Trying to learn

[Wanttobuff1]

Thanks for having this forum available.

I am here for a few reasons. First, I want to lose 40 lbs or more and look buff.
The word "buff" used by the younger kids always made me laugh and think it sounds stupid. Fact being, I do want to look good and together. Buff. lol.
Another reason for being here is to gather some ideas as to the best way for me tackle this project.

Secondly, I am currently divorced, but while married had a terrible time of dealing with my ex when she was dieting. We had many other issues than just her weight and for God sakes I had weight to lose myself.
It seemed no matter how I tried to support this woman she would get angry.
She would always throw at me daily that I thought she was fat or must find her unattractive. It gave me no out.

My current situation:
I have started dating and one lovely woman has few pounds on her. To me she is gorgeous and super sexy. How do I convince her she is and in a way she will believe me? I don't want to go through the same senario as will my ex-wife. Truth be known, I actually find larger women more to my taste, but understand it's not good for their health and wouldn't insist on them staying heavy to accomodate my visual preferences. I love a person for them.

Thanks for hearing this confused guy out.

 

[dgillygal]

Hi, Wanttobuff1! Welcome to the forum! I know you'll find support here. This group is awesome!

I think the best way to lose weight is to watch what and how much you're eating along with some type of exercise. Whether you use a diet plan like Weight Watchers or just try it on your own, you still have to be conscious of what type of foods you're eating. Healthy food such as fruits and veggies really are better for you than chips and candy! You also need to move! Get out and walk or jog or go to a gym or whatever you like to do that will burn calories. Doing these things consistently will help drop those pounds.

Evidently your first wife was very insecure about her weight and maybe felt guilty for not losing more pounds ... thus her anger over it. I'm sure it happens with alot of people, both men and women. Being overweight is a very sensitive area, and if one is angry with oneself for being overweight, that anger will be passed on to others. However, I'm very glad that you've found someone who is special to you again. Keep the lines of communication open. When the opportunity arises, tell her that you will like/love her no matter what her size, but that you will support her decisions on weight loss like you hope she will support yours. Since you would like to drop some weight too, maybe you and she can work at it together. It always helped me to have a buddy to bounce ideas off of, exercise together, try new recipes together, etc.

Good luck! Keep us posted on how things are going!