WillSucceed
New member
Here it goes, this is the first day and I have made up my mind that no more excuses with family health issues coming first or the new job and not having time there will always be things going on in my life. I need to set my mind to this goal and make it a priority and stop letting fear control me.
I am 38 will be 39 the end of the month. I am tired of being fat and not feeling sexy. I want to be able to go into a normal store and by clothes that fit without having to look at plus sizes and feeling worse and like I am wearing a tent.
I am 5' 8" tall weigh 258 pounds. I wear a size 18/20.
My inlaws have recently had to be admitted to the nursing home which has required me to travel to IN every weekend since August. It is expensive and frustrating but it is the way it is and not taking control of my life is not going to change that fact.
I start a new job as a Data Administrator on October 17th and am so excited about this new opportunity. I could say there is enough stress without trying to lose the weight but that would only be an excuse. Just 2 years ago I was down to 205 but could never get below 200. What is different now? I know I can and must do this for me.
I went and met with a personal trainer last night. I could say that $55 an hour with a minimum of 10 sessions is too much money with all the other bills but reality is that is it? If you are eating out for lunch and spending 5 - 10 a day on that is that not close to what a trainer would be if you see them once a week. Ideally, I realize they would prefer 2 times a week but if I make the committment for 10 weeks, taht would take me to Dec 16. In 10 weeks if I could loose 20 to 30 pounds, I would be so motivated and the money would be so worth it. I need to think of it in that way. While I have the treadmill and exercise bike at home along with tapes, right now, I am letting other things get in the way. I need to be accountable to someone besides my husband because it is too easy to make excusees to him. I think this is the solution. I have a session scheduled for tomorrow for the first time to see what it would be like. THe reality is that I also have access to their equipment anytime not only when I have my appointment with the trainer so I can go and get away and take the time for myself. i think having to go somewhere else may be the true solution and on those days I just can't get there, then I need to make sure I use my personal equipment and tapes to make it work.
Eating needs to change to be planned and brought. Spending all the money eating out and grapping things is not only not healthy but also expensive and would pay for the trainer. It is not a justification it is a fact if you seriously look at the numbers.
I am off next week from both jobs while in IN all but Tues, Wed and Thurs, I do have those days to truly make a good start in getting things off on the right step. I need to find some good healthy quick recipies that will work for me and allow me to cook my husband and I a healthy meal and yet allow time to do workouts and other things that must be done.
I am hoping that by writing in this journal, I will find some strength and support and a way to dump feelings and emotions instead of turning to food during frustration and anger.
I can do this and I have to stop telling myself that I am a failure because I am not in any other aspect of my life so why should I think I am a failure and can not loose this weight only because of family and others views. When I decided to go back to college and work full time and finished my degree in 5 years of night school, I did not let negative people into my life it was a very strong step that I took and told myself I didnt' neeed that and the same is true with this journey. I need some postive support people to help me see that I can do this.
I am 38 will be 39 the end of the month. I am tired of being fat and not feeling sexy. I want to be able to go into a normal store and by clothes that fit without having to look at plus sizes and feeling worse and like I am wearing a tent.
I am 5' 8" tall weigh 258 pounds. I wear a size 18/20.
My inlaws have recently had to be admitted to the nursing home which has required me to travel to IN every weekend since August. It is expensive and frustrating but it is the way it is and not taking control of my life is not going to change that fact.
I start a new job as a Data Administrator on October 17th and am so excited about this new opportunity. I could say there is enough stress without trying to lose the weight but that would only be an excuse. Just 2 years ago I was down to 205 but could never get below 200. What is different now? I know I can and must do this for me.
I went and met with a personal trainer last night. I could say that $55 an hour with a minimum of 10 sessions is too much money with all the other bills but reality is that is it? If you are eating out for lunch and spending 5 - 10 a day on that is that not close to what a trainer would be if you see them once a week. Ideally, I realize they would prefer 2 times a week but if I make the committment for 10 weeks, taht would take me to Dec 16. In 10 weeks if I could loose 20 to 30 pounds, I would be so motivated and the money would be so worth it. I need to think of it in that way. While I have the treadmill and exercise bike at home along with tapes, right now, I am letting other things get in the way. I need to be accountable to someone besides my husband because it is too easy to make excusees to him. I think this is the solution. I have a session scheduled for tomorrow for the first time to see what it would be like. THe reality is that I also have access to their equipment anytime not only when I have my appointment with the trainer so I can go and get away and take the time for myself. i think having to go somewhere else may be the true solution and on those days I just can't get there, then I need to make sure I use my personal equipment and tapes to make it work.
Eating needs to change to be planned and brought. Spending all the money eating out and grapping things is not only not healthy but also expensive and would pay for the trainer. It is not a justification it is a fact if you seriously look at the numbers.
I am off next week from both jobs while in IN all but Tues, Wed and Thurs, I do have those days to truly make a good start in getting things off on the right step. I need to find some good healthy quick recipies that will work for me and allow me to cook my husband and I a healthy meal and yet allow time to do workouts and other things that must be done.
I am hoping that by writing in this journal, I will find some strength and support and a way to dump feelings and emotions instead of turning to food during frustration and anger.
I can do this and I have to stop telling myself that I am a failure because I am not in any other aspect of my life so why should I think I am a failure and can not loose this weight only because of family and others views. When I decided to go back to college and work full time and finished my degree in 5 years of night school, I did not let negative people into my life it was a very strong step that I took and told myself I didnt' neeed that and the same is true with this journey. I need some postive support people to help me see that I can do this.
