Weight Loss Trainwreck

[MarcGRFNR]

Hey guys,

My name is Marc, and I am reaching out to you all for help. I'm not sure what kind of help but I guess we'll find out. In order to get you up to date, I have to some years ago.

As is always the starting line, I was always a bigger kid growing up. In high school, sports and weight lifting really helped me maintain, what I believe, was a good weight for me (200lbs/190lbs depending on the sport) but of course school ends and so do those extracurriculars.

I was 18, a senior in high school, when my girlfriend at the time and I found out she was pregnant. My daughter was born shortly after, when I was 19, and I did not workout whatsoever during this first couple of years.

From 2012 to 2014 I went from 200lbs, to 315lbs. That's when I made the conscious decision to make a change in my life, not only for me but for my daughter as well. I slowly started getting into the gym more. I have always been pretty well versed in weight lifting and cardio, thanks to the many, many years of athletics. It was getting the confidence to get into the gym after gaining 115 pounds. Not to go too off tangent here, I ended up losing 55 pounds in about 6 months. Down to 260lbs. I definitely could've lost another 60lbs, but at 260 I was strong, healthy and confident.

During this time, I met a girl (who is now my lovely wife) and I dunno.. I just started working out less, and less. Eating out more, and more. Had two more children. Went to the gym once or twice a month, if that. And now here I am today. 370 pounds..

My knees hurt. My back (which was injured in high school football.. At practice. Not even a game smh..) is hurting again. I am not flexible at all. It's hard to wipe my butt after using the bathroom. I am winded if I walk to fast from the living room to the kitchen. The list goes on.

I have been going back to the gym lately. Trying to make that change again. But it has not been as frequently as I would like. I don't know where the motivation went. Or what to do. I know some of the things that are discouraging me.. Obviously my size. My strength has decreased, and in some areas a significant amount. I keep comparing myself to 2015 me, when 225 on bench was my starting set, now I can't put up 175 without struggling. Curling 40s was a normal part of my workout, now 30s are tough.

I envision a me that is lean, attractive, fit, confident. And I want it. But I can't seem to do it.

TL;DR - I went from 200lbs, to 315lbs, down to 260lbs, all the way up to 370lbs and have no motivation or confidence. Help..?

 

[PLB]

Hey Marc, Welcome to the forum!

Well you must have some motivation, because you are here looking for help! I think you already know that at your current weight things are just going to be more difficult and there is no way around that. It can be difficult for ex-athletes to get back into things because you know what you were able to do before and it is so frustrating to not be able to do those things anymore. It sounds like you actually have a lot of experience and knowledge for how to get to your goals, but you might have to take a step back and recognize that you'll need to start off at a much slower pace than before. Even if you had stayed at the same weight since 2015, but not worked out, you'd be struggling to lift 175. You just need to give yourself time to get there again.

I don't know if you've come across the Diary section of the forum yet, but our members who post there regularly seem to have the most long term success at getting to, maintaining, and even surpassing their goals. It's a good place to have some accountability as well... If you don't post in a while, you might get some people asking where you went!

If your knees and back are bothering you, is there a form of cardio that you can do that is lower impact, like a recumbent bike, or even a pool?

 

[MarcGRFNR]

Hey Marc, Welcome to the forum!

Well you must have some motivation, because you are here looking for help! I think you already know that at your current weight things are just going to be more difficult and there is no way around that. It can be difficult for ex-athletes to get back into things because you know what you were able to do before and it is so frustrating to not be able to do those things anymore. It sounds like you actually have a lot of experience and knowledge for how to get to your goals, but you might have to take a step back and recognize that you'll need to start off at a much slower pace than before. Even if you had stayed at the same weight since 2015, but not worked out, you'd be struggling to lift 175. You just need to give yourself time to get there again.

I don't know if you've come across the Diary section of the forum yet, but our members who post there regularly seem to have the most long term success at getting to, maintaining, and even surpassing their goals. It's a good place to have some accountability as well... If you don't post in a while, you might get some people asking where you went!

If your knees and back are bothering you, is there a form of cardio that you can do that is lower impact, like a recumbent bike, or even a pool?

I have started using a bike more, and it's actually proving to be a really effective method of cardio. Even when I was in shape my shins would hurt a little after extended cardio, so using a bike has been super beneficial. I like to think I'm pretty well versed in what it takes, and what to do, to make these changes I need to make. I just can't seem to find the drive. I don't know if that's a mental thing? Like should I talk to someone? Lol ya know? I know there are moments in my day where I am pumped to go after work, then after work comes and I'm just like "meh." I'm struggling with it a lot.

 

[PLB]

Hey Marc, that's great that the bike is working out for you! I like that the intensity can easily be changed as your fitness level improves, and that it's easy to throw in higher intensity intervals when you want to to a shorter cardio workout. And as you've discovered, the bike can be a little easier on the body! One thing that I do find is that I need to pay attention to my hip flexors as they seem to get a little stiff from all the repetitive hip flexion. I make sure to do a bit of extra stretching or even just balance it out with different forms of cardio like walking or even an elliptical.

As for finding the drive, I wish I could give you the magic answer to make sure you stay on track! Most often, I find that one of the best motivators is when you start to feel "better" after exercise. Like when you stop feeling just plain exhausted after a workout. Or when something starts to get easier and you can increase the intensity. Or being able to keep up with your kids. You just have to keep reminding yourself of your reasons for wanting to go to the gym in the first place.

When you worked out before, did you go on your own? Did you have a workout partner?

 

[overlandflyer]

what are your eating habits? what times of day do you eat? take a typical day and list everything you might eat in a single day. what sort of snacks do you eat? do you drink soda? if you work or go to school, what hours are you typically at home? please be honest.

how is your A1C? get a blood test if you do not know. don't worry about your strength at your weight. the only real benefit exercise will have at this point will be to help maintain your apparently decreasing metabolism.

 

[MarcGRFNR]

Hey Marc, that's great that the bike is working out for you! I like that the intensity can easily be changed as your fitness level improves, and that it's easy to throw in higher intensity intervals when you want to to a shorter cardio workout. And as you've discovered, the bike can be a little easier on the body! One thing that I do find is that I need to pay attention to my hip flexors as they seem to get a little stiff from all the repetitive hip flexion. I make sure to do a bit of extra stretching or even just balance it out with different forms of cardio like walking or even an elliptical.

As for finding the drive, I wish I could give you the magic answer to make sure you stay on track! Most often, I find that one of the best motivators is when you start to feel "better" after exercise. Like when you stop feeling just plain exhausted after a workout. Or when something starts to get easier and you can increase the intensity. Or being able to keep up with your kids. You just have to keep reminding yourself of your reasons for wanting to go to the gym in the first place.

When you worked out before, did you go on your own? Did you have a workout partner?

I usually went on my own. I was able to just get into my workout more and get after it. Less chit-chat.

 

[PLB]

I usually went on my own. I was able to just get into my workout more and get after it. Less chit-chat.

Haha, that sounds like me in the gym! Just do whatever works for you. How's it been going? Do you have a workout routine going yet?

 

[MarcGRFNR]

Haha, that sounds like me in the gym! Just do whatever works for you. How's it been going? Do you have a workout routine going yet?

Well, I've had a workout routine planned out, but I haven't put it much into practice. Here recently (the last 3-4 weeks) I've been going to the gym more often. So I've been able to do it! I hit back and biceps last night, and I'm definitely feeling it haha. But it feels good. I hope that these minor pains and just the entire atmosphere of "gym life" come back to me and I can start to love it again.

 

[PLB]

Oh good, I'm glad that you've been getting into the gym more often. Getting there consistently is the most important step! I think I said it before, but with ex-athletes, the hardest thing to get over at first is knowing what you could do in the past and comparing that with your current status. It can be really discouraging to start over (and you will be sore after not doing a whole lot!) but you can get there again, just start off slow.

 

[Frank M]

Marc - I've spent 20 years working D1 college athletics, and so I've spent 20 years dealing with graduates who struggle with what happens to their bodies AFTER the rigorous demands required to compete at that level are removed. My takeaway from this experience, for athletes and non-athletes alike, is that unless you're one of the very rare people for whom time in the gym is a reward in and to itself, as you get older you need ANOTHER reason to get be active and fit.
What I mean is, you should consider finding a secondary motivation to work on your fitness. Start playing in a local rec league of your favorite sport. Get some friends together and and challenge each other to regular tennis matches... gear yourself up for a half marathon... SOMETHING that then might land you in the gym where you're working out in order to prepare yourself with the spark of competition to motivate you.
Just a thought. But I know it's one that has helped a lot of formerly competitive friends, so I thought I'd share.
Good luck!

 

[myleanbaby]

What I have learned is that for most people diet controls fat loss/gain, exercise controls muscle loss/gain. So to lose weight, most people need to do both, but diet is really what helps you lose fat, and by gaining muscle you help your body burn that fat while you're in calorie deficit, and you will increase your overall health and fitness. Wishing you all the best!!