Well, heres an update....
things are....well they just are. Got a call, yeah another one, my sister is in the hospital now, she was getting pain in her leg, turned out she had a blood clot and not just in her leg, also in her lung. So she is in there until they figure out why (she is only 4 years older than me). Guess we are lucky it didn't make it to her heart, that is what got my dad.
As for my friend, her son was dx'ed with CDKL5. It is related to Retts syndrome. If you know anything about Retts syndrome, it is called a girls disorder because boys usually don't survive- they are either still born, or they die soon after birth.
This is very disconcerning. It is seperate from the brain surgery issue. [note: edited to add: the brain issue I have been speaking of is called Chiari malformation.]
I spoke with her today and she is hanging in there. I call it "survival mode" as she is not able to express her feelings because she is so focused on "what has to be done". I actually think that is better for her now.
My MIL is doing better, but still hospitalized.