I haven't been updating every single day like I'd planned. But the good news is, while I may have abandonned that idea, I haven't abandonned the weight loss plan.
I think I've done a fairly decent job this first week. By tracking what I ate for the first 6 days, it's made me aware of roughly how many calories I'm used to consuming, and how easy it is to overeat (I can eat a reasonable amount of calories and still be full, or pig out on chocolate at night for the same result - the only difference is several hundred calories! So, it's all about smart choices, and not giving in to temptation too often).
My biggest challenges right now are to drink more water and get more exercise. I'm doing better than I used to, but still need to improve in both these areas. Maybe it's psychological, but I do notice I have a bit more energy already (but, there's no denying that I don't get as "winded" after taking the stairs as I did two months ago), so that's encouraging.
The issue of weight came up with my best friend last night. He lost over 100 lbs when he was in his late teens, but I don't think he went about it in a very healthy way (he's actually underweight now, and has a horrible diet, which concerns me a lot). He isn't someone I'd want to count on for a lot of support; I know he doesn't mean to be, but he's kind of the opposite sometimes. While he'd never criticize me, the way he talks about obesity in general annoys me - he's so judgmental. I'm not completely sure if I'm angry with him or myself, though.
I'm pretty ashamed of myself for letting myself get so out of shape, and for letting myself gain this much weight. I keep thinking "if only I'd cared enough to lose weight 50 lbs ago..."
At least I'm doing it now.
I'm planning to go home tomorrow, so hope things will go well. Being home is nice, but the food issue drives me crazy sometimes - while it's my responsibility now, I didn't become a "fat kid" all on my own..food is an obsession in my family! My mom has good intentions, but constantly pushes food. Even when she knows I'm trying to lose weight, and is trying to be supportive, she seems unaware of proper portion sizes, and completely oblivious to calories sometimes. And forget asking her to let me make my own meals - she just gets insulted, and by the next day, she's cooking again. Despite my living away from home for the past few years, when I am home, she doesn't seem to trust me to eat "proper meals." While I know that it's up to me and only me to decide what I'll eat, and how much of it I'll eat, I really don't appreciate the extra temptation. Another bad thing is that my mom always buys plenty of "bad" foods to "keep on hand" - I'd prefer there not be so much tempting food in the house, but I guess that's something I need to learn to deal with.
Her eating habits were 5x worse than mine over Christmas, but before I left, I think I convinced her to make some changes. From what she's told me, it seems like she's working on losing weight now too, so I really hope there won't be any food-related stress this weekend!
I'm also a little anxious to see what the scale says tomorrow. I really hope I've lost a bit already.
Good luck with your goals, everyone!