What's wrong with me?

AutumnNight

AutumnNight

New member
As some of you may know, I have lost 100+lbs since late 2008. Everything seemed to be going well. If I wasn't working out at the gym, I'd be at home on my treadmill. I also had my eating totally in check. But ever since 2010 hit, I've gone completely mad. I haven't worked out since late December and I feel like crap. I was eating ok, so I just looked at is as a little plateau. But now, my eating has gone off the wall! I don't know what to do! I'd eat anything I saw and then felt like crap...then go back for more. I know I have it in me, but I just don't know how to kick-start myself back on track. I now have my treadmill back up, but I still can't find that extra push that I need. I tried to restart last week, but it just isn't working.

I got on the scale and it said that I gained weight . It probably wouldn't be alot to some people. In fact, it's probably noot enough weight to even make a dent in my appearance. But ever since last week I had this goal in my mind, and it's going the complete opposite direction. I got off and got on a few more times to confirm. I had a break down and cried for about 45 minutes. I think I went a little insane, and now have a major head-ache. Everytime I thought of that weight, I cried. Whenever I saw a thin person, I cried. (mind you, this all happened about an hour ago (2am)). Even my mom thought something was wrong with me. I'm hoping this little 'thing' that just happened will help me.

I don't know where I went wrong. I want to start over, but I'm afraid of the temptations and failing. When I think about how I first started, it really inspires me to get it together. But I just can't seem to get with it. I'm feeling like a big failure...a reallly big one. I'm totally depressed right now (although writing this out does make me feel alot better)

Has this ever happened to anyone here? I'd really like to talk to someone who has gone through this kind of situation. What do you think I can do to get through this? Also, is this normal?

Thanks for reading~
 
Hi,

Although I can't say I've been dealing with this exact same thing, I do recognize some aspects that have been part of what I call an 'all or nothing' mentality, which I have had.

When I first started on my fat loss efforts, it was 'all or nothing' in the sense that I was either strict in terms of diet and exercise 100% of the time, or I wouldn't do anything at all. Whatever I did had to fit in with an overall goal.

So in other words, when I thought I had been very strict for long enough, and would 'cheat' after that, I would be inclined to quit the whole process. Basically, if it wasn't 'all', it was 'nothing'... kind of like: "I cheated now, so it doesn't matter what I do anyway...".

I'd feel like a failure and would quit the entire thing, which is kind of stupid of you look at it. I mean, I could have easily picked it up a day or a couple of days or even a week later, but I didn't... Until of course I let it come too far, so I had to decide to give it 'all' again.

And this happened a couple of times. So in that sense, I wouldn't say it's "normal", but I definitely recognize it.

Basically, what you can do is just set a goal and make a decision to pursue it to get yourself focused again.

Then, instead of doing the hardcore 'all or nothing', you can make use of strategic cycling of your calories and planning some regular 'cheats' in synch with that.

This will set your mind at ease, because you regularly settle down a bit and don't have to be strict all the time. In addition, through the calorie cycling it doesn't even have a negative effect, but instead can work in your advantage regarding fat loss (of course, assuming you do some good exercise in conjunction with this). In that way, you also know you're actually doing that to improve your results... not to give yourself "a reward for all the suffering" or things like that.

It's actually all part of one big process, with longer-term focus on your end goal.

Hope any of that made sense...

Take care!
 
Did anything happen before you "went off the wall"? I know that's how I am.

I just ask because if it was something else in your life that set off your eating, your probably going to need to look at getting re-motivated in a different way.
 
I used to be in a 6 month cycle. I'd work out for 6 months and then stop for 6 months only to start again 6 months later.

It was weird. I'd be working out, tramping on my treadmill and just decide I'd had enough, get off the treadmill and wander off.

I never really understood it until I stopped doing it. One day I restarted my programme as usual but this time I decided I would not quit. The 6 month window turned up and sure enough I wanted to quit. It took a lot of willpower not to quit.

In retrospect I think I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I was being 'good' rather than changing my lifestyle. So, eventually I would get tired and bored with being 'good' and quit. Now I think I have chosen a lifestyle rather than a diet.

As for the tears - well, we never feel good about ourselves when we think we have failed to live up to our own expectations.

I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe work on the reasons why you want to be slimmer, fitter and heathier and commit to a lifestyle change not just a weight loss. There are lots of really compelling reasons to eat well and exercise forever.

Good luck!
 
AutumnNight said:
As some of you may know, I have lost 100+lbs since late 2008. Everything seemed to be going well. If I wasn't working out at the gym, I'd be at home on my treadmill. I also had my eating totally in check. But ever since 2010 hit, I've gone completely mad. I haven't worked out since late December and I feel like crap. I was eating ok, so I just looked at is as a little plateau. But now, my eating has gone off the wall! I don't know what to do! I'd eat anything I saw and then felt like crap...then go back for more. I know I have it in me, but I just don't know how to kick-start myself back on track. I now have my treadmill back up, but I still can't find that extra push that I need. I tried to restart last week, but it just isn't working.

I got on the scale and it said that I gained weight . It probably wouldn't be alot to some people. In fact, it's probably noot enough weight to even make a dent in my appearance. But ever since last week I had this goal in my mind, and it's going the complete opposite direction. I got off and got on a few more times to confirm. I had a break down and cried for about 45 minutes. I think I went a little insane, and now have a major head-ache. Everytime I thought of that weight, I cried. Whenever I saw a thin person, I cried. (mind you, this all happened about an hour ago (2am)). Even my mom thought something was wrong with me. I'm hoping this little 'thing' that just happened will help me.

I don't know where I went wrong. I want to start over, but I'm afraid of the temptations and failing. When I think about how I first started, it really inspires me to get it together. But I just can't seem to get with it. I'm feeling like a big failure...a reallly big one. I'm totally depressed right now (although writing this out does make me feel alot better)

Has this ever happened to anyone here? I'd really like to talk to someone who has gone through this kind of situation. What do you think I can do to get through this? Also, is this normal?

Thanks for reading~
Click to expand...

It's called Winter and it ruins a lot of peoples' motivation. Don't fret too hard over this. Lots of people - like LOTS of people - go through the same thing. You just need to snap out of it, that's all.
 
Thanks

Thanks for the support everyone! My head is clear now and I'm starting all over again. I need to stop worrying so much and should be happy that I've lost all the weight I have so far. But what I really need is a new beginning. So what I'm doing is starting at the weight I am now and making it my start weight. I guess it was a combination of cold winter weather slowing me down and the fact that I got kind of bored with the whole losing weight thing. I really feel like I can do this (again). Now all I need is a work-out buddy. lol
 
Hi there,
You are not a failure, you have seen a huge success and are now resting on a plateau before continuing upwarsd and onwards.
You know what you need to do but your subconscious hasn't yet caught up with the new you. I would suggest that you follow the steps outlined in the 3 excellent posts in this forum from G Maddison. I am a hypnotherapist specialising in weight loss and have used similar techniques with great success over a 12 year period. Please ignore the cynical replies to the postings and try it for yourself. Completely free and you have nothing to lose, except that weight of course! It would be good if you could post back and let us know how you get on.
Best Wishes
Pam
 
Winter happened to me too!! I gained 19 pounds in 9 weeks!! The holidays just threw me off and then I would say I'll start again next week and kept saying that. I finally made up my mind that I was sick of gaining and falling back into my old habits and pledged to change my lifestyle. I have since lost 14 of those pounds in 4 weeks so it can be done!! Don't give up and keep at it! You know how to do it so do it!!
 
Here's a big hug. Glad things are better with you. I was in the same spot as you. I don't know why sometimes things get out of hand like that. The important thing is to get back on track quickly, as you have done.
 
Thanks so much

I'm so happy for all of the support here! I've actually lost 2 lbs already(in few days)!! I'm actually kind of shocked. Now I know I can really do this!!
 
I feel the same way. I lost 35 pounds in 3 months. I was eating good, cheating a bit, but doing 2 1 hour workouts a day. I felt like a beast. Then school started and I could only do one a days in the morning at 530 AM before work, and i gained 8 pounds back. Now I have started again and realized I will prbably be doing this for the rest of my life, so no need to rush. I cheat when I want, but most of the times make fair decisions. If something has too many calories, I turn away from it, and choose a better option. It is honestly a lifestyle.
 
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