Rachierach33
New member
Hi. Newbie here. 35years old. Mom of 3. I've never posted on one of these before but I need advice and encouragement and I just can't seem to bring myself talk to my friends and family about this. I have on and off dieted my whole life. Overweight as a kid. Lost 100 plus pounds in college and got down to 115. Immediately became popular and well liked which started my internal conflict with secretly despising losing weight and how it shows you people's true colors. Maintained that for several years. Gained at 24 and then lost it all again. Maintained at 145 for another 6 years (using hot yoga as my way to balance out my secret binging at night). At 32, I became ill and I tore my hamstring during yoga class one day and everything changed. Had to take steroids and cortisone shots. Stopped doing yoga and gained a ton of weight. I'm 250 now. Miserable and for the first time in my life, every time I start a diet, I cheat and fail within the week (this is new as I use to commit to a diet hardcore). I don't know what to do or how to convince myself to get on track. I also feel so guilty because I have a lovely family and supportive husband and a wonderful home and lots of friends, so I feel like even more of a failure for not being able to get my you know what together. I feel like so many people have worse circumstances in life and they still eat well and exercise and it has just become this cycle of guilt and shame and eating junk alone at night when everyone else sleeps. I guess what I'm asking is, are there any other lifetime dieters out there that have ever just hit a bad dark wall with it? Like you know what you need to do to lose the weight but you can't seem to make it happen for the first time and you feel so much guilt over that? I would be so genuinely grateful for any advice or shared experiences that might help me get out of this awful rut I have found myself in. Thank you so much.
