This isn't a rant, it's wake up call for the stupid. If you are smart, you will get a laugh; if you are stupid, it will most likely make you laugh still but, it should educate you on the basic requirements of working out.
...
Everything I have read, seen, heard and been told about working out says I must:
1) Write your workouts down...to keep track.
2) Follow a routine...for consistency.
3) To, an extent, track my calories.
4) Be consistent.
5) Be motivated.
6) Make it fun.
7) Expect results.
8) Feel good because of good results.
9) The list goes on.
The number of positive adaptations I get from my way of working out (which isn't special or godly, by the way) serves me well and gets me what I desire. But some of the above, all of them actually, are crocks of ****. Total half-assed assumptions that are made to complicate something simple. Physical exertion to bring on adaptations that will improve energy expenditure in the body as well as in the mind.
Seriously, if you are a trainer and take care of your clients as though they we're puppy dogs in this matter, you deserve to have your licenses, diplomas and PhDs taken away from you. No to mention your brain surgically removed.
It is as if people needed to be babied through this process of losing weight and getting fit in the attempt to make them feel good for their results, even though they can feel as such without any results what so ever.
I don't need a 20" bicep. I don't need quads that lift a thousand pounds. I don't need a heart that beats 30 beats per minute. I don't even need to be fit, for gods sake. But, man, does it ever help. I thought I was happy before, but, after making myself lighter both in my mind and body just because I spend a couple of hours per day breaking a sweat makes bliss seem like an underrated made-up emotion created by bull****ters wanting to control the global economy and populous.
Get off your ass, work through the feeling of not wanting to do it and you will evolve, once and for all. You will become instantly emotionally mature by doing such a thing.
Emotional Immaturity = "I'm fat, I need to lose weight."
No **** you do, saying it won't make it go away.
If your pissed off because there is some variable in your life that stops you from becoming excessively happy through a better life by becoming an energy efficient human being, then, cry harder, crying has shown to expend more calories than you would if sitting on the couch you fat ass.
I'd whip some of your fat asses, but the people in jail are going to beat my ass, apparently.
...
Everything I have read, seen, heard and been told about working out says I must:
1) Write your workouts down...to keep track.
2) Follow a routine...for consistency.
3) To, an extent, track my calories.
4) Be consistent.
5) Be motivated.
6) Make it fun.
7) Expect results.
8) Feel good because of good results.
9) The list goes on.
The number of positive adaptations I get from my way of working out (which isn't special or godly, by the way) serves me well and gets me what I desire. But some of the above, all of them actually, are crocks of ****. Total half-assed assumptions that are made to complicate something simple. Physical exertion to bring on adaptations that will improve energy expenditure in the body as well as in the mind.
Seriously, if you are a trainer and take care of your clients as though they we're puppy dogs in this matter, you deserve to have your licenses, diplomas and PhDs taken away from you. No to mention your brain surgically removed.
It is as if people needed to be babied through this process of losing weight and getting fit in the attempt to make them feel good for their results, even though they can feel as such without any results what so ever.
I don't need a 20" bicep. I don't need quads that lift a thousand pounds. I don't need a heart that beats 30 beats per minute. I don't even need to be fit, for gods sake. But, man, does it ever help. I thought I was happy before, but, after making myself lighter both in my mind and body just because I spend a couple of hours per day breaking a sweat makes bliss seem like an underrated made-up emotion created by bull****ters wanting to control the global economy and populous.
Get off your ass, work through the feeling of not wanting to do it and you will evolve, once and for all. You will become instantly emotionally mature by doing such a thing.
Emotional Immaturity = "I'm fat, I need to lose weight."
No **** you do, saying it won't make it go away.
If your pissed off because there is some variable in your life that stops you from becoming excessively happy through a better life by becoming an energy efficient human being, then, cry harder, crying has shown to expend more calories than you would if sitting on the couch you fat ass.
I'd whip some of your fat asses, but the people in jail are going to beat my ass, apparently.
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