April's Journey to "135"

Hey B, I got my card today! Thank you. The stamps are cool! Mine are still sitting here waiting to be mailed! I'm gonna get them out tomorrow!
 
You know, at this time of year I bounce back and forth frome holiday giddy to extremely depressed. Maybe that's why I'm not doing so well on my diet and excercise. I was looking back at some things I wrote a few months ago and I think it's time to get my mind straight. I'm copying a journal entry I made at another forum here. It was my first entry to introduce myself and put the real me out there, and I don't think I've really done that since I've been here. So, here goes.
started life as a fat baby-10lb3oz. The only things I really remember about my weight as a child is that at age 11 I wore a size 11, at age 12 I was 4'10" and weighed 250. Lost 100 pounds over the next year. By 16 I wore a size 16. I remember that because it was the year I first got married and it was my wedding dress. First husband lasted for about a year until the abuse got so bad I ran away in the middle of the night with 2 babies. That wa 1986. From 1987 to 1997 I was with another man who was a drug addict/alchoholic/cheat/criminal. The emotional abuse was unbelievable. After I left him things were typical single parent issues until 1999. That was when my oldest daughter who was then 15 was diagnosed as bipolar schizophrenic. In January of 2000, my entire world crashed around me. My beautiful daughter tried to run away from the hospital and was hit by a car on the highway. She died instantly, exactly 2 weeks before her 16th birthday. After that I really didn't see any reason for living. Even though I had 2 more wonderful daughters 14 and 9. I wanted to die and thought of nothing but how I could kill myself without messing up the life insurance for my babies. So I started eating, and nothing else. 3 weeks later, my 14 year old moved in with her boyfriends family. Not with my blessing but I knew she couldn't stand to live with me anymore. My youngest daughter did not show signs of trouble until the next year. She started fighting, stealing, anything else. Turns out she just wanted someone to say she didn't have to live with me anymore. She now lives with other family and life is much better between us. In August of 2001 I met a wonderful man named John. At this point I had ballooned to 275 pounds. I am 5'3". We met on the phone and I was terrified at the idea of meeting him. I knew that as soon as he saw me it was over. Today we both say that we knew we were in love even before the night we met face to face. We have had a wonderful life since then and have been married for almost 2 years now. He loves me anyway I am, and I appreciate that and love him for it. Now it's time for me to love me again.
 
Oh my gosh!!!! I had no idea things had been so bad for you!! My heart really goes out to you hun! Omg!

Your right though, its time to move on and love yourself!! You are such a wonderful woman, so strong. Look what you've been through and your still kickin it! Love you hun!!
 
Thanks Korrie, sometimes it helps me to write it down. That way I can look at it and say, you survived all this. Anything else life wants to thow at me I can handle!Ok, on with the day.
BREAKFAST: Atkins Shake-
water:32 oz
coffee: 3 cups!
 
I remember reading in a few posts you making reference to your oldest daughter, but I didn't want to pry. I'm sorry you've had such a difficult life so far, by my mom's always said that we are never given challenges that we don't have the strength to overcome! I'm glad you're with us now :)
 
April, I'm so sorry that happend to you... Like Beagle said I remember reading about your daughter and didn't want to seem nosy so i never asked.. I am so glad you got out of the marriage that resulted in abuse.. My mom was beaten for several years in front of my sister and I. I know how hard it must have been on you and your children. But the important thing is you did get away and you have a better life now! I know your a very strong person.. look at what all you have had to overcome.. and you are strong enough to get through the weight loss!
 
Hey how are you?Just a quick hello and I hope you are going ok on your diet!Off to have a shower now then bed!Its 12.13am and I am bushed!
 
Hey mate, so I rang the hypnotist and im going before Christmas, im booked in for the 20th. He asked me why I was waiting to do this after Christmas and I said because we had a lot of parties to go to and I wanted to wait till after all the temptation was gone. He said it wouldn’t matter, that it wont bother me…how good would that be. He guarantees that I will give up. It’s costing me $180.00 and that’s for 3 visits and he said that if something tragic happens in my life like when my dad died and if I do start smoking again then just go back and he will fix it again. So hun I will let you no how it goes.
 
Rhonda, let me know how it goes. Who knows maybe I'll try it again. Thanks everybody. I just had a couple of minutes so I stopped by!
Breakfast: bacon pancakes!
water 32 oz
Lunch" shake
water 32 oz
Dinner grilled chicken
green beans
water 32 oz
snack 1 tbsp vanilla ice cream
32 oz water
 
April i seen your post in magenta's diary, pm me the Rolf Harris songs you are looking for, I may be able to help.
 
Good mornin you little Stinker...LOL, just wanted to come in and see how you are doin. I am sorry I wasnt here all weekend but I missed you. Hope you have a great Monday!
 
Hi everybody! Ok, since your classes go til Wednesday and I've got the bus runs until Friday, I suggest we start either Saturday or Monday. You name it!! I feel pretty good today. Started off with a bad breakfast but I followed it up with a 2 mile walk and then was good the rest of the day. Christina, he's driving me up the walls. So far there are no overnight trips in sight!! I love him but it's worse than a brand new puppy! Always there, "watcha doin?" Ok, I know I'm wayyyy behind but my cards are going in the mail tomorrow!!!! Seriously this time. I just hope the out of country ones make it on time. My aussie girls, please be patient! Oh yeah, Magenta I need your address. PM me ok?
BREAKFAST: 2 slices bacon
3 scrambled eggs
3 jumbo butter biscuits:eek: :eek:
32 oz water
LUNCH: Atkins shake
32 oz water
DINNER: small taco salad with extra lean meat!
32 oz water
24 oz water as I'm typing
water total: 120oz
EXCERCISE: 2 mile walk at 2 mph
 
I'm sorry he is driving you up the wall! If it makes you feel any better mine calls me at least 7-10 times a day just to say... "what ya doing?" lol...
 
I've got you beat on that too! We have the free pcs to pcs service. Every month we got through over 8000 minutes of calls to each other. That's just our calls between our 2 phones! We are talking about 7-9 hours a day whenever he's not home!!!
 
Girl I havent even gotten stamps yet! 40 cards all waiting to be mailed... so sad!
And dont hate your men... they love you for crying out loud! LOL
 
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