Student, binge eater, and looking for balance...

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ChubsterSince96

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So... Completely new to this forum, but here goes...

Have struggled with weight gain and body confidence since adolescence. Have currently lost around 35 pounds since my heaviest weight in 2015, but am heavier than my lowest weight.

Am currently in my third and final year of university, and stress is mounting... I go through faces of uncompromising dieting and gym... Followed by luls. For the past 5 weeks I have been BINGE EATING at least 4 days a week, and had completely given up on actually trying to make 'meals'.

AS A SIDE NOTE: by binging I don't mean that I ate a chocolate bar, I mean that in a night I will finish two domino's pizzas, and pint(S!) of Ben and Jerry's, until I felt physically ill and fall asleep.

I will have submitted my final essays by April, and am maxing out my student overdraft (and working overtime) to go to the Philippines, on 20/04/2018. Whilst a beach holiday is definitely overdue, this is a huge stressor for me as I am likely to be in a swimsuit for the majority of the trip, as I am currently repulsed by what I see in the mirror.

I am hoping that this weightloss diary will inspire me to have more balance in my eating. I feel like crap because of my constant binges and I don't think I can get on that plane in 47 days if I continue to neglect my body and mental well-being. In the meantime I need to lose weight and tone up, whilst I study to finish my degree, and work 1.5 days a week...
 
Today my goal has been to not binge:

Breakfast: fruit, alpro-soy yoghurt, oats, almond milk

Lunch:
roasted carrots, broccoli, peas, 1/4 onion, garlic.

Snack: A pear, a chocolate truffle.

Dinner:small jacket potatoe, salad, olives, tomatoes, Linda McCartney 1/4 pounder.

Pudding: whole mango.
 
University stress can be hard to deal with but it won't last forever.

the food listed today does not look too bad but I have no idea what a Linda McCartney 1/4 pounder is. You may also be a little low on protein depending on how much you ate of your protein sources.
 
Welcome to the forum :) Well done on losing 35 lbs. It sounds like you are not much overweight, but are struggling with stress-eating. I find having protein at every meal helps to keep me full & stops me wanting to binge. Are you getting some healthy exercise in at all? A walk is a healthy distraction & great stress relief.
 
Welcome to the diaries! If you have the possibility to see a counselor through university it will probably more than make up for the time spent. Binge eating is a serious problem and should be treated as such. Best of luck with the final stretch!
 
cate said:
Welcome to the forum :) Well done on losing 35 lbs. It sounds like you are not much overweight, but are struggling with stress-eating. I find having protein at every meal helps to keep me full & stops me wanting to binge. Are you getting some healthy exercise in at all? A walk is a healthy distraction & great stress relief.
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Thanks for the advice :) I'm not looking to lose lots of weight, but definitely struggle with comfort and stress eating, and it's really getting me down.

I'm a vegetarian-so you may be right with the protein! Today I started using My Fitness Plan to have a look at my micros... And am definitely a carb and sugar monster- am going to start planning my meals around protein, and hopefully that will give me some meal structure and curbe my binges :/ let's hope! :)
 
LaMaria said:
Welcome to the diaries! If you have the possibility to see a counselor through university it will probably more than make up for the time spent. Binge eating is a serious problem and should be treated as such. Best of luck with the final stretch!
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Thanks for your concern! I've always felt too embarrassed to seek counselling for food issues, as my Bmi is no longer considered overweight, and I am not underweight. I agree that binge eating is mentally and physically detrimental, and should be discussed with someone like a counsellor, but I don't feel brave enough to make that step :/
 
ChubsterSince96 said:
I don't feel brave enough to make that step
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Any counselor worth their salt is non-judgmental at the very least. But I understand that it feel daunting; it took me almost a year of procrastination and a great big kick in the backside from a friend before I finally made that first call. Very happy I did, though. No sense in waiting until your physical health is damaged as well. It IS always your decision however. I respect people´s non-disclosed reasons to do things differently.
 
ChubsterSince96 said:
am going to start planning my meals around protein, and hopefully that will give me some meal structure and curbe my binges :/ let's hope! :)
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I think it will make a difference.
I saw a counsellor after I had got to my goal weight as I still had issues with my self-esteem. I was petrified & embarrassed, but I struck someone lovely first up, who was very helpful. It had taken me a long time to build up the courage & I'm so glad I did. My lack of self-confidence went back a long, long way & I had deeply ingrained false thoughts. I only went to see her 3 or 4 times I think & that was enough. That was about 10 years ago now.
I, also, very much respect your decision not to see someone.
I have used my fitness pal for years, but if you ever want more detailed info about your macros check out cronometer. It doesn't separate your food into meals, snacks etc, which I like with MFP, but it does have much more detail about nutrients.
 
cate said:
It had taken me a long time to build up the courage & I'm so glad I did.


I have used my fitness pal for years, but if you ever want more detailed info about your macros check out cronometer.
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I'm happy to here that someone has been in a similar position and managed to benefit from counselling! :) I'm seeing now, after being on this forum, that this problem is much more common than I initially thought-which gives me hope :)

I have never heard of cronometer, but will do my research-I've had My Fitness Pal since 2013, and I can't say I love it, ha.
 
LaMaria said:
it took me almost a year of procrastination and a great big kick in the backside from a friend before I finally made that first call.
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Thank you for sharing your experience and I'm glad you felt that counselling helped you- its very encouraging to hear from people who were also reluctant to seek the help from a professional, and leaves me feeling more hopeful about the situation :)
 
Day Two Food Diary:
Breakfast:muesli with nuts (ayyyee, protein), strawberrys and almond milk.

Lunch:chickpea curry and coconut rice (half a microwave bag)

Dinner:large pita Bread, salad, Hummus, 4 falafels.

Snack: pear and a nibble of chocolate and walnut bar.

Whilst I was over my caloric limit, I am feeling happy with my days eating. I am two days binge free and ate three healthy meals, to the point where I felt full and not more. The real work starts tomorrow... It's time to gym up :)
 
Yeah, the "simple" principle of not binging cuts so many calories from your diet you can absolutely be excused for not going on a classical (and 95% long-term useless) diet right away. Well done eating real meals and providing your body with some proper nutrition.
 
Retrospectively I think yesterday may have been a slight step backwards. I went to the gym yesterday for the first time in a month, ate three balanced and healthy meals, but comfort ate in the evening. It would be easy to blame the comfort eating on additional stressors-postgraduate open evening tomorrow, my household pet (of 10 years) is very ill and is unlikely to recover... But I should know better, and comfort eating is making me unhappy longterm, even if it seems to satisfy me short term.

Day 3:
Breakfast: nutty muesli, raspberries and blueberries, almond milk

Lunch: coconut rice (half microwave pack), soya burger (for protein), and lots of peas (protein again). Small dollop of ketchup.

Dinner: three Quorn sausages, coconut rice, mixed vegetables and siracha for flavouring (probably less than a table spoon).

After dinner I comfort ate: two sachets of Quaker oats golden syrup with semi-skimmed milk to make porridge, and a large pastry my mother brought home from Sweden.

Exercise: 25 mins cardio, 15 ab workout on the matts, 5 minutes on the stair master.

My overall step count was: 14,528
 
Comfort eating isn't great but it definitely beats binging. Does.your mom have Swedish roots?
 
LaMaria said:
Comfort eating isn't great but it definitely beats binging.

Does.your mom have Swedish roots?
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I agree, I'm just a bit disappointed in myself, as I really need to start making good food habits.
We don't have any Swedish roots. My mum went for a weekend away with a friend, and came home with ALOT of pastries xD I don't know many people who fill up their carry-on suitcase with baked goods hahahaha
 
I do know of such people. Well, maybe not in their carry on bags. I'm glad I really don't like pastries! Some things I just don't understand why people like them. Doughnuts are a perfect example.
Try not to be too hard on yourself. It takes time to replace old, bad habits with good. Baby steps xo
 
:D I don´t know about pastries, but I have been known to bring home two kilos of cheese.
 
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