Death does not become me......

NoLoveLost

NoLoveLost

1
and is one of the reasons why I get stressed these days. I get stressed, I workout. It helps....really.

But there is just too much going on lately. My MIL is ill and in the hospital. (I mentioned her once in another thread- never took care of her health and now is in peril) She is 74 and just got a dx of myasthenia gravis. She is in the hospital (she stopped breathing) is on a ventilator and the prognosis is she will slowly deteriorate. *sigh*

I just found this out 2 days ago.

But today.......

Today, a mother in my kids class (a friend) called me. She has a son who has been having seizures that progressively been getting worse...life threatening. His health has declined so much that he is medically unstable and hasn't attended school all year. He's flat lined 3 times in the last 4 months. He's 12.

She called today to tell me the doctors have done everything for him, and now they are going to operate. Brain surgery. They found that his brain has dropped, and is causing something similar to a hernia and hydrocephalus, an accumulation of fluid in and around the brain and want to put a drainage tube in. This won't fix the problem, it only works as a temporary measure. His mom is so strong too. I can hear it in her voice, she is preparing herself..........He's only 12.

I know I come on here joking, and It makes me laugh to read the creative posts, but today....today I haven't been able to stop crying.....I just feel sick with sorrow.....

I'm sorry to dump this here, but I needed to get it out......
 
I'm so sorry to hear about all of this. Your mother in law and that young boy will be in my thoughts...

I wish the best for both of them.
 
spicypumpkin said:
I'm so sorry to hear about all of this. Your mother in law and that young boy will be in my thoughts...

I wish the best for both of them.
Click to expand...

Thanks spicy :)

My MIL isn't surprising even though it is sad and even though we didn't always agree were friends....

But my heart just breaks for my friend and her son. It's been so difficult for them and he is her only son, and she is a single mom.

Thanks for your thoughts, they will both need it ...

take care,
Diane
 
That is definitely not good news.

I definitely feel sadness for the other mother, however at least their is a procedure to help him. This will prepare him to be strong in life. :)
 
Diane, very sorry to hear about your MIL. All you can do is be there for her and make her as comfortable as possible.

I feel so sad for that little boy and his family, I can't imagine going through something like that with a child. I am sending all my positive thoughts your way.

Exercising is one of the best forms of stress relief...even if you don't work out as hard. Take care of yourself and let us know how you are doing. :)
 
tonymcclellan said:
That is definitely not good news.

I definitely feel sadness for the other mother, however at least their is a procedure to help him. This will prepare him to be strong in life. :)
Click to expand...

That's just it Tony, he's probably not going to live much longer. He may survive the surgery, but that will just help for a short time, it's a temporary fix. He has multiple dx's, and use to have complex seizures. He is a great kid, I've known him and his mother for 4 years now. But in the past 9 months, the seizures have gotten expodentially worse. The doctors said he developed a myriad of seizures including one that stops his breathing. And now this. Kids shouldn't have to go thru this.

This is just compounded by my MIL and her health. She use to call damn near every day. She is the one I would normally talk to about this.

I just can't keep it together......
 
chihiro said:
Diane, very sorry to hear about your MIL. All you can do is be there for her and make her as comfortable as possible.

I feel so sad for that little boy and his family, I can't imagine going through something like that with a child. I am sending all my positive thoughts your way.

Exercising is one of the best forms of stress relief...even if you don't work out as hard. Take care of yourself and let us know how you are doing. :)
Click to expand...

Thanks Chi :) You're a sweetie.....
 
I'm done sobbing!

Ok, I cried for the last day and a half and I'm done. Nothing left, so time to get proactive....

I can't do much about my MIL but wait for news. Her condition is such that that is all we can do, see how much she can come back from her critical state.

As for my friend and her son, I called her this morning and made a date to take them both out for a picnic in the park. I figured getting them out somewhere beautiful and relaxing might help. She sounded excited and pleased to get a " mental break". Hopefully he will also enjoy the great outdoors with his toys and some friends.

He is going in for his surgery on the 15th. They will be putting the drain tube in and they are removing an 11cm growth. Please keep good thoughts for the little guy, he gonna need all he can get.

His mother is hanging in there and is doing everything she can with him while she can. I decided I needed to adopt the same attitude and make life as enjoyable as I can for them during this difficult time.

Appreciate the support here!

cheers,
Diane
 
Gotfit:

I have been very busy the last few days, and just saw this thread today.

========================================================

Gotfit, you have alot to give to those in need, just plant the seed:

This is you, GotFit:

Death does not become me.

There are places in my heart that exist that others cannot see.

I wish to live deliberately, so I can learn what I had to teach, and give comfort to ones with difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss their lips, sunsets to warm their hearts, hugs when the spirit sags, and give the beauty of love to swell them up with glee that will never flee...

No matter how hard death tries, it cannot separate my love nor does it end the relationship with thee.

Death does not become me.



Best wishes,

Chillen
 
Last edited:
Chillen said:
Gotfit:

I have been very busy the last few days, and just saw this thread today.

Best wishes,

Chillen
Click to expand...

Chillen,

Thank you so much for the great post/poem. I have copied it to my PDA so I can take it with me and when I need some strength, can read it again :)

Thank you very much :)

Diane
 
My son had seizures not that long ago and we were pretty worried about the prognosis but by some miracle he has come through it with no explanation. You just got to go with the flow and not give up hope. Miracles never cease to occur ya know.
 
NBS 4life said:
My son had seizures not that long ago and we were pretty worried about the prognosis but by some miracle he has come through it with no explanation. You just got to go with the flow and not give up hope. Miracles never cease to occur ya know.
Click to expand...

I am glad to hear your son is doing better. Seizures in children can be very frightening for parents. One of my twins had complex/partial seizures at 5 months. It was a scary time for us. He also stopped with meds, and after two years was fine and was taken off the medication.


Her son's seizures seem to be an effect of something else yet to be discovered. This may be part of it. The surgery may help (so we hope) but this is a child with multiple disorders and there are many complications that go along with the seizures.

We are just hopeing ( and praying) that the doctors can discover what is the source of his issues and help him recover from all of this.

Thanks for posting, it's nice to know others can sympathize :)

take care,
Diane
 
Children can be AMAZINGLY resilient. One of my daughters friends, at the age of 5, was taken to the doctor to have her cough checked-out...what they found was lymphatic cancer throughout both lungs and other cancers in her body: it was overwhelming. Let's just say it: it makes you question if there really is a G-d and if so, why is this happening? The child got treatment and completely beat it..she's in full remission and 100% healthy today. Never count a child out no matter how severe & horrific the symptoms.

I've always been fond of describing our ability to move through life without regard to "certain" things as "suspending disbelief"...for the most part we move day to day with the typical events happening, and tv, movies and life in general suggest we'll all live to an old age and peacefully move along in our sleep. We presume with arrogance & entitlement our next day. While I wish I could move through some wise words that ease things or grant some enlightenment...I can't. We just have to be aware that life is a precious gift just as much as it's something we often can't understand. Take nothing for granted and make the most of what you have.....

Prayers & best-wishes to you and all
 
BikeSwimLaugh said:
Children can be AMAZINGLY resilient.
Click to expand...

yes they can. This child has proven that time and time again, it just seems like things keep getting more and more desperate each time he mananges to get "stable" in one area something else happens. I am doing my best to keep hope alive, it just can be so hard when you keep hitting walls...

BikeSwimLaugh said:
While I wish I could move through some wise words that ease things or grant some enlightenment...I can't. We just have to be aware that life is a precious gift just as much as it's something we often can't understand. Take nothing for granted and make the most of what you have.....

Prayers & best-wishes to you and all
Click to expand...

Thanks BSL, it means a lot to all of us :)
take care,
Diane
 
Wow, a double whammy of bad news. I guess the MIL situation is not surprising, but nonetheless sad. My MIL passed away last year after a 5 month bout with ovarian cancer. Very sad.

As for the youngster, that is much worse. I sure hope his condition improves; parents aren't supposed to bury their children.
 
g8r80 said:
Wow, a double whammy of bad news. I guess the MIL situation is not surprising, but nonetheless sad. My MIL passed away last year after a 5 month bout with ovarian cancer. Very sad.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry for your loss. It is very sad when you loose a family member. It is also expected when our parents get older, but still impacts us none the less.

g8r80 said:
As for the youngster, that is much worse. I sure hope his condition improves; parents aren't supposed to bury their children.
Click to expand...

So do I. She lives for that child, and he is one great kid. It's her son that hit me the hardest.

I got news yesterday that an old and very close family friend has uterus cancer....( could it be my roller coaster is on a down slope?:confused:)

I've known her since I was a child....and the hits just keep coming.....

thanks for your post, it helps to hear others views...

take care,
Diane
 
Hi, Gotfit--I am so sorry to hear your bad news.

I was s single mother at one time, and cannot imagine going through my child's illness like that--without a spouse. I am so glad she has you to talk to and for support--it means SO MUCH when you're on your own to have someone take the time to help you out. Single parenting is tough, and you're often so busy that you don't realize how much you wind up isolating yourself just because you, yourself, has to do everything!

An 11 cm mass is pretty big--does he have cancer or something?

Hugs and prayers to you--
 
Greenhorn Gal said:
Hi, Gotfit--I am so sorry to hear your bad news.

I was s single mother at one time, and cannot imagine going through my child's illness like that--without a spouse. I am so glad she has you to talk to and for support--it means SO MUCH when you're on your own to have someone take the time to help you out. Single parenting is tough, and you're often so busy that you don't realize how much you wind up isolating yourself just because you, yourself, has to do everything!

An 11 cm mass is pretty big--does he have cancer or something?

Hugs and prayers to you--
Click to expand...

yeah I couldn't imagine either :( I know it is dreadfully hard for her, but she does a great job. I know it also makes it difficult for you to maintain friends. You see, she and I have kids who have special needs. Both my boys and her son are autistic. My kids have a few other dx's, but nothing to the extent of her son and the medical attention he has and does need.
Having special needs kids puts you in a whole other group. More often than not, it leaves you very much isolated from others. I'm lucky, I have an incredible husband who is my best friend and biggest supporter :D
I'm forced to be an "at home mom" because their needs are too extensive for me to go out and work for any period of time.

I can't imagine having to take care of a child with the amount of demands he has for his care and be single! But she is an amazing person who has done it for the past 12 years.

I don't believe the growth is cancerous. She said what it was called (yeah, there is a name for it) but it escapes me. It is very large. She said that whatever they call this growth is usually removed at 7cm. But because they couldn't get him medically stable they didn't know it was there until the other day when they finally got a scan of it (MRI or CAT, not sure which showed it). Hence the urgency to remove it. There are a number of kids who are in need of "urgent" care at the speciality hospital where he is seen, so the soonest they could do it was the 15th.


thanks for posting, it's nice to know others care :)

take care,
Diane
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top