Cohen's Lifestyle BabyFatNoMore's Weight Loss Journal

Prefix for Cohen's Lifestyle
Thanks, Annie! Hope all of you had a great Mother's Day.

I did it. I screwed up. Here I was, all prepared for fighting birthday temptation, I never dreamed Mother's Day would be hard. We went out of town. I was worried from the beginning about how I would handle the meals. I did okay for the first few meals-- ordered green salads w/ vinegar and a bit of lean beef. It was probably more food than I should've eaten, but at least it was the right type of food. Somehow, though, I royally messed up last night. I ordered a small steak w/ a side salad and sauteed onions, mushrooms, and green peppers. When it came out, the salad was a Caesar, complete w/ croutons and creamy dressing. I ate some of it! Then, I actually ate the garlic bread! Then, in typical pre-Cohens fashion, I thought, "I've already blown it, might as well go out in style!" So, what did I do? I ate a scoop of ice cream!!! I can't believe I did this. I swore from the beginning that I wouldn't deviate. The thing is, I wasn't even feeling all that tempted. When it started, I was just having trouble finding food that was allowed. (Note to self: Never, ever again step foot in a restaurant or hotel on this diet.) Then, after one mistake, I just threw the rules out the window. In the past, this would be the beginning of the end for me, but I can't let that happen this time. This has to be the one and only deviation on this diet. I will never reach my goal if I deviate. Oh, and to top it off, I had an email from my consultant when I got home... I need to take a 4-week blood test. I'm so worried-- did my deviations ruin my blood? I had been doing soooo well... Now I'm afraid to take the test...

By the way, deviating hurts.... literally. My stomach is still so, so sick. Last night was incredibly painful. And I gained 1.5 pounds. So not worth it.

I'm trying not to feel guilty... trying to see it as a learning experience. If I beat myself up too much, I fear I'll fall into old habits. That is not an option. I'm trying to remember that I had a great Mother's Day and leave it at that.
 
Dear Misty- Do treat it as a learning experience & try not to beat yourself up over it. I do not eat out at the moment. It's too hard. I think you & I both are way too hard on ourselves. Pick yourself up, get back on that horse, & go forth! Lots of love & understanding from Cate.
 
I just realised that next time you look it will probably be your Tuesday so....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISTY!!
Enjoy day one of the rest of your life, xo Cate
 
It is really, really hard getting back on track after a deviation. Why did I do this to myself? I knew me well enough to know I couldn't handle deviating even one bite. I'm feeling soooooo guilty, like such a failure. That, of course, leads me to feel like I've already failed, so why bother? I'm trying so hard to overcome this faulty thinking... it's what has gotten me in trouble before.

It really upsets me that some people are acting like deviations are no big deal. It is SOOOOO not true. For people like me, a deviation can be the end of the dieting world. A deviation can mess up the positive blood balance we've been trying so hard to create. A deviation takes you backwards. A deviation messes with your head AND your waistline. And it can destroy self-esteem. Why encourage people to deviate? Why call a deviation your "best buddy on the program"? A deviation is your worst enemy on the program. Don't get me wrong-- I agree (although I can't seem to follow it myself) that people shouldn't beat themselves or each other up over a deviation; they should get right back on the Cohen's wagon. THAT makes sense. Telling people that deviations can be a useful part of the program doesn't make sense. If you're deviating regularly, you're not really on Cohens. You might be on a reduced calorie diet, but it isn't Cohens.

OK, end of rant..... if you've read to the end.... SORRY. :)
 
Misty- The comments being made in the "Support" thread have really upset me as well. It is so negative & the 2 of them are coming out like wild cats attacking anyone who comments. Hopefully it will end soon. Take care of yourself sweety. You'll get back on track. There is so much to learn about ourselves & it doesn't matter how old you are you will always be learning. It never stops. I think the hormones go a bit haywire on the program as well. Our bodies (the fat?) are probably going into panic mode! I'm sending you well meant positive thoughts. Ignore the negative- stay out of the main thread if you like & I can let you know when it's back to normal. I try but keep peeking & the poor old ticker goes crazy! It's not good for our mental health.
Hugs from me, Cate
 
Thanks, Cate! You are a calming influence... something I need right now. And I think you're right about our bodies going into panic mode. I think I've been hiding behind my extra pounds... they've allowed me to feel invisible. Although I haven't lost as many pounds as others, I already feel a little "weird" about losing my security blanket. Feeling afraid of attracting unwanted attention when I finally get to goal weight. It's so contradictory-- I want to look and feel beautiful, but I don't want to be noticed! It probably goes back to childhood abuse, but that's something to analyze a different day. :)

Well, the day is almost over and I stayed on track. It wasn't quite as hard as I feared. It was just a matter of getting back in the right frame-of-mind. Had to recommit fully to the program. There is no room for deviations in my plan-- not one bite, not one gram.
 
Misty- I find an uncanny parallel between what you say & feel & how I feel.
"Rome wasn't built in a day" is a good quote I think. We can't expect to sort it all out at once. I'm now looking forward to having counselling. (& scared!)
I just read your post in the main thread as well. Hopefully by sticking together we can get the forum back on track. I'm just not going to mention any negativity again. It's best ignored. How many times have we read posts from those who deviate again & again then drop out altogether? It's great that they have lots have come back. It's says a lot for the program I think. We just keep on learning.....
You made me laugh out loud when I read that you said I'm a calming influence on you! We are a calming influence on one another!! xo Cate
 
Hiya Misty

Wooo hoooooooooooooo... you are back on track!
Good on you, so proud of you. :)

Cate: I can be the third musketeer, we can get that main thread back to what it was.
We can do it girls, like I said In Cate's diary, Sunny and his best buddy Mr Deviation has gone now!

Chat soon
Annie Lusion
 
Annie... look at your ticker! Amazing! You must be feeling great, Miss Skinny Minny. :)

And Cate, you are soooo close now. I suppose that's part of the reason for your recent panic. It's one thing to have a goal and work towards it, but to have it so close, finally within reach. I hope that we'll all be able to accept our new, thinner figures and be happy, and NOT find something else to criticize about ourselves!

I'm so glad we all found this plan... and this forum. People in the "real world" get a little sick of hearing about dieting and food. It's great to have people who can relate and never tire of hearing about it.
 
Misty- I really am starting to think that we should & will learn to love & see ourselves as others do. My BIL in the US once told me that I was a really good person. He never said what he didn't mean & I don't think it gets better than that!
The 3 musketeers- Annie, Misty & Cate. I like it. We are such positive influences on one another & if we can help others that's a bonus.
It's nice that the forum is back on track. I love this forum.
Thanks for your birthday song Misty. You are a sweet, good person!
xo Cate.
 
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Thanks and Hi Misty
Skinny Minny, thats what my husband calls me...:doh:
I am starting to feel really good now, healthwise and physically, still a way to go but one day at a time... I am really enjoying it and that makes it easy.

More importantly though, look at your ticker...8.5 kilos in a month ...thats pretty awesome! Good on ya!!

I don't talk Cohens to people, I have told no-one apart from hubby and sister. When people ask I just say "just cut down on carbs" I can't be bothered explaining the program and besides it's true, I have cut out carbs.

I also love this forum and the support we give each other...it's special!!
Enjoy your weekend!
TTFN
Annie Lusion
 
HI Misty
I hope you read this. Just wanted to say that my heart goes out to you and I am thinking of you, was real sorry to hear what you're going through.

Hang in there, I know it's tough, I have a friend going through the same at the moment.

Annie Lusion
 
Thanks, Annie. I appreciate the support, I really do. I know I need to post in here and get back on track 100 percent (posting here helps me stay motivated), but it's difficult when my entire life is up in the air. In a way, this is probably the best decision for both of us, but I never wanted to be a statistic, never wanted that for my kids. But, I've lost myself in this marriage, lost my voice, my ability to think "my" thoughts, dream "my" dreams. I never wanted that for my kids either. Will they be better off w/ two happy parents in separate homes? Hard to say. Will we even be happier? Harder to say. Ironically, I had just started reading a book that claims that divorce is never the right option, that it is always better to work it out, that kids are never okay after divorce. The book went on to say that you can create a great, happy, loving marriage. I was feeling so optimistic! Really thinking we could turn things around. The very next day he tells me our marriage is over! It would be funny if it weren't so damned sad....
 
Hey Misty and gals:

My consultant did tell me that it takes about a week after a deviation for the hormone balance to re-settle, so there is hope and it isn't permanent damage, at least not physically: spiritually and emotionally I do think the best thing is to just decide again for a fresh start and try to end off on any recriminations... I have deviated a few times some intentional and others accidental... and it hasn't always negatively affected my weight loss but I know its best to just continue to stick to the program as written. Whatever it takes to reaffirm your decision and desire to reach your goals, its best to validate that rather than make yourself wrong for past indiscretions.

That's my two cents and I wish you a very positive journey and appreciate being able to read and follow all these threads...

Keep up the good work and mutual support folks, you help so many people you might not even be aware are there and reading all this!

Best,
Debbie

AKA FitNFeisty (my future self!)
 
Hi Misty

Well we are here to help you stay motivated and to listen, so feel free anytime.

I hope you have a lot of support to help you through this, I know it's sad but continue to stay strong for your kids.

hang in there!
Annie Lusion
 
Hi Misty, Thinking of you & hoping you're ok, xo Cate.
 
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