First-off.....this thread is absolutely/positively NOT about anyone on this forum. Generally someone post something like this because they're upset at someone. NOT IN THIS CASE....I'm just throwing this out as something to chat about. With my 2-hour ride today I was just sorta mentally working this out for a couple miles and figured I'd solicit for opinions and offer it up for discussion. It's not like a problem or anything, just a subject/concept I touch on now & then.....
There's lots of personalities and I'm more then certain some of the people who read this fall into the category of those who can't apologize or say they're sorry for something when they should.
About the first thing that comes to mind is that a person who is incapable of apologizing is someone who is insecure about themselves and generally feels an apology is a concession and admission that they're both wrong and a lesser person for it. I can't get around this notion, it just seems the most practical of reasons. Maybe they think that in giving respect it compromises their self-respect and in some way concedes an inferiority to the offended person.
Another reason could be that the person is just insensitive or they just don't care. They may be aware that they should say something, but they don't because they're all too wraped-up in their own lives and don't make the effort to treat others in a cordial manner & proper manner.
To me, saying 'sorry' is just as important as saying 'thank you' when someone does something for you. I suppose I like to treat others as I myself would like to be treated...but perhaps I'm projecting my own social norms onto other people and then expecting the same in return...and if it doesn't happen then I figure something is wrong with them.
I had this friend who just out & out screwed me over....he knew it was wrong but he absolutely would not apologize for it. I even told him he needed to apologize and he said "Oh, well fine...if that's what it takes" (basically removing all sincerity and conveying it was being done strictly as his going through the motions). Ironically, this guy is very arrogant & self-centered....but so often the people who seem so confident in themselves are actually the people who are struggling with self-confidence issues and it pressents itself as the opposite. Was he so smug that apologizing was beneath him....or was the notion of conceding he was wrong something his ego couldn't tolerate because of his insecurities??
I dunno...but instead of writing a whole dissertation why not open it up for discussion. Why are some people incapable of apologizing?
There's lots of personalities and I'm more then certain some of the people who read this fall into the category of those who can't apologize or say they're sorry for something when they should.
About the first thing that comes to mind is that a person who is incapable of apologizing is someone who is insecure about themselves and generally feels an apology is a concession and admission that they're both wrong and a lesser person for it. I can't get around this notion, it just seems the most practical of reasons. Maybe they think that in giving respect it compromises their self-respect and in some way concedes an inferiority to the offended person.
Another reason could be that the person is just insensitive or they just don't care. They may be aware that they should say something, but they don't because they're all too wraped-up in their own lives and don't make the effort to treat others in a cordial manner & proper manner.
To me, saying 'sorry' is just as important as saying 'thank you' when someone does something for you. I suppose I like to treat others as I myself would like to be treated...but perhaps I'm projecting my own social norms onto other people and then expecting the same in return...and if it doesn't happen then I figure something is wrong with them.
I had this friend who just out & out screwed me over....he knew it was wrong but he absolutely would not apologize for it. I even told him he needed to apologize and he said "Oh, well fine...if that's what it takes" (basically removing all sincerity and conveying it was being done strictly as his going through the motions). Ironically, this guy is very arrogant & self-centered....but so often the people who seem so confident in themselves are actually the people who are struggling with self-confidence issues and it pressents itself as the opposite. Was he so smug that apologizing was beneath him....or was the notion of conceding he was wrong something his ego couldn't tolerate because of his insecurities??
I dunno...but instead of writing a whole dissertation why not open it up for discussion. Why are some people incapable of apologizing?
