Competing with a video game for attention from your significant other?
- Thread starter heatherisadork
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Reee
New member
OMG tell me about it. My BF could spend 24hrs a day playing Warcraft. I don't know how many times I got mad at him because of it. Most recently last weekend. And I dont know how many times he promised me not to play when I'm with him but it only changed for a short time and everything would go back to what it was. I'm soooo sick of it and for god sake he's already 25, it's a serious sign of not growing up!
However I don't wanna break up with him yet cuz there's so much history between us and all the other things. But I definitely won't marry him until he says goodbye completely to video games.
So let's lose some weight and show them what they're missing and how NOT irreplacable they are!
However I don't wanna break up with him yet cuz there's so much history between us and all the other things. But I definitely won't marry him until he says goodbye completely to video games.
So let's lose some weight and show them what they're missing and how NOT irreplacable they are!
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Kayshiz
New member
I swear I will never understand girls.
He's 25, not 15. He is grown up, and he still likes video games. That's probably not going away, especially to go from a hardcore gamer to nothing.
I'm almost 27 and still play video games. That's not going away, but I don't let them interfere with my work, friends or marriage. I'm not saying he shouldn't realize the need to balance his actual real world life with his gamer life, but to think he will say goodbye to video games forever is almost ridiculous thinking.
heatherisadork
New member
Yea I don't expect him to give games up, and I don't care that he is a gamer, I just don't like how I'm competing with a game for time spent with him, and I know I can't win. But like Reee said, my boyfriend isn't replaceable, I don't want to replace him, I love him, we've been together for 5 years and have lived together for 2. We have a house together, 2 dogs together.
I just want him to spend real time with me, where we actually go out, or hang out for a few hours and have intelligent conversations that don't involve WoW. I think when I lose the weight and I start going out a lot with my friends he'll notice i'm not just sitting around waiting to do something with him anymore, and then actually start to want to hang out with me over a game. Wishful thinking, I know. But at least it's one of my motivators to lose weight. heh.
I just want him to spend real time with me, where we actually go out, or hang out for a few hours and have intelligent conversations that don't involve WoW. I think when I lose the weight and I start going out a lot with my friends he'll notice i'm not just sitting around waiting to do something with him anymore, and then actually start to want to hang out with me over a game. Wishful thinking, I know. But at least it's one of my motivators to lose weight. heh.
Jeanette401
New member
Yeah, and probably part of the taking for granted part is that he knows this and is sort of relying on it to get away with ignoring you when he feels like it :/ I can say that while my circumstances were somewhat different (gaming wasn't the culprit) when I started going out with friends and not acting like I cared what he thought or wanted it most definitely got noticed.
The Catch-22 with situations like this is that some times in order for the other person to really act like they want to make things work is for you to get to the point where you almost don't care about not wanting to give up the years you have together. Which sucks. Hang in there.
ChefChiTown
New member
Everybody is replaceable. I'm not saying that to encourage you to leave (I'm not), but don't think that you have to be stuck with the dude that you're with, as if nobody could possibly be any better than he is. Because, umm...people who play video games all day long and ignore their girlfriends (especially their girlfriend of 5+ years) are a dime a dozen. Actually, I think they're running about a penny a dozen now, because that's how many of those dudes are out there. Supply and demand. Demand is low, but the supply is high, so their value has plummeted.
Seriously, if this dude sits there and pay attention to a God damned video game more than he pays attention to you - his girlfriend who he supposedly loves - than he is deeeeefinitely replaceable.
And, just because you don't want to replace him doesn't mean that he isn't replaceable. Because, speaking as a video game lover myself...he's going overboard. I could sit here and play video games all day long if I really wanted to, but...I don't. People who do that are seriously wasting their time, especially if they have a loving girlfriend to spend time with. If I had a girlfriend, I'd much prefer spending time with her as opposed to spending time with Kratos and the Gods of Olympus.
Video games are just that - games. Games are to be played. People play them because they want to escape from reality and have a little bit of fun for a while, without having to take anything too seriously. But, you and your relationship with him isn't a game - it's real life. And, real life isn't a game. Real life isn't always about having fun; sometimes you have to get serious. And, he obviously doesn't want to live in reality, because he's taking his game far more seriously than he takes your relationship, your wants and your needs.
So, no...he's not irreplaceable.
FYI - I'm not saying this to put anybody down. I'm saying this because I play video games myself and I find it absolutely appalling that somebody can ignore their girlfriend to such a ridiculous degree, especially for a fucking video game.
I had this same problem with my husband when we first moved in together and occasionally he still sits on his ass for a good 6 or more hours some days and completely ignore me, but not nearly as much as before. I confronted him when it started to bother me and he would claim that was his *me* time and he needed that. I understand, because I need my time alone too. So now he plays when he wakes up and I'm still sleeping, or I'll take my *me* time in our room reading,writing, whatever while he plays for a few hours in the living room. And then if he doesn't stop I simply annoy him until he does. lol
Seriously though, it did really bother me at first and I felt alone a lot. I just had to make myself realize as nice as it is to be together everyone should have time alone as well, so compromise. I'm sure it'll take awhile if he's stubborn like mine is :/ but... let hime know how you feel about it if its excessive. Ask him to play during times you're busy, sleeping (if he's awake when you're not). Thats what I did
Seriously though, it did really bother me at first and I felt alone a lot. I just had to make myself realize as nice as it is to be together everyone should have time alone as well, so compromise. I'm sure it'll take awhile if he's stubborn like mine is :/ but... let hime know how you feel about it if its excessive. Ask him to play during times you're busy, sleeping (if he's awake when you're not). Thats what I did
i also told him that if i wasnt his first priority than I'd have to make sure he was no longer mine and that I would leave... My situation was a little different though. We had just moved in together, and had been apart for 2years before that so it was *single* stubborness mainly.
If its been 2 years, he seriously should compromise with you. Sorry I don't really have much more advice.
If its been 2 years, he seriously should compromise with you. Sorry I don't really have much more advice.
I just started reading this thread, and when I saw DerbyDoll's post, I had to give her rep for this. Two thumbs up!
Mandi2
New member
Play with him. I play World of Warcraft and so does my boyfriend.
I love video games!size32someday
Active member
WoW sucks the life out of people. People need to log out every once and awhile and do stuff that actually matters. rather then sit for 6 hours to obtain something that for all intent and purposes means nothing in the real world. I wasted away in a game called Everquest for years. After quiting you look back and say what have i really accomplished this past 3 or 4 years, um nothing. nothing at all.
sometimes you just need to let go and go outside.
sometimes you just need to let go and go outside.
heatherisadork
New member
Play with him. I play World of Warcraft and so does my boyfriend.
I'd rather play with him in bed then with a blood elf, if ya catch my drift
haha
ChefChiTown
New member
Don't say "nothing". I'm sure you got reeeeeally good at masturbating, considering you probably didn't have a girlfriend during those 4 years.
Sunflower2
New member
I adoreeee video games. Me and my SO are playing through the God of War collection right now! However, he is super into Final Fantasy (which I hate) so I get mad when he spends 6hours playing that. Like you heather, I live with my SO so I feel bad trying to take up his "man" time!!!