Struggling without support

K

kitcat

New member
Hello. I am 24 years old. All during high school and a few years after I was a lifeguard and instructor and was in relatively good shape with my weight around 120-125lbs. A few years ago we moved cities and I ended up changing jobs and not really getting the exercise like I had before. Added on top of that 2 years ago I ran into health problems and temporarily lost the use of my legs and was unable to really get around much, (though there is no firm diagnosis yet I believe that I suffer from chronic fatigue/fibromyalgia) that added to suffering from some depression, and not being able to work since, means that I have gained a lot of weight and now sit at 170lbs.

My boyfriend and I have a bad habit of eating out or ordering in a lot and both of us have said we want to start eating better and exercising. Lately I have really wanted to start making those changes, I'm feeling better and more energized and want to feel better about myself. In a few months we will be moving back to our hometown which is smaller and more in the country which I know will help me a bit with a change in lifestyle. My issue has been I feel like I don't have much support from my boyfriend even though he agrees and wants to lose weight himself.

He has said he will start biking again when the snow is gone and the trails are better but doesn't intend to do anything until then. I am having a hard time because I know I definitely need the pushes and support but there is no exercise that my boyfriend and I can do together, I hate and can't really bike much especially with the issues with my legs and he refuses to come to the pool with me because he won't swim, but I feel too self conscious and embarrassed to go by myself with how little endurance I have now to go by myself. That added to the fact that he keeps ordering pizza and other similar meals is taking a toll on me because he is the one with the income so I don't feel like I can say or do much about it. Even though I only started trying a few weeks ago I see myself already slipping and cheating and with out help I don't know what to do.
 
Hi there, first things first. I know how hard it is to do it without the support, but not to be mean I'm going to tell you what my grandmother and aunts, hell whole family tell me when I say that I don't have anyone to do an activity or go anywhere with.

"chile, ya born alone when ya die ya gan die alone, ya ma ain had no twins, if ya wan go do sometin' go an do it by yaself...

Not to be pessimistic or harsh, but all they were telling me was that, if something was out there that I wanted to do and nobody wanted to do it with me, then do it by myself. I know its hard, I read the boards, I hear and read how important it is for that buddy buddy, someone to make the journey with you, but you know what? Alot of times we often don't take the journey waiting on someone to start with us, and miss out on the people that we could meet along the way that will help us to finish.

You say that he is the one with the money and he keeps ordering pizza and the like, maybe you could suggest to him to order you a salad when he orders his pizza, and hell if you can't beat him join him, you could eat pizza and lose weight, just not three and four slices, have one slice, ask him if he would be willing to order a pizza with half just being veggies and less cheese.

There are alot of things in this life we can't change, so lets focus on what we can, you don't want to go to the pool because you are self conscious, don't look at it as going to the pool and wondering what people think about you or how you look, have a mental image of what you want to look like and use this as your boost to go to the pool, and choose a time when the pool has less traffic and people in it if thats the case.

You have to make the final decision of what you want, and if it means sacrificing a bit of food or shame for it, go to the pool, do your exercise, get up and go home, don't eat up with him, one slice of meat lovers wont kill you, but two slices of veggie pizza would be better, drink water, exercise at home, heck turn on the radio to a dance channel and dance like no ones watching, every little bit help, you can do this, I know you can, you just need to believe that you can.
 
Hi..... get your boyfriend to look at this forum, and I'll tell him a thing or two!!!!
no, but really see if he will have a look, we're all mostly friendly.
And really, this place has given the best motivation I could ever ask for.
Also.... you have to watch what you eat. A pizza with just veggies really isn't too bad for you. You just have to be careful how much you eat.
And really.. you should talk to him... Chances are he's gaining weight also.
Also, I hate swimming.... I know it's great exercise, but it might not be the best exercise to lose weight, since you don't heat up your body as much. (I've seen the articles online, look for swimming and weight loss on a google search)
...........
Here's my best idea:
Okay.. are there ANY exercise machines that you can both use.. like an elliptical machine perhaps?
That might a great way for you two to start working out together.
I wish you the best of luck, and I really hope you figure this out!
 
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hey kitcat, I understand that you really want your boyfriend's support, but maybe he's just not ready to lose the weight right now and maybe he needs motivation to start. Weight loss comes by choice, if you really want this, I think it's your time to start your journey. You shouldn't have to wait for your boyfriend. You can start off with light exercises like walking outside and workout videos at home and perhaps when you lose a bit of weight you will feel more comfortable rather than too self conscious and embarrassed to go to the pool. Keep in mind that your self motivation and success can also motivate your boyfriend on his journey :)
 
Hi I'm glad your feeling better, Lyrica I very good for Fibromyalgia, but makes you gain weight. I would try and lose weight through the diet route, as I think you have issues with exercise, I have to be careful with this myself. Sounds like your boyfriend is boycotting your attempts, a bit controlling maybe, which will diminish your self esteem. I understand exactly how you feel, remember getting back to good health will be your biggest goal. Try to seek the help of this site when he is "pushing" food at you, not on, remember your needs mean just as much as his, more as you are not well, I really feel for you, remember just concentrating on not gaining for the time being will help you, remember your not alone. Love Barbie
 
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