Venus & Mars ... hilarious

allcdnboy1

New member
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much.
And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never
figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I
just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to! take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at big, big unnamed department store.

I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive
outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy
them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet
when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop
when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling
with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's
go to! the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like
it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman.

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either
 
ROFLMAO That was great!!!!
 
OMG!!! I hope this was a joke, and not something that really happened... but it is funny as hell!
I gotta pass this one on!
 
OMG!!! That was too funny! But personally I think I would wring a man's neck if he did that to me. LOL!
 
Are we sure this is a weight loss forum? LMAO Hey ladies it's "Sweetest Day" tomorrow...nothing tells your man you love him like a little abuse LOL!!!
 
Woo hoo you go girl! LOL! We're going to Cedar Point tonight and staying the night there :) I sense some abuse going on myself
 
seriously he can go forever without......thankfully he allows me to have a friend. now i know that may not be the ideal situation for most people but it works for us.
 
Say What???... :eek: ....Do you mean like an other human being...OR something that requires batteries?.....oh no......please dont tell me you have a "pet " horse or monkey........LOL..........JK!!! :D ....No but seriously....are you serious?
 
LOL..Im glad you asked it because I had to read that twice and I still wasnt sure...LOL. I hope your friend is Battery operated.
 
no he is alive and kicking......
 
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