Why??????

C

CindyB

New member
Sorry eveyone, but I just finished reading something very disturbing and I am really pissed.

Why do SOME men continue to treat women as sexual objects, why do SOME men continue to demean women, why do SOME men continue to have this POWER over women when women could retaliate, but are afaraid to?

I am a mature woman and can deal with men on my own terms, but I have a teenage sister and I fear over what she may be dealing with, ( but won't tell me).

This is 2008 why are these issues still hounding todays young women?
 
That kind of stuff goes both ways this day in age, ya know.

But I understand your frustration as it's not right either way.
 
I'm sure I know what you read that has left you "pissed off," but as Steve said... things go both ways. Women demean men... vice versa. That's life unfortunately.


As for your younger sister, I can sympathize. I have two younger sisters that I worry about constantly. Hell, I'm even overprotective of them even though I'm thousands of miles away. All we can do is hope and pray they don't have to deal with this kind of shit.

-Sheryl
 
Yeah, I'm into the whole taking responsibility for your self thing and yeah men are perverts, but so are women. As far as demeaning stuff, the women allow it to happen. It's tough though if the woman lives with him and has given up work and possessions to make the relationship/family work, then the woman is at a greater disadvantage to walk away.

I tend to think that people know what they are getting into and know WAY before it is getting REALLY bad that it is kinda bad, then people need to either be responsible and love themselves enough to walk away or take it on and deal with it.

"He treats me like s***, but I love him."

Having low expectations and high commitment is great for getting relationships to work, but when you throw your expectations completely out the window, then it's time to reevaluate the relationship (be responsible to yourself, love yourself enough to stand up for yourself).
 
I'm raising my daughter to run if a man so much as tells her to pass the ketchup! lol.... Now if he ASKS nicely that is ok.

Seriously it's all about control. Just like the other thread when we were talking about boyfriends trying to control what their girlfriends wear.

All controling behaviour by either sex should be nipped in the bud .... early on in the relationship. If one person is yielding to the other person's pouting, anger, sulkiness... whatever... that is where it starts. It starts slowly... and before anyone knows it, the dynamic of the relationship is one where the controller actually thinks they deserve to have their wishes met.. much like a child throwing a tantrum.
 
Yeah, I honestly think that women can make their own choices.

With that being said though, I personally feel that female independance has grown in the last 10-20 years but for the wrong reasons. The media portrays women to be powerful through methods of desire, sex, and physical appearance, more than intelligence and other righteous reasons.

I think it would be great to see a woman in a high power political position and perhaps things could change for the better without it relating to sex.

It really depends on the situation you put yourself in as well. As someone mentioned a woman that is getting beat saying that she loves the guy and stays day after day puts herself in that situation when she could easily get out.

We just have to teach ourselves that these things are wrong, and that we can live as women independently without the help of men.
 
nikegirl24 said:
...... puts herself in that situation when she could easily get out.
Click to expand...

I do have to disagree w/ this statement. Although I do believe that there are situations of abuse where a woman CAN leave but chooses not to. There are times when a woman is just stuck. Not saying there is "no way" she can leave, but it certainly wouldn't be easy. Suppose she has kids, she has no car, no money, maybe she has family but they arn't close or they can't take her in. There are times when it is very difficult for an abused woman to leave.

Not trying to be argumentative, but I've been in that boat before, so I'm speaking from experiance.
 
hahaha Yes it is Mal - but I was thinking the ultimate power position, like president, but didn't want to pull too many politics into the forum. I figured my response would draw enough attention as is.

And yes new bride.....some women just can't get out of that situation, but in the end I just believe it is their choice and they put themself there (only my opinion though). With that being said, I have never been in that kind of situation (nor would I put myself there, cause I'd run the first moment it started) so I don't really know how I'd react. I'm sure it would be harder for a lot of women to leave who have no education, and nothing to fall back on.
 
Saying an abused person could just walk away from an abusive relationship and find a healthy one is sort of like saying a heavy person could just eat less and exercise more to lose the excess weight, then maintain a normal weight. Easy to say when it's not you, but not so simple for most people who find themselves in that situation.

No one wakes up in the morning and says "You know what I need? A boyfriend who smacks me around to show me that he really loves me!" You meet a guy, and he seems really nice, and after he's hooked you in, maybe one day he slaps you during a fight - but he's so apologetic and sweet after, and it'll never happen again. Especially if you don't complain / argue / nitpick, because you know how that pushes his buttons and makes him lose it. If you were just a little bit better, it would never happen again.

Lots of psychological stuff going on there. And it's working on the psychology that gets you out and keeps you out, much more than the physical act of walking away.
 
allyphoe said:
Saying an abused person could just walk away from an abusive relationship and find a healthy one is sort of like saying a heavy person could just eat less and exercise more to lose the excess weight, then maintain a normal weight. Easy to say when it's not you, but not so simple for most people who find themselves in that situation.

.
Click to expand...

Yes, I agree. Unless you've been there it is hard to understand. But once you have been there you can sympathize with them.

I hope your sister finds her way out of her mess. But she has to see it for herself. She is a teenager, so she still has to sort of listen to her parents, hopefully. Better now then when she is an adult and doesn't think she has to listen to anyone.
 
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