It's been a while, but I just can't stay away from this place. I was having some trouble logging in to this account yesterday, and ended up making another, but I think I'll just stick with this one. 
I don't see a lot of familiar faces anymore, other than Stingo. So, I guess I'll start with an intro.
My name is Steena. Some people call me Christi. Either is fine with me! I'm 23 years old, and I live in phoenix. In 2007, I was beginning to live pretty healthily, and lost about 30 pounds. I wasn't necessarily trying, or at least I didn't realize it. I was working at Blockbuster, about 50 hours per week. I walked to and from work everyday, about two blocks. I was eating things that were good for me for the most part. Usually something like Subway for lunch, and something small, usually in the form of a tv dinner, when I got home from work. I try to stay away from both of these things now though. I suffer from migraines, and my neurologist has instructed me to stay away from nitrates, and processed food in general, and to start working out. I just got back into everything yesterday. I'm back up near my heaviest weight, which really bothers me, but there's no sense in sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I guess that's pretty much my fitness background, but this is about more than physical health to me. I want full health, in all areas of my life-Mind, body, and soul.
About a year ago, I ended a very bad relationship. I met the guy online, moved 400 miles away from home, leaving everything and everyone that I knew and loved behind. This was in March 2007. I lived in California with this guy until December 2008. He sugar coated a lot of things, leading me to believe they'd be a lot better than they were. Up until this point, I'd lived with my parents my entire life. The thought of being out on my own with a boy was thrilling to me. He talked about us having our own place, etc. When I got there, we were staying with his Mom, which was supposed to be temporary. What he failed to tell me, was that he didn't even have his own bedroom, and we were in the living room, no privacy whatsoever. After about four months, we decided to move. However, the rent, and everything other than his car was my responsibility, which was total BS. I should have just left, but I didn't. We rented a room from these people for a good year and a few months. In December 2008, I told him I was leaving, and that he could stay, or he could come with me. I really didn't think he'd follow me, and I was counting on that. But he did. For a year he was unemployed.. He refused to get off his arse and find a job. If he had to put in any more effort than filling in an application over the internet, then forget it. There was also a lot of abuse in the relationship, but I'll save that for another time. For that entire year, I paid all of his bills. Every single one. I don't even know how much money I lost paying for his car, his insurance, his credit card, all of it. When I wouldn't pay for his tags, he lost it. Called his Mommy, oh boohoo. So he was supposed to go for a few days to get things fixed. He ended up being gone for four months. At first, things were horrible. But, then I started to realize I didn't need, or really even want him in my life. He came back in september 09, and I was looking to just end it. He kept telling me things would get better when he was working. In December he started working and nothing improved. I broke up with him on New Years Day. He begged and pleaded. I gave him one last chance. Things were good for about two days, and then they went bad again, so I broke up with him for good on February 1st. It finally clicked for him on February 6th, and he was gone by the 7th. I spent the next twelve months feeling sorry for myself. I should've have been working on myself as a person, but instead, I was always online, trying to find attention from anyone that would give it to me. Around September, I got sick of that, and just started working on me, spending time with my friends, etc. In December, I met my current boyfriend, Richie, and things are great. I'm still getting used to sharing my time with another person. I'm still so used to having everything to myself. It's quite a change.
I also have an addiction that I'm trying to kick. When I was dating my ex, things got bad, and I started taking methadone tablets to take the edge off. It started with 10 mg, and stayed that way for about two years, but not I can take as much as 40-50 if I've had a bad day. My Dad knows I take them, but doesn't know the extent of the problem. When I don't take them, I get headaches, so I only take them if I absolutely have to, and only so I don't have the withdrawal symptoms. I've got quite the road ahead of me, but I'm determined.
Yesterday morning I woke up and ate fried chicken for breakfast and felt like crap afterwards, and that was the turning point. I filled up my water bottle, got on the eliptical trainer, and got to work. I'll post about the past two days tonight before bed.
I'm happy to be back, and looking forward to getting to know new people.
I don't see a lot of familiar faces anymore, other than Stingo. So, I guess I'll start with an intro.
My name is Steena. Some people call me Christi. Either is fine with me! I'm 23 years old, and I live in phoenix. In 2007, I was beginning to live pretty healthily, and lost about 30 pounds. I wasn't necessarily trying, or at least I didn't realize it. I was working at Blockbuster, about 50 hours per week. I walked to and from work everyday, about two blocks. I was eating things that were good for me for the most part. Usually something like Subway for lunch, and something small, usually in the form of a tv dinner, when I got home from work. I try to stay away from both of these things now though. I suffer from migraines, and my neurologist has instructed me to stay away from nitrates, and processed food in general, and to start working out. I just got back into everything yesterday. I'm back up near my heaviest weight, which really bothers me, but there's no sense in sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I guess that's pretty much my fitness background, but this is about more than physical health to me. I want full health, in all areas of my life-Mind, body, and soul.
About a year ago, I ended a very bad relationship. I met the guy online, moved 400 miles away from home, leaving everything and everyone that I knew and loved behind. This was in March 2007. I lived in California with this guy until December 2008. He sugar coated a lot of things, leading me to believe they'd be a lot better than they were. Up until this point, I'd lived with my parents my entire life. The thought of being out on my own with a boy was thrilling to me. He talked about us having our own place, etc. When I got there, we were staying with his Mom, which was supposed to be temporary. What he failed to tell me, was that he didn't even have his own bedroom, and we were in the living room, no privacy whatsoever. After about four months, we decided to move. However, the rent, and everything other than his car was my responsibility, which was total BS. I should have just left, but I didn't. We rented a room from these people for a good year and a few months. In December 2008, I told him I was leaving, and that he could stay, or he could come with me. I really didn't think he'd follow me, and I was counting on that. But he did. For a year he was unemployed.. He refused to get off his arse and find a job. If he had to put in any more effort than filling in an application over the internet, then forget it. There was also a lot of abuse in the relationship, but I'll save that for another time. For that entire year, I paid all of his bills. Every single one. I don't even know how much money I lost paying for his car, his insurance, his credit card, all of it. When I wouldn't pay for his tags, he lost it. Called his Mommy, oh boohoo. So he was supposed to go for a few days to get things fixed. He ended up being gone for four months. At first, things were horrible. But, then I started to realize I didn't need, or really even want him in my life. He came back in september 09, and I was looking to just end it. He kept telling me things would get better when he was working. In December he started working and nothing improved. I broke up with him on New Years Day. He begged and pleaded. I gave him one last chance. Things were good for about two days, and then they went bad again, so I broke up with him for good on February 1st. It finally clicked for him on February 6th, and he was gone by the 7th. I spent the next twelve months feeling sorry for myself. I should've have been working on myself as a person, but instead, I was always online, trying to find attention from anyone that would give it to me. Around September, I got sick of that, and just started working on me, spending time with my friends, etc. In December, I met my current boyfriend, Richie, and things are great. I'm still getting used to sharing my time with another person. I'm still so used to having everything to myself. It's quite a change.
I also have an addiction that I'm trying to kick. When I was dating my ex, things got bad, and I started taking methadone tablets to take the edge off. It started with 10 mg, and stayed that way for about two years, but not I can take as much as 40-50 if I've had a bad day. My Dad knows I take them, but doesn't know the extent of the problem. When I don't take them, I get headaches, so I only take them if I absolutely have to, and only so I don't have the withdrawal symptoms. I've got quite the road ahead of me, but I'm determined.
Yesterday morning I woke up and ate fried chicken for breakfast and felt like crap afterwards, and that was the turning point. I filled up my water bottle, got on the eliptical trainer, and got to work. I'll post about the past two days tonight before bed.
I'm happy to be back, and looking forward to getting to know new people.