James2
New member
I have been kicking around the idea of this thread for awhile now, and after this weekend, I decided to do a little writeup and educate everyone on Bar Etiquette.
I have worked as a bouncer at a couple different bars to pick up some extra cash for awhile now. It has become apparent that some people just don't know how to act at a bar, and it is my hope that a little bit of education is going to save me and bar workers across the world a lot of frustration.
Entering the bar
As I'm a bouncer, this is where most of my gripes come from, so I'll go ahead and make this the biggest section. If you want to get into a bar that has a doorman (what bouncers are called now thanks to Roadhouse), certain things can grease the cogs a lot more than other things.
Everyone
If there is a line, wait in it patiently, and talk to your friends. Smile and act happy when you get to the front of the line. If the bar you are entering isn't your local college dive bar where a notecard saying "yes, I'm 21" gets you in, have your ID out of the "superglue sleeve," so I don't have to wait 20 minutes for you to get it out. MOST importantly... if you are drunk, try to be as sober-looking as possible. Not SOMBER, but SOBER. It is my job to make sure that someone that is already falling over doesn't get in, 'cause that just means I'm going to have to go in and drag them out thirty minutes later. Again, smile... I have to deal with hundreds on hundreds of people each night. One smile in a night full of assholes, and your face gets remembered for next time when I'll just wave you in.
Older People
If you are 35 and over, and a man, please have grey hair. If you don't have grey hair, I will probably card you because if I don't, I will have my manager up my ass, even though he knows that you are a good 10 years older than him. Women, please walk in with men that have grey hair. If there is no line, and time permits, I will most likely card you in a friendly way just to make sure you are already walking in to the bar in a good mood (means better tips for everyone involved), and to hear you say "oooh, you are SUCH a good boy!" Men: Don't get upset if I don't card you... you are not an older woman, and need to act like you have a pair, even if it doesn't work anymore.
Younger People (of age)
I really don't care if you are 24, and you think you are OBVIOUSLY over the legal drinking age. I'm still going to card you. No grey hair = show me the ID. I know that the bouncers at that bar you used to go to when you were underage with your fake barely even looked at the IDs, but anyone that looks under 30, and/or has a date on their card under 27 is going to get a thorough check at a real bar. If I let an underage person through, I lose my job. As a point, the ONLY people that complain about getting carded harder than a regular glance are the people that are either underage or just turned 21. Saying "She is old enough, man" does absolutely nothing, and does not speed up the process one bit. Also, know that if you look/act like the stereotypical frat boy/sorority girl, you are going to go through much harsher scrutiny. 90% of the problems that happen at bars aren't the men with the corn rows or tattoos on their face, or 80 piercings, or Misfits t-shirt... they are the men with croakies and frog-skin oakleys late at night with the popped collar and rainbow sandals.
Younger People (not of age)
Look happy, not nervous. Know your ID inside and out. Make sure that the people you are with don't wait around once they get inside (that is a dead giveaway). If you can't grow real facial hair, get a clean shave. Tag along with a group of slightly older people if you can for some cred. Most importantly: Know the bar you are going to. Don't try to take a crappy laminate or bleach to the bar that cards hard, you'll just lose it.
Tipping
Some people have heard to calculate a tip on a meal, you subtract things like drinks, then do your % on the food itself. When you go to a bar to eat lunch, then leave at 11pm that night after drinking 5 kegs of beer yourself, that rule is not in effect. A good rule of thumb to go by is at least $1/beer if you go up to the bar to get it, and more than that if a waitress brings it to you. If you plan to go back to a bar more than once, leave a sizeable tip your first time. The waitresses remember the faces of every awesome tipper, and they remember who the poor tippers were. Don't shoot yourself in the foot by leaving a poor tip at a place where you plan to go back to.
Not Getting Kicked Out
These are the following things that I have had to remove people from the bar for doing. This will be an updated list.
-Sleeping on the bar
-Sleeping on the floor
-Pulling your pants down to prove how big it is to anyone who cares
-Spanking a waitress
-Putting your hands into other peoples' beers
-Giving the manager's girlfriend shit
-Giving the manager shit
-Giving me shit
-Describing your fantasy which includes the bartender to the bartender in question
-Being a Sabers fan
-Your friend is a Sabers fan
-Being rude for no reason
-Tearing up menus and acting like a child throwing a tempertantrum
With all the people on these boards, lets get some bartenders/waitresses to leave some more thoughts on how to act, and get that information out there on how to not be considered a class-A jerk at a bar.
I have worked as a bouncer at a couple different bars to pick up some extra cash for awhile now. It has become apparent that some people just don't know how to act at a bar, and it is my hope that a little bit of education is going to save me and bar workers across the world a lot of frustration.
Entering the bar
As I'm a bouncer, this is where most of my gripes come from, so I'll go ahead and make this the biggest section. If you want to get into a bar that has a doorman (what bouncers are called now thanks to Roadhouse), certain things can grease the cogs a lot more than other things.
Everyone
If there is a line, wait in it patiently, and talk to your friends. Smile and act happy when you get to the front of the line. If the bar you are entering isn't your local college dive bar where a notecard saying "yes, I'm 21" gets you in, have your ID out of the "superglue sleeve," so I don't have to wait 20 minutes for you to get it out. MOST importantly... if you are drunk, try to be as sober-looking as possible. Not SOMBER, but SOBER. It is my job to make sure that someone that is already falling over doesn't get in, 'cause that just means I'm going to have to go in and drag them out thirty minutes later. Again, smile... I have to deal with hundreds on hundreds of people each night. One smile in a night full of assholes, and your face gets remembered for next time when I'll just wave you in.
Older People
If you are 35 and over, and a man, please have grey hair. If you don't have grey hair, I will probably card you because if I don't, I will have my manager up my ass, even though he knows that you are a good 10 years older than him. Women, please walk in with men that have grey hair. If there is no line, and time permits, I will most likely card you in a friendly way just to make sure you are already walking in to the bar in a good mood (means better tips for everyone involved), and to hear you say "oooh, you are SUCH a good boy!" Men: Don't get upset if I don't card you... you are not an older woman, and need to act like you have a pair, even if it doesn't work anymore.
Younger People (of age)
I really don't care if you are 24, and you think you are OBVIOUSLY over the legal drinking age. I'm still going to card you. No grey hair = show me the ID. I know that the bouncers at that bar you used to go to when you were underage with your fake barely even looked at the IDs, but anyone that looks under 30, and/or has a date on their card under 27 is going to get a thorough check at a real bar. If I let an underage person through, I lose my job. As a point, the ONLY people that complain about getting carded harder than a regular glance are the people that are either underage or just turned 21. Saying "She is old enough, man" does absolutely nothing, and does not speed up the process one bit. Also, know that if you look/act like the stereotypical frat boy/sorority girl, you are going to go through much harsher scrutiny. 90% of the problems that happen at bars aren't the men with the corn rows or tattoos on their face, or 80 piercings, or Misfits t-shirt... they are the men with croakies and frog-skin oakleys late at night with the popped collar and rainbow sandals.
Younger People (not of age)
Look happy, not nervous. Know your ID inside and out. Make sure that the people you are with don't wait around once they get inside (that is a dead giveaway). If you can't grow real facial hair, get a clean shave. Tag along with a group of slightly older people if you can for some cred. Most importantly: Know the bar you are going to. Don't try to take a crappy laminate or bleach to the bar that cards hard, you'll just lose it.
Tipping
Some people have heard to calculate a tip on a meal, you subtract things like drinks, then do your % on the food itself. When you go to a bar to eat lunch, then leave at 11pm that night after drinking 5 kegs of beer yourself, that rule is not in effect. A good rule of thumb to go by is at least $1/beer if you go up to the bar to get it, and more than that if a waitress brings it to you. If you plan to go back to a bar more than once, leave a sizeable tip your first time. The waitresses remember the faces of every awesome tipper, and they remember who the poor tippers were. Don't shoot yourself in the foot by leaving a poor tip at a place where you plan to go back to.
Not Getting Kicked Out
These are the following things that I have had to remove people from the bar for doing. This will be an updated list.
-Sleeping on the bar
-Sleeping on the floor
-Pulling your pants down to prove how big it is to anyone who cares
-Spanking a waitress
-Putting your hands into other peoples' beers
-Giving the manager's girlfriend shit
-Giving the manager shit
-Giving me shit
-Describing your fantasy which includes the bartender to the bartender in question
-Being a Sabers fan
-Your friend is a Sabers fan
-Being rude for no reason
-Tearing up menus and acting like a child throwing a tempertantrum
With all the people on these boards, lets get some bartenders/waitresses to leave some more thoughts on how to act, and get that information out there on how to not be considered a class-A jerk at a bar.
