What is this girl thinking?

that one guy

that one guy

Banned
I need to get into the ultra secret, ultra complex mind of a woman.

Heres the jist of the story:

ive been a big guy my whole life and I recently lost a substantial amount of weight. So im on the dating scene. I really have no experience with girls, never dated but ive had "contact" at various parties. I have no problem talking to girls, im confident and i'll talk about anything with them. I can't read them though, im still pretty self concious and im not sure if they're just messing around or feeling sorry for me.

Im 6'1 210lbs.

My current problem.. one of my coworkers is showing some interest or so I think. We've worked together for 4-5 months and we really get along.

Shes always messing around with me, asking me questions other girls usually don't. Shes walked up to me before and randomly hugged me for no reason. She recently broke up with her bf and seems to be getting closer to me. I gave her a ride after work a couple weeks back and failed at that. I pulled up to her place and "alledgedly" pulled away too fast. I agree, I sorta of jumped the gun because I was nervous and let off the typical "cya".

Flash forward to this week and she says to me, "Too bad you pulled off so fast, I was gonna give you my number". The she says so what are you doing tonight(Saturday night), I say "Sleeping". A couple minutes later she asks me if I wanted to hang out some time and I didn't respond, I just blew it off jokeingly.

So yeah, ive got a problem and I would like to fix it. Im a funny guy and relatively decent looking but I can't get over this hurdle. I think every girl is either messing around or treating me like a charity case.

Opinions?
 
I'm in the same boat with you, confident with girls, I've dated some amazingly gorgeous and sweet ones, but sometimes you just have a few bad "away games" as it were.

If I were you I'd say sweetly "Hey, sorry I've been kinda blowing you off, what are you doing (insert day)?" and when she smiles and says "I don't know yet" you say "well lets go get dinner" and when she says ok you go "and make sure to dress nice." Take her out to a halfway decent place where you can get away with wearing some slacks and a nice shirt without looking weird. When you look like a million bucks, you feel like it, and the confidence will get you through the night.

Good luck buddy.
 
Well thats the thing. The confidence is always there. Except when im around a bunch of girls(5+). Which is usually the case, since me and my friend are the only guys at my job. Theres atleast 30+ girls. It makes things difficult since theres not a lot of one on one time and when there is, as seen above, I fail miserably.

I can't get it out of my head that shes just ****ing around with me. Ive actually talked to my friends about this and the usual answer is "**** a few fatties and then work your way up". Can't say I disagree but its not my style at all. Not to mention, theres something more with this girl. We like a lot of the same things and I don't just look at her for ass/chestal region.. I actually care what she has to say (I know, thats a shocker).

Thinking about revoking my man card.:rolleyes:
 
that one guy said:
I can't get it out of my head that shes just ****ing around with me. Ive actually talked to my friends about this and the usual answer is "**** a few fatties and then work your way up". Can't say I disagree but its not my style at all.
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And *that* is why i have such a lack of confidence whenever some guy shows any interest in me.:mad:
 
Well yeah, I agree its a shitty no win situation. Could just use it as motivation, could sulk about it, could just enjoy the ride(no pun intended):cool:

I figured I would work my way in as a friend before I make any serious moves. Going out to dinner would be a disaster. Although im such a mook I won't even add her on facebook for fear of backlash:p
 
If she flirts with you, flirt back, have some confidence shes a good girl who likes you. Don't take too long to act, unless you become "best friends, I love you more than anything" getting out of friend territory once you're in is almost impossible.
 
ask her out! she seems interested, if you don't you'll always torment yourself "what if?!" if she says no, never mind plenty more fish in the sea! if she says yes fantastic! if you carry on like you are she'll start to think your not interested rather than shy and she'll eventually move on.
 
women aren't really that complex- we just have an annoying trait of not saying what's on our mind at the time... because we're supposed to be mysterious or something...

Reading the signs she's sending you is tough...

i'll tell you a secret - 99 percent of all women out there (not vapid little girls but actual women) do not give a rats ass about what you look like - your character and your belief in yourself are what counts.

can't get it out of my head that shes just ****ing around with me. Ive actually talked to my friends about this and the usual answer is "**** a few fatties and then work your way up". Can't say I disagree but its not my style at all.
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I'd say your friends hav a lot of growing up to do - as a "fattie" I am no one's starter girlfriend or some easy fuck to get you to what they think they deserve... I should be datable on my own merits - not because of what I look like.
Not to mention, theres something more with this girl. We like a lot of the same things and I don't just look at her for ass/chestal region.. I actually care what she has to say (I know, thats a shocker).
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be bold - ask her out for coffee - if she says yes - well hot diggity have fun - if she says no - then you've got your answer and move on to other people... no one ever died of a No... just do it son - you can ya know :)
 
i'll tell you a secret - 99 percent of all women out there (not vapid little girls but actual women) do not give a rats ass about what you look like - your character and your belief in yourself are what counts.
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Trust her... this is so true!
 
My current problem.. one of my coworkers is showing some interest or so I think. We've worked together for 4-5 months and we really get along.
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But -- on further review of this post - i must say - Fishing off the company pier is a dumb idea - you don't shit where you live and all that - there are plenty of women out there - don't go for the ones you work with - just causes trouble long term...
 
I'm not quite done -

6'1 210lbs is actually kinda yummy :) why would you have a bad self image with those stats - the heroin chic rockstar look is just sooo not attractive...
 
6'1 180 is what im going for. Its more for my sport than anything. Right now im happy with where im at basically, obviously I would love chizzeled abs and all that but its not a must. Losing 25-30lbs will really help my game in hockey, basically my only concern at this point.
 
that one guy said:
Well thats the thing. The confidence is always there. Except when im around a bunch of girls(5+).
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Well this is only one girl, so whats the problem? Sure you may be nervous, but Im sure she is as well. I agree with Kissmyhuman about telling her you've been kind of blowing her off, but would like to take her up on her offer and get together sometime.
 
This girl is giving you ever clue in the book!

'What are you doing tonight' ---your clever response should've been along the lines of 'taking you out to dinner'

When she said 'I was going to give you my number' you should've said something like 'I'll give you mine if you give me yours'.

Flirt with the girl, she is probably walking past you on purpose many times during the day---just to 'see' you. Stop by her desk just to say 'hi'. Smile, it'll melt her heart and give her little goosebumps--not to mention a girly grin for the rest of the day. Flirt man flirt!!!!! :)
 
You girls are making it to easy. It can't be as easy as maning up and taking charge. Its gotta be some deep seeded mind game that all women pull but men can't explain.:rolleyes:
 
another clue.

Men are from Earth. WOmen are from Earth. The only mind games being played are the ones we play with our selves.

While I contend dating colleagues is a really bad idea both professionally and personally - if you are going to ask her out - ask her out - stop overthinking it.
 
maleficent said:
another clue.

Men are from Earth. WOmen are from Earth. The only mind games being played are the ones we play with our selves.

While I contend dating colleagues is a really bad idea both professionally and personally - if you are going to ask her out - ask her out - stop overthinking it.
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Word.


Thats all it is. Dont live in fear of the opposite sex, or you'll never get any of the last word. :D
 
Sounds like your acting like a "VIRGIN "
 
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