What am I doing wrong?

F

filaste

New member
Hello all,

I've decided to post here because I feel that my motivation levels are really low and I don't want to do something that I will regret in the future, I hope that you can help me :)

First of all the facts - I am 20 years old guy, I weigh 430lbs and I'm 6'10 tall (205cm).
I tried losing the weight many times, but I feel that this time right now has been the only 'real' attempt, and I can say honestly that before I was just trying to get parents off my back and show that I'm doing something, so that they would leave me alone.
That's why I am trying so hard to make it work, because I really feel like I want to do this, I need to do this. The reason why I have started was mainly because I felt that I kept on missing out on life - I always wanted to learn to ski, skateboard, travel the world but my weight has always made me not want to do these things.
My day to day was also becoming difficult - carrying all this excess weight is really not easy. I am also a student at a University, I see all those people out and having fun but I just stay at home feeling like shit.

I started dieting about 4 months ago, I can truthfully say that I don't know how much exactly I lost in that time because I was so afraid to go on to the scale (never mind that no scale would weigh me). I know that after 2 months I decided to buy two scales - so that I could stand on them one foot on each and get a rough idea of my weigh. 207kg (457lbs) - that was my weight 2 months ago. I was shocked, this kind of weight was above any of my "predictions". But that only motivated me more, and after another 5 weeks (3 weeks ago) I stood on the scales and I saw 195kg (430lbs).

At the beginning I cut my daily calories to 1500, I thought that it worked well but sometimes I was really hungry, I read up on the forums that I can't do that because otherwise my body would go into "starvation mode" also that it's not good to starve yourself so I upped my daily limit to 2000 calories (and I stopped being hungry) around 2 months ago. Other than cutting calories, I don't eat bread, sweets or any kind of flour type food such as pizza, pasta etc. at all. I have also made effort to reduce the intake of fats. The only drink I started drinking is pure water, sometimes I drink coffee in the morning with a little milk and a spoon of honey (but I count these calories).

But to get to the point - I have not lost any weight in the past 3 weeks, I am becoming very depressed and frustrated :( Many thoughts are going through my head, and I read up on a lot of subjects, and I just don't know what to do.
Is it the metabolism? Do I need to kick start it? I've read up that some people have one day a week where they eat everything they want, and that's supposed to keep the metabolism high. But I am scared to to that because I haven't had any kind of sweets in my mouth for 4 months and I'm afraid that if I try it then I will go back to my old habits. Maybe it's my lack of exercise? I have made some changes in that aspect - I started walking everywhere (to school, to shops etc) instead of taking the bus, and I walk around 40 minuted daily (around 2 miles), also some minor things like taking the stairs instead of the lift etc. Is it not enough?

So my question really is what should I do? Should I just wait and hope that this will return back to normal? Is my caloric intake not enough and my body is in starvation mode? Did my metabolism slow down?

I was advised to go to a gym, but I'll be honest here - it's not that I don't want to, I really mentally feel unable to go into a place full of people and work out, I feel really insecure about my look. Is it possible to just keep losing weight on a diet alone? I know that losing this weight will take time, but I just want to see it going down and for the past 3 weeks there has been no reward for all of my effort.
So many questions, and Im so frustrated! Anyway thank you for any help. :)
 
Welcome to the forums! I am not a nutrition expert so I have no ideas to share on that aspect. ;) I would recommend adding exercise. Some personal trainers will meet you at your house or a place of your choosing, if you don't want to go to the gym. I found them really useful when just starting out. You could just create a program yourself. There is some good info on this site to get you started. Walking is excellent. You could add short bursts of speed to increase the intensity.
 
ijustwannabefit said:
Welcome to the forums! I am not a nutrition expert so I have no ideas to share on that aspect. ;) I would recommend adding exercise. Some personal trainers will meet you at your house or a place of your choosing, if you don't want to go to the gym. I found them really useful when just starting out. You could just create a program yourself. There is some good info on this site to get you started. Walking is excellent. You could add short bursts of speed to increase the intensity.
Click to expand...

Thank you for your answer :) I feel much better today. I can't afford a personal trainer, although I have made a decision that I will try to walk for few miles daily if I can. :)

I will still wait for any replays :)
 
Do Not Give Up

Dear friend,
I understand your frustration. What you're doing and the changes you have made are great. So firstly you have to recognise that, WELL DONE. Where you're at at the moment, you should not have a cheat day. Keep up with walking everywhere, No lifts, no processed food at all, no pasta or bread is great. All this is fantastic that you have been able to achieve, I would also recommend that you keep a diary of Everything you eat, sometimes we think we're not eating a lot when we actually are. Drinking lots of water is also the best as it fills you up as well as being really good for you.
Now comes the second hard part, the dreaded gym. I too spent years avoiding the gym, @oh everyone is going to look at me, everyone is slim, I'll feel ridiculous, I can't, I can't, i can't.
O.k throw all that out your mind now. No-one at the gym is going to judge you or look at you and if you think they are...so what? What do you think is going to happen. Think about it. What is the worse case senerio? You are not going to die, your not going to lose anything from it except weight. Any time you start to think like that, just think What is reall ygoing to happen. You will be pleasantly suprised. You get to the gym and someone there will show you the equipment and you'll find that people that go to gyms are happy to show you about the equipment and are also so into their training that if they think of you at all, it would most likely be, well done for coming.
Honestly once you're there and sweating and panting, like everyone else you'll forgot any negative thoughts.
Ask for help at the gym and get started on your new life in getting fit. If you have a friend to go with even better, but not important. The only one holding you back in fullfilling your dreams is you. You're so young you can achieve what you want to. Don't let life pass you by because of what you think people are thinking...no-one cares!
I hope you can start a training and weight lifting program, it's not going to be easy but you'll be half way there and the results will be all worth it.
Please let us know how you get on. All the best x
 
p.s, FORGET THE SCALES, stop weighing your-self and get on down to the gym and watch your pants getting loose, that is the best feeling in the world!
All the best, and keep us updated.
 
I like to use measurements as well as the scale to track my progress. I measure monthly (neck, chest, upper arm, waist, hips, thigh and calf). It's interesting to see the measurements change. Especially during some months when the weight stays the same.
 
Thank you all for wonderful answers :)

I have kept up with my diet, and temporarily I have stopped weighing myself to avoid frustration. But I feel like the weight has gone down again! 2 weeks ago I checked my waist and it was 60 inches, today it was 58 inches :) It may not seem a lot as a number but it feels like a lot of tape I can actually hold on to (I have a 60 inch tape). I am also considering joining gym after I come back home from Easter holiday. It's really not easy for me but I hope that I starting going there at least 2 times per week. Other than that I feel good, very good actually. The little amount that I have lost ~40lbs really made a difference for my joints, walking is easier and more pleasant, I even find myself running for a little bit sometime (something i haven't done for years).

I'll try too keep this thread updated as often as I can :)

Thank you all!
 
ijustwannabefit said:
I like to use measurements as well as the scale to track my progress. I measure monthly (neck, chest, upper arm, waist, hips, thigh and calf). It's interesting to see the measurements change. Especially during some months when the weight stays the same.
Click to expand...

I agree with this! and you know when they say that exercise is addictive they aren't lying! Although I know it isn't the same for everyone, and it can be tough work and pain in the *rse sometimes, it can also be great fun.

And as had been said above, once again, well done! for what you have already achieved. Many don't even get that far, and I imagine all of us know how hard it can be.

Keep it up hun,

Quacks x
 
Getting a personal trainer who can train you at your own time and place will be the best solution to this.

I know how frustrating it can be if you try to figure out all by yourself or being with people who does not understand or support what you do.

So it is essential to find someone who shares the same vision as you but more successful than you in what you want to accomplish.

Hope that this helps:)
 
First I would suggest you cut out all processed foods out of your diet and eat only natural foods like potatoes fruits vegetables etc. easier said than done but you will get the best nature has to offer for your body. also you may find you will have more energy when your off processed foods. obviously drink plenty of water don't skip meals and exercise your butt of. also I would highly suggest following Tony Robbins method of thinking which is to apply more pain to not taking action than taking action. meaning if you don't take the actions you need to take right now you could potentially face health conditions later. let that be your motivation my friend the pain and pleasure theory is the driving force for ALL decisions that Human beings make so seeing pleasure at the end of your journey being health and alive and free of most health problems is probably the best motivation for you. Best Of Luck and don't ever give up on your goal
 
Hi filaste,
Sorry to hear your having a rough time, I have been putting on weight for several years now gaining over 50 in the last year. I just started using a product and was 375 and now 364 in 1 1/2 weeks. Not only am I losing but no more snacking it curbs your hunger so you don't want to snack. I have only had one after dinner snack in two weeks where I was snacking every night after my Girlfriend went to bed. She is now waiting for her order to come in so she can start too. We are both excited about it.

Private message me if you want more info and congrats on the weight you have lost so far hang in there buddy!!!

Brian :)
 
filaste said:
Hello all,

I've decided to post here because I feel that my motivation levels are really low and I don't want to do something that I will regret in the future, I hope that you can help me :)

First of all the facts - I am 20 years old guy, I weigh 430lbs and I'm 6'10 tall (205cm).
I tried losing the weight many times, but I feel that this time right now has been the only 'real' attempt, and I can say honestly that before I was just trying to get parents off my back and show that I'm doing something, so that they would leave me alone.
That's why I am trying so hard to make it work, because I really feel like I want to do this, I need to do this. The reason why I have started was mainly because I felt that I kept on missing out on life - I always wanted to learn to ski, skateboard, travel the world but my weight has always made me not want to do these things.
My day to day was also becoming difficult - carrying all this excess weight is really not easy. I am also a student at a University, I see all those people out and having fun but I just stay at home feeling like shit.

I started dieting about 4 months ago, I can truthfully say that I don't know how much exactly I lost in that time because I was so afraid to go on to the scale (never mind that no scale would weigh me). I know that after 2 months I decided to buy two scales - so that I could stand on them one foot on each and get a rough idea of my weigh. 207kg (457lbs) - that was my weight 2 months ago. I was shocked, this kind of weight was above any of my "predictions". But that only motivated me more, and after another 5 weeks (3 weeks ago) I stood on the scales and I saw 195kg (430lbs).

At the beginning I cut my daily calories to 1500, I thought that it worked well but sometimes I was really hungry, I read up on the forums that I can't do that because otherwise my body would go into "starvation mode" also that it's not good to starve yourself so I upped my daily limit to 2000 calories (and I stopped being hungry) around 2 months ago. Other than cutting calories, I don't eat bread, sweets or any kind of flour type food such as pizza, pasta etc. at all. I have also made effort to reduce the intake of fats. The only drink I started drinking is pure water, sometimes I drink coffee in the morning with a little milk and a spoon of honey (but I count these calories).
Click to expand...



Hello,


May I ask what you are eating? You say that you don't eat junk which is great, so what do you eat? I ask because I have an idea you are eating foods that you think are healthy and they aren't. This is 100% not your fault, it's just that there is a lot of garbage out there.


What I am about to say is not popular, but I stick by it.


Stop focusing on calories!


Here's why. When you ONLY focus on calories there is so much bigger of a picture that you miss. I honestly think that counting calories for weight loss is the worst method. I say this because I have done it too, and it just doesn't work. I know it's what everybody says to do and technically it does "work" but it's so frustrating and it takes SO much effort.


I'll explain more in a second about that.


The other thing is, you absolutely do not need to watch your fat intake. Fat has never made anybody fat and it never will. The human body NEEDS FAT! It is a mistake, and it should have never made the public airwaves that fat makes you fat. I don't just say this...there is a ton of information on this which I won't post because I remember seeing huge red letters about posting links here, but if you search you will find it.


So, why does counting calories not make sense?



Think of it this way. If you were running a marathon and you spent 100% of your focus and energy on finding the best running shoe, and did nothing else would you expect to win that marathon? Counting calories is kind of like this to me. It makes you so laser focused on finding some number that a website gave you and then doing every single thing on earth to stay within that number that you become blind to what is truly making you gain weight, or not lose it.


And that is sugar.


Sugar is everywhere. I meet a lot of people who say they don't eat sugar, and that's because maybe they aren't having cookies coke and cakes. But that is just the very tip of the sugar iceberg. It's in all of your food...all of it.

It's in ketchup, and mayo and salad dressing and yogurt and anything that says "fat free" on the label...absolutely loaded with it. Do you know why that is? Because fat free foods taste like a shoe, and food manufacturers know this...so they add sugar so that you will eat it.


Then they say "Only 90 little calories" and meanwhile there are 5 teaspoons of sugar in a snack. Sugar is absolutely responsible for obesity and a ton of other diseases that go hand in hand with obesity. Metabolic syndrome, high blood pressure, gout, diabetes and a slew of others.


Is this "proven" No...it isn't proven. You know something else that isn't proven by hard scientific data? That smoking causes cancer!


We know the risks so we take the information that is available and we (if we are smart) don't smoke for fear of cancer. Sugar is the same way. There will likely never be scientific proof of any of this, but there is so much reason to take warning.


I am telling you right now that if you cut ALL sugar out of your life the weight will absolutely drop so fast you wont' believe it.


How do I know? Because I lost 70 pounds in about 4 months when I took sugar out of my diet, and I never once went to the gym...not a single time. Take a look at the picture below at the bottom of my post very carefully. I live with teenagers who still eat junk, so that's why I have this terrible product in my house.


This so-called "health" food is even endorsed by Weight Watchers. It has "only" a few calories and no fat so people figure they can eat unlimited amounts of it. But just ONE container has 10 grams of sugar, which is 2.5 teaspoons.


When it comes to sugar consumption though, don't take MY word for it! Take the word of both the World Health Organization AND the American Heart Association, because they recommend a MAXIMUM of 25 grams per DAY, which is about 6 teaspoons.


So, if you ate this yogurt, you would be at 1/3 of your total for the day. If you had a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios with SKIM milk...you would have another 3 or 4 teaspoons. You would be over your limit and not even done with breakfast yet.


I don't have anything to sell you. I am a person who is sick of seeing people struggle with this calorie counting and cutting out fat, when fat never made anybody fat and calories are NOT all equal. There is information available that a sugar calorie is not the same as a broccoli calorie...forget about the quantity, they don't do the same thing in your body.


The sugar calorie causes a huge insulin response and creates fat cells and that insulin blocks the signal to your brain that tells you to stop eating. Broccoli or a "whole food" doesn't do this!


When you eat a whole food without sugar, your body creates some fat cells but you get that signal that you are full, so you burn it up for energy. Sugar just creates more and more because it metabolizes in the liver. I can go on and on, but I don't want to overwhelm you (too late probably).


I am passionate about weight loss. I guarantee you 100% that if you go to your fridge and cabinets and start reading labels and looking for sugar your home is filled with it. Sugar is most definitely NOT the "energy of life" as people say.. That is what glucose is, and your body can make that from healthy food.


I eat fatty foods all day. I eat avocados and cashews. I haven't counted a calorie in a year. I eat breakfast and a snack and lunch and a snack and dinner and I even have a dessert. I never gain weight anymore....ever!


I am not special. I most definitely do NOT have a special metabolism. I struggled too, and I found the "secret" by pure accident. Your body doesn't want X amount of calories of sugary yogurt and Lean Pockets. Your body wants vitamins, minerals, fat and protein. If you give it those things and keep sugar out of the equation, your body WILL drop weight. I've seen it with me with 70 pounds lost.


My wife lost over 30 to date (she didn't have as much to lose as I did)


Her mother lost 30 pounds doing the same thing. This isn't a "diet"...it's a way that you can take your life back. Look at that picture below. Does that in any way look "healthy" to you? It looks disgusting to me.





View attachment 22186
 
wally247 said:
Hello,


May I ask what you are eating? You say that you don't eat junk which is great, so what do you eat? I ask because I have an idea you are eating foods that you think are healthy and they aren't. This is 100% not your fault, it's just that there is a lot of garbage out there.


What I am about to say is not popular, but I stick by it.


Stop focusing on calories!


Here's why. When you ONLY focus on calories there is so much bigger of a picture that you miss. I honestly think that counting calories for weight loss is the worst method. I say this because I have done it too, and it just doesn't work. I know it's what everybody says to do and technically it does "work" but it's so frustrating and it takes SO much effort.


I'll explain more in a second about that.


The other thing is, you absolutely do not need to watch your fat intake. Fat has never made anybody fat and it never will. The human body NEEDS FAT! It is a mistake, and it should have never made the public airwaves that fat makes you fat. I don't just say this...there is a ton of information on this which I won't post because I remember seeing huge red letters about posting links here, but if you search you will find it.


So, why does counting calories not make sense?



Think of it this way. If you were running a marathon and you spent 100% of your focus and energy on finding the best running shoe, and did nothing else would you expect to win that marathon? Counting calories is kind of like this to me. It makes you so laser focused on finding some number that a website gave you and then doing every single thing on earth to stay within that number that you become blind to what is truly making you gain weight, or not lose it.


And that is sugar.


Sugar is everywhere. I meet a lot of people who say they don't eat sugar, and that's because maybe they aren't having cookies coke and cakes. But that is just the very tip of the sugar iceberg. It's in all of your food...all of it.

It's in ketchup, and mayo and salad dressing and yogurt and anything that says "fat free" on the label...absolutely loaded with it. Do you know why that is? Because fat free foods taste like a shoe, and food manufacturers know this...so they add sugar so that you will eat it.


Then they say "Only 90 little calories" and meanwhile there are 5 teaspoons of sugar in a snack. Sugar is absolutely responsible for obesity and a ton of other diseases that go hand in hand with obesity. Metabolic syndrome, high blood pressure, gout, diabetes and a slew of others.


Is this "proven" No...it isn't proven. You know something else that isn't proven by hard scientific data? That smoking causes cancer!


We know the risks so we take the information that is available and we (if we are smart) don't smoke for fear of cancer. Sugar is the same way. There will likely never be scientific proof of any of this, but there is so much reason to take warning.


I am telling you right now that if you cut ALL sugar out of your life the weight will absolutely drop so fast you wont' believe it.


How do I know? Because I lost 70 pounds in about 4 months when I took sugar out of my diet, and I never once went to the gym...not a single time. Take a look at the picture below at the bottom of my post very carefully. I live with teenagers who still eat junk, so that's why I have this terrible product in my house.


This so-called "health" food is even endorsed by Weight Watchers. It has "only" a few calories and no fat so people figure they can eat unlimited amounts of it. But just ONE container has 10 grams of sugar, which is 2.5 teaspoons.


When it comes to sugar consumption though, don't take MY word for it! Take the word of both the World Health Organization AND the American Heart Association, because they recommend a MAXIMUM of 25 grams per DAY, which is about 6 teaspoons.


So, if you ate this yogurt, you would be at 1/3 of your total for the day. If you had a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios with SKIM milk...you would have another 3 or 4 teaspoons. You would be over your limit and not even done with breakfast yet.


I don't have anything to sell you. I am a person who is sick of seeing people struggle with this calorie counting and cutting out fat, when fat never made anybody fat and calories are NOT all equal. There is information available that a sugar calorie is not the same as a broccoli calorie...forget about the quantity, they don't do the same thing in your body.


The sugar calorie causes a huge insulin response and creates fat cells and that insulin blocks the signal to your brain that tells you to stop eating. Broccoli or a "whole food" doesn't do this!


When you eat a whole food without sugar, your body creates some fat cells but you get that signal that you are full, so you burn it up for energy. Sugar just creates more and more because it metabolizes in the liver. I can go on and on, but I don't want to overwhelm you (too late probably).


I am passionate about weight loss. I guarantee you 100% that if you go to your fridge and cabinets and start reading labels and looking for sugar your home is filled with it. Sugar is most definitely NOT the "energy of life" as people say.. That is what glucose is, and your body can make that from healthy food.


I eat fatty foods all day. I eat avocados and cashews. I haven't counted a calorie in a year. I eat breakfast and a snack and lunch and a snack and dinner and I even have a dessert. I never gain weight anymore....ever!


I am not special. I most definitely do NOT have a special metabolism. I struggled too, and I found the "secret" by pure accident. Your body doesn't want X amount of calories of sugary yogurt and Lean Pockets. Your body wants vitamins, minerals, fat and protein. If you give it those things and keep sugar out of the equation, your body WILL drop weight. I've seen it with me with 70 pounds lost.


My wife lost over 30 to date (she didn't have as much to lose as I did)


Her mother lost 30 pounds doing the same thing. This isn't a "diet"...it's a way that you can take your life back. Look at that picture below. Does that in any way look "healthy" to you? It looks disgusting to me.





View attachment 22186
Click to expand...


absolutely, I fully agree. Counting the calories is in principle okay but you are missing the bigger picture
 
Get a trainer that will come to your house
Give up all processed food (all)
Increase cardio watching heart rate with heart monitor. Some dont use this but it helped me stay honest. Cardio not only can help with fat it also is great for heart and lungs. I use Kettlebelling and it has really helped me. Key is to do it correctly. Kettlebelling builds functional strength and works cardio. One key is find someone that can teach you the correct way to do it. Also for me I dont have to workout as long with Kettlebelling.

Use a fitbit one to see how much you are moving during the day. It also makes me walk further.
 
Hi, first I want to say great job and you seem to have a lot of will power, more than you are giving yourself credit for. :) You may want to consider going plant-based. There are tons of great videos out there and books. One book in particular was a game changer for me. I am a firm believer in eating only whole foods, no processed or marketed "diet" "low cal" foods. I lost 30 lbs in a very short amount of time once I made the switch. And you know what....I felt very empowered by putting in only good whole foods from mother nature in my body. But more importantly I noticed I was in a better mood, felt happy, felt energized and more confident and no more depression. The whole process even inspired me to write a blog. I used to fight with myself and guilt myself all over food and my body image, until the day I chose to go vegan. Why didn't I do it sooner?? I have no idea. I wish somebody told me. I feel like I have found the fountain of youth. In the process, I lost weight and never expected that. It's been a real life total transformation for me. So keep the faith, you are taking steps in the right direction and you should be proud of yourself!
 
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