Unfunny jokes

Post jokes thats so bad they're good :cool:

a young girl went into the supermarket. The put down the following grosseries in her basket: 1 frozen pan Pizza, a 3dl milk carton, an apple and a well-shaped cucumber. When she got to the register the young man working there looked at her and said:
-You're single right?
-yes why? the girl asked with a smile
-You're so damn ugly
 
In it's full form that joke was actually funny.
 
dryyyyyy^^ =D

Why did so many black people die in Vietnam?
-When someone shouted "Get down!!!!!!!!!!111" they all started dancing.
 
what do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting on your doorstep?
--Matt

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs that just fell out of a boat?
--Bob

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a field of marijuana?
--Bud

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs and no torso?
--Dick

What do you call a dog with no legs?
--It doesn't matter. He won't come when you call him anyway
 
what do you call a deer with no eyes?
no idea

what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
still no idea

what the differenc between a camel, and a pile of dead baby's
(now plz don't hate me for this one)
i don't have a camel in my garage.
 
what the differenc between a camel, and a pile of dead baby's
(now plz don't hate me for this one)
i don't have a camel in my garage.
Don't hate you, I just think it's sad....and kinda creepy.

Anyway, now I got one perfect for this situation:

FAT PENGUIN!!!!
.......what?
I thought I'd say something to break the ice!!
 
Whats brown and sticky?

- A stick!


(This is currently my 4 yr old niece's favourite joke and will make her laugh for at least ten minutes each time she hears it)
 
although retardedly simple, this one still cracks my buddy up for hours...you know, like just as he starts to calm down he'll think of it and start laughing to himself again?

...he's 21 btw,lol. makes me think how retardedly simple HE is. heh

"a man walks into a bar"


"ouch"
 
I'm part scottish. If my friends would start messin with me I'ld just simply say,

"Watch, I come from a long line of skirt wearing, MEN."

:) :)
 
One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for more than 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship." And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft.

Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure. Putting aside the scuba gear and the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde! The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Irishman and said to him,
"Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar?"

"Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman.

With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wetsuit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars. He takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag. "Faith and B'gorrah," said the man, "that is so good I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"

"And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Powers Irish Whiskey?" asked the blonde.

Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years."

Hearing that, the blonde reaches over to her right sleeve, unzips a pocket there and removes a flask and hands it to him. He opened the flask and took a long drink. "Tis Nectar of the Gods!" stated the Irishman. "Tis truly fantastic!!!"

At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle.
She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you played around?"

With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

Don't tell me that you've got Golf Clubs in there, too!"
 
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