice their tastes changing during their diet? Things I loved suddenly seem way too sweet for me and stuff....weird!). I ate about 3/4 of it, then threw the rest out, because I felt full. I could have eaten the whole thing, and 11 months ago, I would have, and then I would have gone and eaten the other three in the box as well. Nowadays I get my 'fix', so to speak, and that's that. And even with the muffin, I just barely made it to 1500 calories.
I just seem to have gone from one extreme to the other....finding a happy medium seems to be the biggest problem....
San, are you feeling that you are not getting enough to eat on days except Saturday? or holding out for your treat day? If so, consider having a "pleasure eat" daily and make it only 10% of the food you eat, 90% of the time eat for fuel. Then you can take "worry" out of the equation. In fact, take worry out of your eating experience altogether--if you make-up your mind to eat something, eat it and enjoy EVERY bite. If you really don't want it, skip it. Either way, you win b/c you are giving yourself what you want.
Mindful eating is a great practice (especially for eating your "pleasure eats"). You slow down your bites so you really suck the marrow out of your eating experience, for example: next time you sit down to a meal have a paper and pen with you, take one bite and really notice how the food tastes and feels in your mouth. Chew slowly, write down every detail of the bite (it's tedious, but so worth it). Then take another bite, write down the details . . .repeat the process until you no longer enjoy the food or you are physically satisfied. You will notice that your enjoyment of the food diminishes with each subsequent bite (the first bite is THE best!) I am always amazed at the impact this practice has on people. One of my clients told me she thought if she were allowed to eat her favorite food until she was satisfied or stopped enjoying the food, she would never stop eating. She took one bite of her pleasure food (seasoned fries from her fave restaurant) and paid focused attention to her experience and discovered she didn't even like it! She no longer binges on seasoned fries, not because she "can't" eat them but because she honestly doesn't "want" to. This practice also lets you enjoy foods you truly love without hoarding/bingeing on it. When you know your favorite things (not just food, btw) are abundant and there is enough good stuff for YOU, you feel the need to overeat less and less, because you trust it will be there for you whenever you want it--if you want it. Obviously, this is not necessarily practical for every meal, but try this exercise for a few meals this week. It is super powerful and enlightening.
Great news, btw, that you are no longer binge eating . . . does it feel like a struggle not to, or is it pretty effortless for you at this point?
**you guys are are like a breath of fresh air**
