100 Days
- Thread starter Milanica
- Start date
Thank you Cate, very much. I cannot remember from which email I created Milanica account. But it is ok, Jela is also fine.
Today I ate 260g of chocolate. Typical me.
And I will be even more fat if I continue. And now I look horrendous to me. I don't have that feeling, but when I see myself in the pictures, it is when it hits me.
I always make rigid plans that are hard to follow.
But, I cannot do it differently, I'm just like that.
So, the new plan is: wake up at 6AM, one glass of water with lemon and some honey. Relax, bathroom, making the bed, refreshing, enjoying the morning till 6.30AM - breakfast time. Oatmeal with berries, some honey and almond butter. Relax a bit more, be happy and prepare for work. 7AM working - till noon. Go to the shop to buy groceries if needed, prepare lunch, relax a bit, enjoy the day, reflect, relax some more, till 1PM. Then working again till 6PM. Then go for a walk, or shopping, or to the beach, or seeing some people, relaxing, enjoying, reading, listening to music, sightseeing, whatever my heart desires, and dinner time around 7PM. 9PM at home, shower, relaxing, reflecting, being calm, solving any conflicts I have, working on being stronger, more myself, working on my self-confidence. Then completely relaxing, and ideally sleeping at 10PM.
That's when I'm working from home, which I plan on doing in the following weeks.
So, working a lot, being focused on that, and relaxing. Solving any bitter feelings that I have, making them sweet or neutral, dissolving them. Taking it easy, step by step.
Let see how it will go.
Today I ate 260g of chocolate. Typical me.
And I will be even more fat if I continue. And now I look horrendous to me. I don't have that feeling, but when I see myself in the pictures, it is when it hits me.
I always make rigid plans that are hard to follow.
But, I cannot do it differently, I'm just like that.
So, the new plan is: wake up at 6AM, one glass of water with lemon and some honey. Relax, bathroom, making the bed, refreshing, enjoying the morning till 6.30AM - breakfast time. Oatmeal with berries, some honey and almond butter. Relax a bit more, be happy and prepare for work. 7AM working - till noon. Go to the shop to buy groceries if needed, prepare lunch, relax a bit, enjoy the day, reflect, relax some more, till 1PM. Then working again till 6PM. Then go for a walk, or shopping, or to the beach, or seeing some people, relaxing, enjoying, reading, listening to music, sightseeing, whatever my heart desires, and dinner time around 7PM. 9PM at home, shower, relaxing, reflecting, being calm, solving any conflicts I have, working on being stronger, more myself, working on my self-confidence. Then completely relaxing, and ideally sleeping at 10PM.
That's when I'm working from home, which I plan on doing in the following weeks.
So, working a lot, being focused on that, and relaxing. Solving any bitter feelings that I have, making them sweet or neutral, dissolving them. Taking it easy, step by step.
Let see how it will go.
Thanks Cate! I like the plan, it's just that I don't follow it.
Last night I could not fall asleep, it was maybe around 3 AM. So I've waken up this morning at 11 something.
But ok. I ate well. For breakfast, the perfect combination for me, I love love that breakfast. Oats cooked with almond milk, a drizzle of honey, strawberries, banana and a spoon of almond butter. Perfection!
For a lunch I will make a pea soup with carrots, onions and potatoes. And for dinner I will have a mix of salads, with grilled mushrooms, paprika, olives, onions, and tuna. And some dark bread super tasty with different nuts, for both lunch and dinner. I also drink mango juice. I usually don't drink juices, because I think they have a lot of calories, but I am trying to quit sugar, and I need something sweet in this inbetween period, when cravings are still strong. But I know if I continue not eating sweets eventually the craving will stop. I tried that several times, and it is always like that. In the beginning it is hard, it is like a fight, but as the time goes on, it is easier and easier.
Last night I could not fall asleep, it was maybe around 3 AM. So I've waken up this morning at 11 something.
But ok. I ate well. For breakfast, the perfect combination for me, I love love that breakfast. Oats cooked with almond milk, a drizzle of honey, strawberries, banana and a spoon of almond butter. Perfection!
For a lunch I will make a pea soup with carrots, onions and potatoes. And for dinner I will have a mix of salads, with grilled mushrooms, paprika, olives, onions, and tuna. And some dark bread super tasty with different nuts, for both lunch and dinner. I also drink mango juice. I usually don't drink juices, because I think they have a lot of calories, but I am trying to quit sugar, and I need something sweet in this inbetween period, when cravings are still strong. But I know if I continue not eating sweets eventually the craving will stop. I tried that several times, and it is always like that. In the beginning it is hard, it is like a fight, but as the time goes on, it is easier and easier.
It is going well. I resisted the huge temptation to buy a chocolate, and instead botught mango juice. I made the lunch, just the carrots were burned and I started with them, so had to remove them. I feel nourished and nice. Home coocked food is the best for me, it has a healing power, I don´t know how but it is like that. Tomorrow I will go to work, and will eat at a restaurant for lunch. For dinner we will see. I have peas left, so maybe peas and chicken. But will see.
I have a strong feeling that I have to heal. I am supersensitive. Everything affects me. But instead of focusing on others, and how to deal with them, which I also have to do, I will focus on loving myself. And loving others. Problems exists. I will try to define them and to solve them. But slowly. Help is appreciated.
First example.
I was talking to a friend on Sunday whom I miss and love very much. It was a pleasant conversation. In the middle of it, she had another call, and told me to wait a bit. But that bit turned into 40 min. She apologized and I said that it is ok. But it was not ok for me. I want to express myself, not to argue or make an unpleasent scene, but to say, yes it took you long, is everything ok? Or something like that. I feel like she disrespect me. That was rude. But that is on her. On me is to react.
Then other thing. She is very tall and I am very short. But I never said anything bad about tall people in my life. Why would I? I don't think, feel anything bad about that. But she, well quite often, puts down short women. For example, she said about a girl: she is not beautiful at all, she is short ( and the girl in question is like 4 inches taller than me). Then, about a wife of her brother: she is normal height, she is 5' 75'' (that is not normal height in my country that is tall), thanks god she is not short.
I don't take this personaly, I suppose she has some issues with her height 6'2''. I find it beautiful. She is beautiful. And I am sure she is not saying any of this with bad intentions towards me. She simply thinks like that and she is saying it. But it is not nice. Because I am short 5'2''. And I never said anything about it. But I should have a reaction. I want to have a reaction and stand up for myself (and all the other short girls hahaha).
I never say anything. And people sometimes give themeselves the right to talk whatever they want, which is often untrue, or it hurts. And I just don't respond. But would love to. To stand up for the truth and for myself. I would really like that. That is my second and last goal for 2022 (first is of course to lose weight). To respect myself, and to protect myself. First step in that direction is to not be quiet.
I have a strong feeling that I have to heal. I am supersensitive. Everything affects me. But instead of focusing on others, and how to deal with them, which I also have to do, I will focus on loving myself. And loving others. Problems exists. I will try to define them and to solve them. But slowly. Help is appreciated.
First example.
I was talking to a friend on Sunday whom I miss and love very much. It was a pleasant conversation. In the middle of it, she had another call, and told me to wait a bit. But that bit turned into 40 min. She apologized and I said that it is ok. But it was not ok for me. I want to express myself, not to argue or make an unpleasent scene, but to say, yes it took you long, is everything ok? Or something like that. I feel like she disrespect me. That was rude. But that is on her. On me is to react.
Then other thing. She is very tall and I am very short. But I never said anything bad about tall people in my life. Why would I? I don't think, feel anything bad about that. But she, well quite often, puts down short women. For example, she said about a girl: she is not beautiful at all, she is short ( and the girl in question is like 4 inches taller than me). Then, about a wife of her brother: she is normal height, she is 5' 75'' (that is not normal height in my country that is tall), thanks god she is not short.
I don't take this personaly, I suppose she has some issues with her height 6'2''. I find it beautiful. She is beautiful. And I am sure she is not saying any of this with bad intentions towards me. She simply thinks like that and she is saying it. But it is not nice. Because I am short 5'2''. And I never said anything about it. But I should have a reaction. I want to have a reaction and stand up for myself (and all the other short girls hahaha).
I never say anything. And people sometimes give themeselves the right to talk whatever they want, which is often untrue, or it hurts. And I just don't respond. But would love to. To stand up for the truth and for myself. I would really like that. That is my second and last goal for 2022 (first is of course to lose weight). To respect myself, and to protect myself. First step in that direction is to not be quiet.
My mom says as long as your feet reach the floor when you stand up your legs are long enough. I used to be jealous of petite girls because they looked so much prettier! Your friend is clearly not being very nice to you and it would be interesting to see what happens if you say something like "ouch, that hurt my feelings" the next time. If she apologizes and is more careful in the future she can still be a good friend but if she tells you she didn't mean you and you shouldn't take things personally... That would not be a good sign.
I agree about homecooked meals being so much better for you, by the way. Most restaurants and almost all ready meals are kind of gross even if they taste nice at first.
I agree about homecooked meals being so much better for you, by the way. Most restaurants and almost all ready meals are kind of gross even if they taste nice at first.
Cate
Long term member
I think learning to speak up for yourself is really important.
with LaMa here & that sounds like a good approach. Often people are just not aware that they are judgy & rude. I have always been super sensitive & easily hurt & have really had to work on speaking up for myself.Building your own self-confidence is probably the best place to start. I started a thread years ago when I was really needing motivation & a boost. There's a lot there & you could write down a few of the sayings that might be appropriate for you. You'll find it at https://www.fitness.com/en/forum/threads/motivational-sayings-and-or-affirmations.328990/
I just had a look & found this on the first page-
"It matters little what others say.
What matters is how I react & what I believe"
Llama, Cate! Thank you girls so much for the support!
The food is going well and not so well at the same time. With me everything is emotional.
Yesterday we ate at a restaurant, it was fine. After work we went for the drinks, and also had dinner.
I love my collegues. They are nice and very interesting people. Love spending time with them.
But there is a probem, of course.
I don't talk much. I am in a 'being a boring person' phase. But, when I say something I feel very bad. I have very strict opinions, but with no arguments. I would have to think about arguments, which I don't. So I just spill opinions which are controversal. I think I might be right oriented politically, but I am kind of unaware of that, I suprise myself when I say something. I am ashamed of some of my points on view. But I do feel what I am saying, no denying. So I am in a conflict with myself about that.
The best remedy for me would be not to be bothered about that. But I am alive and I want to express myself, but it is stupid to spill unpopular opinions for which you have no argumets. I could maybe practice here. To try and express myself in a civilized manner. This is a safe zone.
So, after spending time with people, I feel so drained. Like I don't have an atom of energy. I feel unloved. Not that somedbody is not treating me right, but in my country I have a family who loves me very much, and friends with whom I may express myself freely and with whom I feel loved. So this changig of country is hard on me. In my country I recieve love daily, and here I feel distant with people. But I am being negative again. I focus on people who don't express love towards me. And I drawn in that. But there are people who like me, I should focus on that.
I miss my country so much, parks, streets, people, . Everything. Sometimes I forget that I am not there, I just think 'when I finish work I will go in that park' then I remember I am not in Serbia anymore. And it hits me hard. But I should give a chance to Barcelona which is one of the most beautiful cities in the world. I should enjoy it more. I am here for 5-6 months so far. I should stay for 3 years. Maybe this is just a crisis which will pass.
So, yesterday after the bar, to relax I ate a whole bar of chocolate. It would be better if I have eaten fruits, which also works for me.
I couldn't fall asleep till 2AM because I was feeling bad about myself. I had to visit a doctor this mornig. I didn't have time to prepare breakfast, because I woke up so late, so I ate some pastries from bakery. More sugar!
Ok. Let's conclude. I want to focus on positive things. Definetely. But also I have to adress what are my needs. But calmly, just adress it. Not getting lost in negativity. And slowly working on them.
I have two goals for 2022: to lose weight, and to be more confident, more myself, more stable. To love and appreciate myself. And to be more positive, which will naturally result from being more stable.
I wrote a lot, but it is ok I need it.
First goal, the steps:
sleep a lot, go to bed early, wake up early
don't eat sweets
always have a variety of fruits in the house
plan and prepare lunches and dinners
Second goal, the steps:
be positive
address negative things calmly with a positive outlook
accept yourself, and love yourself
notice and nurture your needs
The food is going well and not so well at the same time. With me everything is emotional.
Yesterday we ate at a restaurant, it was fine. After work we went for the drinks, and also had dinner.
I love my collegues. They are nice and very interesting people. Love spending time with them.
But there is a probem, of course.
I don't talk much. I am in a 'being a boring person' phase. But, when I say something I feel very bad. I have very strict opinions, but with no arguments. I would have to think about arguments, which I don't. So I just spill opinions which are controversal. I think I might be right oriented politically, but I am kind of unaware of that, I suprise myself when I say something. I am ashamed of some of my points on view. But I do feel what I am saying, no denying. So I am in a conflict with myself about that.
The best remedy for me would be not to be bothered about that. But I am alive and I want to express myself, but it is stupid to spill unpopular opinions for which you have no argumets. I could maybe practice here. To try and express myself in a civilized manner. This is a safe zone.
So, after spending time with people, I feel so drained. Like I don't have an atom of energy. I feel unloved. Not that somedbody is not treating me right, but in my country I have a family who loves me very much, and friends with whom I may express myself freely and with whom I feel loved. So this changig of country is hard on me. In my country I recieve love daily, and here I feel distant with people. But I am being negative again. I focus on people who don't express love towards me. And I drawn in that. But there are people who like me, I should focus on that.
I miss my country so much, parks, streets, people, . Everything. Sometimes I forget that I am not there, I just think 'when I finish work I will go in that park' then I remember I am not in Serbia anymore. And it hits me hard. But I should give a chance to Barcelona which is one of the most beautiful cities in the world. I should enjoy it more. I am here for 5-6 months so far. I should stay for 3 years. Maybe this is just a crisis which will pass.
So, yesterday after the bar, to relax I ate a whole bar of chocolate. It would be better if I have eaten fruits, which also works for me.
I couldn't fall asleep till 2AM because I was feeling bad about myself. I had to visit a doctor this mornig. I didn't have time to prepare breakfast, because I woke up so late, so I ate some pastries from bakery. More sugar!
Ok. Let's conclude. I want to focus on positive things. Definetely. But also I have to adress what are my needs. But calmly, just adress it. Not getting lost in negativity. And slowly working on them.
I have two goals for 2022: to lose weight, and to be more confident, more myself, more stable. To love and appreciate myself. And to be more positive, which will naturally result from being more stable.
I wrote a lot, but it is ok I need it.
First goal, the steps:
sleep a lot, go to bed early, wake up early
don't eat sweets
always have a variety of fruits in the house
plan and prepare lunches and dinners
Second goal, the steps:
be positive
address negative things calmly with a positive outlook
accept yourself, and love yourself
notice and nurture your needs
I think the "average" political outlook in Serbia may be different enough from the one in Spain that things which used to feel uncontroversial to you suddenly aren´t. Having basic assumptions challenged like that when you´ve never really questioned them before (and therefore don´t have reasons/arguments for them) is scary and exhausting! So I think it´s normal to feel a bit like a fish out of water among your colleagues sometimes.
Cate
Long term member
You seem very self-aware & that is a good thing. I like your goals. If I feel that I have views that are not considered acceptable to the people I meet I do look at my views & query myself. I think that's healthy. I don't think any of us are perfect by any means. I'm glad you feel this is a safe place. I'm sure most of us in the forum have differing views, but rarely do we argue.
Gracias chicas muchisimo!! I really appreciate your support and point of you.
It never occured to me to look at the situation from an outer perspective of different cultures, I always assume something is wrong with me personally.
Yesterday I went on a date. It was nice. We spoke in spanish which I appreciate, I love the language. He is a musician so after we went to an open mic where he played with his band. But there is no chemistry between us, so maybe we could hang out as friends. I met his friends which are very nice, and I felt very well. But, nontheless I ate a whole bar of chocolate on my way home. So, feeling drained was obviously just an excuse.
Today I spent the whole day with some friends I made which are super super nice, and I feel great with them. I am still quiet, but that is just how I am these days. But it felt great, there is one guy, from Italy, he has a great sense of humor, I just laughed so much. Fanstastic day we had. And yeah, we spoke in spanish the whole day, which makes me happy.
And of course on my way home I ate a bar of chocolate. That is so unnecessary, unhealthy and I will never achieve my goal if I continue like that. I need something sweet for sure, but I can eat a bowl of fruits, with some almond butter, or yogurt. I have to stop with chocolates.
It never occured to me to look at the situation from an outer perspective of different cultures, I always assume something is wrong with me personally.
Yesterday I went on a date. It was nice. We spoke in spanish which I appreciate, I love the language. He is a musician so after we went to an open mic where he played with his band. But there is no chemistry between us, so maybe we could hang out as friends. I met his friends which are very nice, and I felt very well. But, nontheless I ate a whole bar of chocolate on my way home. So, feeling drained was obviously just an excuse.
Today I spent the whole day with some friends I made which are super super nice, and I feel great with them. I am still quiet, but that is just how I am these days. But it felt great, there is one guy, from Italy, he has a great sense of humor, I just laughed so much. Fanstastic day we had. And yeah, we spoke in spanish the whole day, which makes me happy.
And of course on my way home I ate a bar of chocolate. That is so unnecessary, unhealthy and I will never achieve my goal if I continue like that. I need something sweet for sure, but I can eat a bowl of fruits, with some almond butter, or yogurt. I have to stop with chocolates.
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Today was a nice day. I went to a restaurant with friends. It was chilled. It is an very old traditional style restaurant in one small city on the sea. The food is amazing, very authentic. We ate calcots, which is typical for this time of the year. It is a grilled type of an onion and you eat it with romanesco sauce (tomatoes and nuts). We also ate artichokes, snails, lobster, rabbit, chicken, beef, lamb, a ton of different type of sausages. It was amazing! But we all wanted to die after so much food.
For breakfast I had a banana. And for dinner half an orange. And that is it.
As for the social aspect, I went we a friend from work, she is Serbian and she is very nice. Funny, relaxed, extremely socially intelligent, the heart of every party. There was also a collegue from work from China. I love him. He is super nice, I believe we have a great comunication. I love spending time with him. And also some other people I don't know that well, all very nice.
When I think about it, the only problem I have with someone is a colleque from Columbia. He acts strange. He is openly hating me at moments. But we had a short affair, thanks god I didn't had sex with him, we just kissed. And he has a girlfriend in Columbia, but he has told me, one night stand doesn't count as cheating. Interesting... I fell in love with him the first day I saw him, he was increidibly nice, and I fell for that. But now, he acts like I am the most boring person in the universe, rolling his eyes when he has to spend some time with me, very obviously excluding me from hanging with him and whoever is around. Acting like a jerk, to be honest. I know I am boring, and I think I know why.
This is a safe place so I can write here. But, when all this craziness with covid started, I was so extremely affraid, I had a nervous breakdown. And I have to take therapy. It works well for me, the fear dissapeared completely, I feel stable and I can sleep well. I am less sensitive than usual (normaly I am hyper sensitive). But the side effects are gaining weight and being a little bit slow, less energetic, thinking slower and so on. I usually talk and laugh a lot, now I am a little bit dead. And even people who don't know me from before notice that. That I am distant and quiet. My sister is especially worried that I changed a lot. We asked a doctor and he told that it is ok, if I don't have anything to talk about, that is completely fine. So, I know I have to be especially gentle towards myself until I completely recover. So my two goals are to beat the side effects of the drug - to lose weight, and to accept myself the way I am now. The most important thing is not to put too much pressure on myself.
For breakfast I had a banana. And for dinner half an orange. And that is it.
As for the social aspect, I went we a friend from work, she is Serbian and she is very nice. Funny, relaxed, extremely socially intelligent, the heart of every party. There was also a collegue from work from China. I love him. He is super nice, I believe we have a great comunication. I love spending time with him. And also some other people I don't know that well, all very nice.
When I think about it, the only problem I have with someone is a colleque from Columbia. He acts strange. He is openly hating me at moments. But we had a short affair, thanks god I didn't had sex with him, we just kissed. And he has a girlfriend in Columbia, but he has told me, one night stand doesn't count as cheating. Interesting... I fell in love with him the first day I saw him, he was increidibly nice, and I fell for that. But now, he acts like I am the most boring person in the universe, rolling his eyes when he has to spend some time with me, very obviously excluding me from hanging with him and whoever is around. Acting like a jerk, to be honest. I know I am boring, and I think I know why.
This is a safe place so I can write here. But, when all this craziness with covid started, I was so extremely affraid, I had a nervous breakdown. And I have to take therapy. It works well for me, the fear dissapeared completely, I feel stable and I can sleep well. I am less sensitive than usual (normaly I am hyper sensitive). But the side effects are gaining weight and being a little bit slow, less energetic, thinking slower and so on. I usually talk and laugh a lot, now I am a little bit dead. And even people who don't know me from before notice that. That I am distant and quiet. My sister is especially worried that I changed a lot. We asked a doctor and he told that it is ok, if I don't have anything to talk about, that is completely fine. So, I know I have to be especially gentle towards myself until I completely recover. So my two goals are to beat the side effects of the drug - to lose weight, and to accept myself the way I am now. The most important thing is not to put too much pressure on myself.
The Columbian guy sounds like he's trying to give himself an attitude because things didn't work out between you two. Like "I didn't want you anyway" except he did and is feeling angry about it. Or afraid you'll tell other people and his girlfriend might find out. Not your problem to fix, but how annoying that you have to deal with it.
I'm glad therapy worked well for you! I know for me when I got better after years of bad mood swings, depression, and panic attacks I almost missed it at first because life felt so bland. but it got better after a while.
I'm glad therapy worked well for you! I know for me when I got better after years of bad mood swings, depression, and panic attacks I almost missed it at first because life felt so bland. but it got better after a while.
Uf it was a rough day today. And I ate very badly.
So let's review it.
I could barely wake up this morning, literaly had to drag myself out of bad. Prepared the luch, salat with a little bit of tartar sauce, olives and eggs, and some nice bread. Did my morning routine, but forgot to eat breakfast. So I bought one croissant with chocolate. Then I relaized I forgot the fork, so went to a cafe to ask for a disposable one, but then I saw a coockie. Perfect triple chocolate coockie, and bought it. I enjoyed every little piece of it. Had realy rough meeting at work, where I learned the boss thinks I am too slow, so they assigned me to a different supervisor to help me. She is very nice, I like working with her. But she told me they want to give her my project, since I don't have results, but she wants to help me to finish it. We will see. But it was so draining learning people above you think your work sucks. And that you are not good enough.
So I felt very bad, which is not an excuse. I feel super super tired and I've just let myself go, when it comes to food. I ate another chocolate croissant after work, then another one. Then I prepared a small portion of tortelini with a piece of goat cheese. I am so full now. But I'm just eating carbs and sweets. No fruits, no vegetables.
That is why I am fat. I just let myself go. I have to lose 30 kg, and this is not a way to go. On Thursday we have a group meeting, where we present what we have done the previous week. And last few meetings my work was criticized a lot. So this today should not be a surprise. But nontheless it felt bad. I am afraid, very much, that I am not good enough for this job.
I feel like somebody was beating me. Litteraly. My head hurts, and I am so so so tired.
I feel like a failure. Especially when it comes to food. But I don't want to criticize myself. Let's be real and see what I can do.
First of all I cannot work from home, I am not productive. I have to go to the office.
Second I cannot for the love of god, wake up before 9. We all work from 11 to 19. It was strange to me, but there is something here, I cannot wake up early.
Third, I have to eat better. Everything else is hard to control, people, work... But food is easy. Plan what you want to eat, buy the food, and prepare it. That is all. It is not hard, and I should do it.
For tomorrow. For breakfast I will eat oats with strawberries, half a banana, and a teaspoon of almond butter. For lunch bell pepper with goat cheese. That is not enough for luch, so I will bring half of banana for after the work and an orange. For dinner ravioli and goat cheese.
So let's review it.
I could barely wake up this morning, literaly had to drag myself out of bad. Prepared the luch, salat with a little bit of tartar sauce, olives and eggs, and some nice bread. Did my morning routine, but forgot to eat breakfast. So I bought one croissant with chocolate. Then I relaized I forgot the fork, so went to a cafe to ask for a disposable one, but then I saw a coockie. Perfect triple chocolate coockie, and bought it. I enjoyed every little piece of it. Had realy rough meeting at work, where I learned the boss thinks I am too slow, so they assigned me to a different supervisor to help me. She is very nice, I like working with her. But she told me they want to give her my project, since I don't have results, but she wants to help me to finish it. We will see. But it was so draining learning people above you think your work sucks. And that you are not good enough.
So I felt very bad, which is not an excuse. I feel super super tired and I've just let myself go, when it comes to food. I ate another chocolate croissant after work, then another one. Then I prepared a small portion of tortelini with a piece of goat cheese. I am so full now. But I'm just eating carbs and sweets. No fruits, no vegetables.
That is why I am fat. I just let myself go. I have to lose 30 kg, and this is not a way to go. On Thursday we have a group meeting, where we present what we have done the previous week. And last few meetings my work was criticized a lot. So this today should not be a surprise. But nontheless it felt bad. I am afraid, very much, that I am not good enough for this job.
I feel like somebody was beating me. Litteraly. My head hurts, and I am so so so tired.
I feel like a failure. Especially when it comes to food. But I don't want to criticize myself. Let's be real and see what I can do.
First of all I cannot work from home, I am not productive. I have to go to the office.
Second I cannot for the love of god, wake up before 9. We all work from 11 to 19. It was strange to me, but there is something here, I cannot wake up early.
Third, I have to eat better. Everything else is hard to control, people, work... But food is easy. Plan what you want to eat, buy the food, and prepare it. That is all. It is not hard, and I should do it.
For tomorrow. For breakfast I will eat oats with strawberries, half a banana, and a teaspoon of almond butter. For lunch bell pepper with goat cheese. That is not enough for luch, so I will bring half of banana for after the work and an orange. For dinner ravioli and goat cheese.
Cate
Long term member
You will feel so much better about everything if you can get into a really healthy eating plan & get some exercise as well. If I eat rubbish I feel like I am rubbish. We really do deserve to look after ourselves & nourish our bodies. Don't forget to stay hydrated. Water is so important. You can do this!
Thanks Cate!! You are absolutely right. I ate well today, and I feel so much better.
Llama, we have a lunch break, around 13h, and it usually takes an hour. So we practically work for 7 hours.
I hope it will be better. Because I am really bad right now. My sister thinks that all my frustrations actually come from not being good at work. I then project onto the social situations. Maybe she is right.
Today food wise:
breakfast - oats, strawberries, banana, a spoon of almond butter, a drizzle of honey
lunch - tortellini with goat cheese and caramelized onions, small portion
snack - an orange, a banana
dinner - half a carrot, half a cucamber, a piece of paprika and hummus
after dinner - a banana, strawberries, raspberries, some soya yogurt and a spoon of almond butter
So for lunch I would like to eat vegetables, not pasta. And I ate three bananas. They are small, but still. But I think for me, this is not a lot. And for me this is very healthy, comparing to how I normaly eat.
Llama, we have a lunch break, around 13h, and it usually takes an hour. So we practically work for 7 hours.
I hope it will be better. Because I am really bad right now. My sister thinks that all my frustrations actually come from not being good at work. I then project onto the social situations. Maybe she is right.
Today food wise:
breakfast - oats, strawberries, banana, a spoon of almond butter, a drizzle of honey
lunch - tortellini with goat cheese and caramelized onions, small portion
snack - an orange, a banana
dinner - half a carrot, half a cucamber, a piece of paprika and hummus
after dinner - a banana, strawberries, raspberries, some soya yogurt and a spoon of almond butter
So for lunch I would like to eat vegetables, not pasta. And I ate three bananas. They are small, but still. But I think for me, this is not a lot. And for me this is very healthy, comparing to how I normaly eat.