My Dad got this list from work and it sure made me smile, hope it does same for you guys
				
			- A day with out sunshine is like night
 - on the other hand, you have different fingers
 - 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot
 - 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name
 - remember half the people you know are below average
 - he who laughs last, thinks the slowest
 - depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
 - the early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap
 - support bacteria. they're the only culture some people have
 - a clear concscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
 - change is inevitable except from vending machines
 - if you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments
 - how many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? raise my hand
 - Ok, so whats the speed of dark?
 - When everything is coming your way, your in the wrong lane.
 - Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now
 - how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges
 - eagles may soar, but weasels dont get sucked into jet engines
 - what happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
 - why do phsychics have to ask your name?
 - inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "what the heck happened"
 - Just remember- - if the world didnt suck, we would all fall off
 - light travels faster than sound. thats why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
 - life isnt like a box of chocolates. Its more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tommorow