"Body Over Mind"
We've all heard the expression, "Mind over body" but there are times when your mind is exactly where it should be and your body can't seem to catch up. I'd been running and racing for a few years including two half marathons and a 187 mile relay race called the Ragnar Relay Del Sol. I'm addicted to racing. I'm very goal oriented and love having that date penciled in on the calendar. I'm not the fastest one out there, but I'm usually a middle of the packer and proud of it. I was improving my times with every race I did. I was training for my first sprint triathlon when I started getting nausea in the mornings. I took a pregnancy test the week of my triathlon and low and behold, I was pregnant with my second child! My other daughter was 7 years old so I was a little slow on the uptake when I began to have symptoms. Not to say the pregnancy was unplanned, it's just that training dominated my every thought. I called my Doctor to ask if I should still do the triathlon and he advised me to go ahead with it but not kick up the intensity level. If my body was trained, I would be just fine. The race was a lot of fun with the exception of the heat (May in Arizona is usually hot) and I was pleased with my performance. I was six weeks along and it was to be my last race until the baby was born in January so I wanted to go out with a bang.
Since I had already been cross training in preparation for the triathlon I was in pretty good shape. Even though my Doctor said I could keep up everything, I decided to give up running mainly because I am one of those people who are freaked out by seeing pregnant women run. Plus, I was so active I figured I would never miss it. The first few months were easy because the Arizona summers are brutal. Even if you run at 5:00 AM the temperature could be 90 degrees. By September, the racing season was once again upon us and I watched my friends participate in races we usually did together. I had accepted the fact that I couldn't run and spent my days spinning, swimming, walking, using the elliptical, lifting weights and doing pre natal yoga. I understood pregnancy was a temporary condition and figured I was doing all I could to stay in shape and that I would be back with a vengeance once the baby arrived.
Arrive she did on January 9, 2008. A beautiful, healthy 8 lb. girl who we named Allison. I had gained a respectable 34 lbs. and figured the weight would melt right off since I'd done so much exercise while pregnant. Two weeks after the birth, I developed a complication requiring minor surgery which slowed my recovery a bit. I went to my OB/GYN four weeks after the birth and he said I could "resume normal activity". Of course, if you're a runner that means running so I immediately went to the gym to use the treadmill. I can honestly say I never intended to run that day – it just sort of happened. I felt pretty good and was walking briskly when I decided to increase the speed a little. Next thing I new I was going at an 11 minute pace and polished off two miles! My pelvis ached and I almost peed myself but I pushed through. I nearly cried because I had missed running so much and was overjoyed to actually do it again after 9 months off.
I ran for the next few weeks - keeping the mileage and speed low at first and increasing just about a mile a week. I set my sights on the same triathlon I'd done last May so I started training again. I had something to prove to myself and wanted to show I could do two triathlons in a year – while having a baby in between! The weight had come off pretty quickly in 3 months with the exception of 5 lbs. so I figured a race would be just what I needed to shed the last of it. My first official race back was a local splash and dash where we swam 500 meters followed by a 5K run. I decided I would use this race as "training" and not really compete. The swim went just fine but I got some side stitches. They plagued me the entire run and I felt very sluggish. Then, with approximately a half mile to go I saw a big guy who was really struggling so I decided to give him some encouragement in hopes I could push myself too. I ran up beside him and started saying things like, "C'mon you can do it!" and "You don't want me to get ahead of you, do you?" He smiled slyly and pushed himself to go faster. As he sped up, I sped up. This cat and mouse game continued for a little while when suddenly I felt my breakfast coming up. I had felt that way after a race before, but never during so I kept running. Hindsight is always 20/20. I should have stopped and walked, but I kept pushing. My mind was saying things like "Your body is back to normal, you can do this!" But I was in no way back to normal. I started heaving and couldn't stop. I stupidly continued to run thinking it would pass, but it didn't. I finally had to walk to the finish where I contemplated jumping in the lake we had just swam in to clean myself off. The competitor in me simply wouldn't let me have fun. It was a lesson in humility I will never forget.
Keep in mind, this little splash and dash was supposed to be training for the sprint triathlon the following weekend. I had paid the money, there were no refunds and all my girlfriends were doing it so I decided to just have fun with it. My friends and family kept saying "You just had a baby! What do you expect?" But the reality is that I wouldn't afford myself the luxury of making excuses – even if they were legitimate. The fact of the matter was my mind was prepared for racing, but my body wasn't even close.
The morning of the triathlon arrived and I was quite nervous. I was so afraid I would do something stupid and hurt myself but kept saying I was just doing it for fun. Once I resolved to simply enjoy the race instead of compete, I was able to let go and take in the sights and sounds I had missed so much during my hiatus. All in all, I did pretty well and had a lot of fun with my friends to boot. Now, I no longer race to obsess about my time. I realize that having your mind ready is a good thing but you have to give your body what it needs to be race ready – time to recover. That's the joy and agony of racing. For good or bad, you have to have fun with it even when your body betrays your mind. The experience also taught me that even when the number on the scale says your ideal weight, endurance is something else entirely. I'm working my way back slowly and I'll be at the top of my game again soon but if not, I will always race so I can have that date on the calendar and join in the fun. That's what my mind says; I just hope my body gets let in on it.
Body Over Mind
