In my years of working in gyms and training clients, I've come across some truly unique approaches to exercise. Unfortunately, "unique" in this context usually means dangerous, ineffective, or outright bizarre. These gym-goers often lacked proper instruction, leading to these hilarious (and alarming) workout choices. Here are some of the most outrageous exercises I've witnessed. Remember, these are examples of what NOT to do!
1. Dumbbell Hair Combs
This creative exercise involves holding a dumbbell in front of you, performing a front raise, and then whipping it back over your head as though combing your hair. The result? A near miss with your skull every time. If your goal is to look like a stylized action hero dodging punches, this might work, but for fitness? Not so much.
2. Hog-Tied Face-Rubs
Imagine lying on your stomach, grabbing your ankles behind your back, and rubbing your face vigorously against the floor. This move does absolutely nothing for your fitness but guarantees a sore face and a bewildered audience. Skip the face-rubs and stick to actual core exercises.
3. Abdominal Earthquakes
In the world of misguided ab exercises, this one takes the cake. It starts with a crunch position but quickly devolves into thrashing your legs in the air while yanking your head up and down as if repelling imaginary dogs. Your abs deserve better than this chaotic charade.
4. The Arm Wrecker
One rep with absurdly heavy weight followed by a dramatic windmill motion of your arms. The idea is to "pump blood" into the muscles, but in reality, you're risking joint damage and scaring everyone nearby. Keep your ego and your weights in check.
5. Pelvic Demolisher
Standing with your fingers interlocked behind your head, you thrust your pelvis forward and drop your spine backward in a motion that’s more suited to interpretive dance than fitness. This move does little for your muscles but a lot for your chiropractor's business.
6. Dumbbell Doggy Digs
Bend over with locked legs and a rounded back, then spin dumbbells close to the floor in rapid circles like a dog digging a hole. This "exercise" is a fast track to lower back pain. Instead, consider actual posterior chain exercises like deadlifts or good mornings.
7. Pec Rockets
Overloading the pec deck machine to the point of no return, these gym-goers end up flinging themselves off the machine. Think of it as a human cannonball act, but with more sweat and less applause. Proper form and appropriate weight selection are key.
8.Rush-Hour Bench Press
This involves abusing the foot pedal on a vertical chest press machine to bounce the weight up every rep. It’s cardio meets strength training in the worst way possible. Remember, control and technique are the cornerstones of effective lifting.
9. Close-Grip, Behind-The-Neck Shoulder Press
With hands uncomfortably close on the bar, the exerciser leans forward and rounds their back to press the bar behind their head. This move combines poor biomechanics with a recipe for shoulder and lower back trauma. Opt for safer overhead press variations instead.
10. C.P.R. Bench Press
This dangerous move involves attempting to bench press a weight far beyond your capacity, relying entirely on your spotter to save you after every failed rep. It’s less of a workout and more of a liability. Always lift within your means and use proper technique.
These examples highlight the importance of proper form, technique, and guidance when exercising. While some may find these moves amusing, they pose significant risks of injury and do little to improve fitness. If you're ever unsure about an exercise, consult a fitness professional. Not only will they help you avoid the pitfalls of "outrageous" exercises, but they’ll also ensure you’re on the right path to achieving your fitness goals.
References
1. American Council on Exercise (ACE). "Exercise Safety and Proper Technique."
2. Schoenfeld, B. J. (2010). "The Mechanisms of Muscle Hypertrophy and Their Application to Resistance Training." Journal of Strength and Conditioning Research, 24(10), 2857–2872.
3. National Strength and Conditioning Association (NSCA). "Safe Lifting Practices."
