A LIL ANNOYED(help from girls)

I hate to be the one to break up all the touchy-feely stuff going on here but I feel I need to speak up a little

Brago - Your gf has got your nuts in a clamp and if you don't free yourself now you'll end up like this for the rest of your life.

By the sound of it your gf is playing childish little games, if you want to carry on playing these games then fine stay with her, but if you want a mutually benificial relationship get out of this one now and find someone with a mental age larger than her shoe size.

Now at this point some of you are probably thinking I'm being a little harsh but I bet there's not a man in here over the age of 25 that hasn't had experience of seeing a friend torn apart by this kind of relationship. Trust me, it will happen, your girlfriend sees your relationship as a bit of fun, which would be fine if you felt the same way but you don't. You love her and she likes you.

You may well think that's OK and you're prepared to stick with it on these terms but in the end you're mugging yourself

And to conclude, this is what the future holds; you read this, you think I might be right but you stay with her anyway because you don't have the strength to leave her, she screws you over, you go on a bender for a month or two, your mates pick you up and rebuild you. Then one day you come across a kid in the same position as you're in now and you give him this advice and the cycle goes round again.

Trust me; get your balls out of that clamp now and be your own man again before you find yourself staring into the bottom of a bottle of tequila
 
LOL CCR. He'll be fine, I think we're forgetting he's a 'kid'. That's kind-a my point. What he'll take out of this relationship is the lesson of what a little space can do, not to mention how lonely a one sided relationship feels. I like the way you said it: You love her, she likes you. He'll get it on his own time.

Edit: Thanks Nae! (and Flying Free ;) ), I'm an old sappy romantic at heart, just don't tell anyone, I've got a reputation (for being a little cynical sometimes) to protect LOL
 
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Moonbeam3 said:
LOL CCR. He'll be fine, I think we're forgetting he's a 'kid'.
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Yeah, but the first cut cuts deepest, regardless of age. I was 19 when I met my girlfriend who was only 16, we've now been togather for almost 8 years, we knew it was love at the time so it is possible.

I'm just trying to prepare the guy for what's about to happen because it might soften the blow a little.
 
CCR said:
I hate to be the one to break up all the touchy-feely stuff going on here but I feel I need to speak up a little

Brago - Your gf has got your nuts in a clamp and if you don't free yourself now you'll end up like this for the rest of your life.

By the sound of it your gf is playing childish little games, if you want to carry on playing these games then fine stay with her, but if you want a mutually benificial relationship get out of this one now and find someone with a mental age larger than her shoe size.

Now at this point some of you are probably thinking I'm being a little harsh but I bet there's not a man in here over the age of 25 that hasn't had experience of seeing a friend torn apart by this kind of relationship. Trust me, it will happen, your girlfriend sees your relationship as a bit of fun, which would be fine if you felt the same way but you don't. You love her and she likes you.

You may well think that's OK and you're prepared to stick with it on these terms but in the end you're mugging yourself

And to conclude, this is what the future holds; you read this, you think I might be right but you stay with her anyway because you don't have the strength to leave her, she screws you over, you go on a bender for a month or two, your mates pick you up and rebuild you. Then one day you come across a kid in the same position as you're in now and you give him this advice and the cycle goes round again.

Trust me; get your balls out of that clamp now and be your own man again before you find yourself staring into the bottom of a bottle of tequila
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This post is so good (and true) that i deleted the original one i made a few days ago and i can't believe i didn't say something similar to this. Just to extend though - Don't settle for being the b itch of the relationship. (Most) women like a man who is confident and in control (to a certain extent). It's quite obvious that she wears the pants in this relationship and from the sounds of it, that isn't going to change anytime soon. And yes, you are "just a kid", you might not like being called that but it's the truth and mate, there are plenty of girls out there. This isn't the best relationship advice but i'll say it anyway - if YOU end it with HER (don't let her dump you), then at least you leave with something because at the moment she seems awfully keen on messing around rather than committing to you.
 
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From a fellow 15 year old:

First of all, you say you love her. Right, now sit down and ask yourself, do I just not like the idea of not being with her, or do I really honestly want to be with her. Quite often you find people just say they just think they love somebody.

Now to your problem. It's you being obsessive. Do you constantly tell her you love her? Make it really evident. Text her after everything you do? Always call her, and she rarely calls you? Always speak first on yahoo?
If this is the case your problem is very simple. You're way too easy. Part of managing to keep a relationship going is it being a mutual deal. She has you wrapped around her finger, you are no challenge to her. Key word: Challenge. She knows she can get away with anything and get you back. It's easy for her, get in the flippin game man. Forget about saying 'I love you' and crying over her phone calls. Dude, it won't get you anywhere.

So here's what you should do:
Give her some space, keep it to her communicating with you, and make sure the only communication you initiate is coming from 'Good morning'. Keep things short and fast, and pretend like your not that bothered. If she likes you enough she will chase after you, otherwise it's over. Fact is man, you make up now, and keep being wimpy to her, it goes bums up later.

It is hard to do, if you really like her. But you have to do it. For any chance of getting yourself back on level terms. And even then. Express love through actions, not words. And if she stops calling you, don't call her. Then if that keeps up for too long, ask her whats the matter. Keep the balance dude between making her do all the word, and making her realise you like her.

Btw. If she cheats on you. Dump her. Don't even act bothered. Never cheat back though. That starts stupid games. And from personal experience, playing games with someone you care about isn't fun.
 
Moonbeam3 said:
Chillen you're so cool. I think it's great you're understanding because I think some people forget what it's like to be 15 or 16. And I disagree that that's too young to know what love is. Children love, adolecents love, adults love. It may be different with every age but it's love all the same.

I remember that's exactly how old I was (16) when I got my heart broken for the first time. I was devasted, felt like I had a broken spirit, like my life was coming to an end.

In retrospect I see that my world wasn't and didn't come to an end. It was just the end of an era (so to speak).

Just remember Brago, with every relationship/heartbreak you bring something with you that will help you in the next relationship until you find the person who is truly meant to be yours.

Remember your first love isn't necessarily your 'one true love'...it's just that, your first...

Good luck!
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you really now how to cheer a guy up^^ alot has happened to me over a couple of days my friend Dion accidently downloaded something that almost destroyed my computer,my girlfriend Hayley witch was the first person I ever truly Loved Broke-up with me she broke-up with me becouse I guess I loved her to much! I'm a bit confused about the whole thing but I'm proud of her^^
she was honest with me and told me she wanted to break-up now what I'm confused about is she siad she'll give me a month to work on my obsessiveness and in my oppinion the only obsessive things I was been doing is walking her to some of her classes sometimes being late to my class,give her a hug or a kiss or both when we finaly get to her class,and finaly giveing her attention when she wants it like she used too poke my ribs or if we sit next to each other she used too tap my knee with her knee in this class called theater 1(Awsomely fun class)but she said the reasons why she broke-up with me was becouse I was too obsessive,too jelouse of other guys hiting on her(gilty as charged lol)I would strike the guy hiting on her a evil look,was getting a bit controlling(this one I was not aware of)and she siad I was too clingly(gilty as charged) if I missed Hayley weather she was busy or not I would call her or go over to her house just to say I miss you or I want a hug
but all in all I'm proud sure I'm upset and I feel like my heart has been riped to shreds(witch really really really sucks) but inside I'm proud for what all I learned and for what Hayley did sure I did not want Hayley to break-up with me but if I'm not makeing her happy then by all means break-up with me
same for all you girls and Ladies out there if I'm not makeing you happy then by all means break-up with me thats my Motto becouse weather being a pre-teen,Full Teen,or an adult we all understand that you can't have TRUE LOVE without happyness^^

what I learned during my 7-month realationship so far is:

1,being a lil obsessive is cute but being too obsessive is annoying too girls
2,if you too obsessive girls tend to lose reaspect for you as a person
3,sometimes when girls get angry its SCARY
4,girls can be vary EVIL when they want to be
5,even tho your girlfriend says I want to be with you forever think twice when she gets mad at you
6,I'll never understand girls no matter how much I try

the list goes on

p.s. the reason why I'm not like talking to you guys in a freaked out upset way is becouse its been about 5 days since the break-up I still care about Hayley and I still Love her but every day goes by my mind keeps telling me its over move on so each day I'm getting over it more and more
 
Glad to see your hanging in KIDDO!............Self acknowledging a list of things learned is a great big step, young man. :)
 
Sorry to hear that man. Don't worry to much about it, find someone new. But dude, if you find your doing all the work, and making so much effort and saying 'I love you' etc, it might seem strange, but it won't help. It's when you back off things tend to happen. Playing hard to get works.

But life goes on, you'll find someone else, and no doubt she'll get jealous. Then they might even fight over you ;-)
 
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