You asked for it...I can't believe I'm telling this. :<( (nervous)
Ok...get comfy boys and girls, this is going to be a long one. It appears that I've dated some of Mal's ex's. LOL
My 1st Love:
Well, it wasn't really his fault that he was a jerk...he was young. I fell in love with him in 4th grade, pined over him til he became my boyfriend in 7th grade and dated him on and off until I graduated from high school...and some during my freshmen year of college. Why on and off you ask? Well...because I wouldn't have sex with him and while he "loved" me he "needed" sex. So, he'd be with me for as long as he could manage, either cheat or break up with me so he could be with someone else, all the while knowing that I still loved him and was waiting to take him back. Yea, it appears I've always been a dummy. I finally gave in my senior year of high school and had sex with him...why does no one tell you that the first time SUCKS?! A couple of months before graduation, we dated a few months into my freshmen year of college...and he disapeared. I hear he's unhappily married to a woman that won't allow him to have contact with the son he had before he married her.
Mr. "I Think He's The One for Me"
This would be my father's daughter. Started dating my senior year in college. I wasn't the slighest bit interested in him when I met him the first time, at a gym party. A mutual friend (or so I thought) asked me a few days later if she could give him my number because he had been asking about me. "Who?" I ask...couldn't remember him, but sure what the heck. He calls, seems nice enough. Turns out he's a football player...who knew? I loved sports but our team sucked so I wasn't really following the team. Anyway, we hit it off because of our mutual love of sports. We became really good friends and starting hanging out all the time when I noticed I knew all of his friends but he never came around any of mine. This bothered me, but he convinced me that I was "overanalyzing" the situation...this he says to the psych major, ok. So time passes and he is the sweetest, most attentive and affectionate guy I've ever known, never mind the fact that I've only had one real boyfriend...*rolls eyes at self* He's remembering the dates of our first kiss, our first date, our first everything and wanting to celebrate our 1 month anniversary, etc. I wasn't used to this, I thought he was wonderful. Meanwhile, SONIC BOOM...I go home for Christmas break and my dad moves out!
Christmas break my senior year in college my dad decides he's not happy and rather than tell anyone this he moves out (we're fine now, but that KILLED me, I'm a daddy's girl and life became VERY difficult for me at this point). Do you see where I'm going with this...my new wonderful boyfriend is there to pick up the pieces and I love him EVEN more now. Graduation, now I'm in grad school, I leave the state. He still calls, visits says he loves me but I think he's cheating...of course he denies this and we continue like this for a few years. Remember that mutual friend we had? Well turns out she's crushing on MY MAN and begins trying to sabotage this relationship. It works for about six months...then he comes to me pleading...on his knees even, crying, apologizing. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me, I'm sorry, I want us to be together forever." blah, blah, blah. I'm crying, I fall for it...BOOM, our...MY daughter is conceived. Two months later I tell him that I now know I'm pregnant, what happens? A new creature arises. He starts being ugly towards me when he feels like it and I feel more alone than ever. Since my dad had left, I felt he was all I had and now not so much. So I put up with it because I felt I needed him. Some days were better than others, but not many. My baby is born, he leaves the hospital to get a hair cut. I cry, my dad (who is there despite our problems and is a very conservative man is ready to kill him). He apologizes, at my father's stern request and we move on. He cheats on me the week after I have our daughter and tells me about it...but explains that I should be grateful because he didn't have to tell me.
You confused too? Ok...I deal with all this BS because I want a "family" for my baby but I'm utterly confused by how a man that started off as being so sweet and passionate and thoughtful had become "this." After about six months of this I decide I can't take it anymore. His mother begs and pleads, various other family members call on his behalf and I give in. He was good for about a month and started right back up. I lasted another 5 months and left for good. Once I finally had the strength to leave and eventually started dating someone else, seriously, he started with the "I want my family back." and did everything he could to break us up...he did and then he left too. Meanwhile he's been an on and off again type dad. He uses our daughter to manipulate me and hurts us both in the process. Currently he's "off" as I find out that he's engaged to be married and told our daughter not to tell me, along with a bunch of other stuff that she eventually told me. So, he says he's done with both of us.
MR. This is really IT this time
I'd known him since high school, was a good friend, his mom was my math teacher. We went to college together, never was attracted to him. He was very attractive, don't misundertand me but he was such a ladies man that I never seriously paid any attention to him. We were in the same "circle" so we were around each other alot, but that's it. About 3 months after I am OFFICIALLY done with my daughter's father, this guys mom (who still teaches at my old high school) called me to ask if she could give him my number. I had seen her earlier that day, had to do an emergency suicide training at that school (long story). I said yea,cool, I haven't seen him since college, that'll be great. We talked, caught up. He lived a few hours away but was coming home to see his mom and we agreed to meet up. We saw each other and sparks flew...just like in the movies, it was unreal. This guy that I had never seriously considered now looked so different to me. Things moved very fast and I thought I was in love. Everything was perfect, he was everything I thought a man should be. I thought, how wonderful. I've known him FOREVER and now we're in love, our families are friends this is wonderful. We started spending every minute together that we could and with one another's families. Next thing you know he's standing up at his family reuninon announcing that when "we" return next year I'll be his wife. I was FLOORED! He's GREAT, he loves my daughter, he loves me....life is great. We start visiting botanical gardens for the ceremony, ring/dress shopping. I'm looking for a job closer to him, he's looking for one closer to me. Long story short...I get a job in the same city as his...the day I get the call that the job is mine I get stopped by one of his mom's friends on my way home from work...she wants to tell me that he's been seeing his ex girlfriend. I'm floored. Two weeks later he's married to her and I'm in a new city all by myself with my daughter. Turns out she decided she wanted him and he couldn't say no. They had sex, she got pregnant and he did "the right thing" because he realized he was still in love with her. Needless to say I was CRUSHED. I put my faith in someone when I didn't think I had any left and I got rolled over with a bus.
So basically, this is where I am now. I've dated a few other guys here and there, but nothing really. I'm deathly afraid of love, but trying really hard to overcome my fear. I know I deserve better, I finally believe that, but I'm still nervous about men, relationships, love, etc. I started dating this guy jst to have a good time a year or so ago and all was fine until he decided he was in love with me...and then the games started. I care for him deeply but I know he's playing games and I'm trying to cut ties with him completely.
Damn...that's depressing, huh?
