Sophielight's Diary

S

sophielight

New member
My name is sophie and this is my first day posting in this diary. The thing is I am finally facing the fact that I am fat and need to lose weight. I feel horribly ugly and have the worst stretch marks ever. I can't even wear a sleevless top or shorts without looking like a round blob. I feel really bad about myself. This morning I took a really good look in the mirrir and I do not recognise my body. It's so ugly. Iam am 5'5 and weigh 178 pounds....last month I weighed 168 pounds...yes 10 pounds in one month. I need to lose at least 50 pounds to reach my target goal i am going to be realistic and say it is going to be brutal because i am an emotional eater. Each day i will post what I ate that day and whether I followed my diet. Wish me luck...I need it. Tommorow I am going to buy some slimfast powder and some 1% milk and I am going to start this

Today I Ate
20 Apple Bites
1/4 pound bourbon chicken
4 glasses pepi
2 pieces fried chicken
1/4 bowl of salad
6 pices of candy

Current Weight: 178 ponds
Goal Weight:130 pounds
Weight Left To lose: 48 pounds
Weigh In Day:Every 2 weeks.
Target date for weight loss goal:This same date next year
Diet Foods:Slim-Fast twice a day one full meal a day and water.
 
Sophie, I already like you, as my youngest daughter name is sophie as well. As you know, it means wise....what a wonderful thing to be. Give yourself a hug girl,..getting through this is so much easier if you give yourself some self love. Just remember our weight is not our self worth. Beautiful comes in all shapes and sizes, its an attitude and it radiates to the outside. I am a big gal but none the less I feel beautiful and it really pains me when I see young women hurting because of their weight. YOu will find lots of support here,... just keep posting,..keep focus of your goal, there will be good days and bad days...just as long as you stick with it...you will get there.
 
Sophie I completely understand about not feeling good about yourself. I'm 29 and often find myself looking in the mirror to only end up crying with what I see. We can do this together, just remember that you're beautiful no matter what size you are. I know it's hard but coming to this forum and talking with the other members has really helped me out a lot. I may not be the size I want to be yet, but I'm taking it one day at a time and I will eventually be there. Sophie this your year to shine!!! You can do it we all believe in you.
 
Sophie, best of luck with you. I'm 5'2 which is much shorter. I know how you feel about the stretch marks, and the not being able to wear shorts, because my legs are huge too. It took me a while to tell myself that i'm way overweight, when I should be about 120lbs. Anyways, good luck, we can do this!
 
you know what.. this diary thing seems interesting. At first I thought, well theres too many of them, I won't start one. But I do need a place to write down things.. Yes. I'll do that.
 
Sophie,You can do it!:) We're here for you.

Nymphetamine, I highly recommend it. I find it a great way to keep myself on track. It's very encouraging too. Plus, it's a great outlet for venting. :)
 
01/25/05 Entry 2

Well I pigged out again today and I feel terrible. Thank you so much for your encouragement it means so much to me. Well the reason why I pigged out is.....no reason. I just started eating and didn't stop. Once I started eating I felt like the day was destroyed anyway...didn't buy the slimfast and continue to eat. I have absolutely no self control at all.

Tommorow's goals
Tommorow I know I'm going to eat again because I got caught up in other stuff and didn't get all myequipment together. I figure I'll start for real on Wednesday. Tommorow I will buy the slimfast...the milk....a scale...a tape measure...get a friend to take a picture of me in a bikini for reference....and sign up at a gym. I know I'm going to do this.

Today i ate
4 blueberry bites
4 lamb chops(tiny)
Corn mush
Cooked greens
4 glasses of pepsi
2 slices of raisin bread
Candy(a lot)
A cup of tea (with lots of sugar)

Tommorow is another day....
 
Hey Sophie,
The first thing you want to lose is the Pepsi. I had to give up Dr.Pepper, which was my favorite. I had several glasses a day, but soda is nothing but empty calories and a lot at that! Try diet sodas. Diet Rite is made with Splenda and has no caffeine, sodium, calories, or fat. It's pretty good. And Diet Cherry 7Up is good too. Also, I know you want to do the Slimfast plan, but you might want to think about trying the several small meals a day plan. I've tried things like Slimfast and found that I just get too hungry and crash. You need to keep your blood sugar stable and your metabolism moving. Finally, your body needs lots of fruits and veggies! It's not easy by any means, but we'll be here to support you! And keeping a food diary is immensely helpful, so I suggest you keep up with it! If you have any questions or want tips don't hesitate to ask-everyone here is really friendly!
 
Good for you for been honest of your diet inputs...I agree with the pop consumption...trade it in for an accasional diet soda....and start to ween yourself from the sugar.....trade it in for an apple or an orange...so ya get the sweet.
 
Oh well I think I did better today. I took the picture....it was ugly ugly ugly. I bought the slimfast and signed up for a gym ,bought a scale and a tape measure,ate a modest meal....then ruined the day by eating candy. I agree my soda consumption is out of control. I love pepsi so much it's like I'm addicted to it. I am still 178 pounds! I am going to take your advice and cut out all the candy,baked goods and cut down to 1 can of diet soda a day. I know I'm not gonna do this cold turkey so I'm going to try and downsize. Today after I ate the candy i felt very depressed. I didn't even know I had candy in my hand it was like whoops! what's this sweet tasting thing in my mouth???? I feel better because I actually achieved something towards my eventual weight loss however little. This may seem like the biggest copout ever but i feel i should make a February 1st seeing as it is only a few days away. Alright Diet coke tommorow!!! Thanks for your help and hints please keep them coming I sure need your help.My end of the year goal is to walk past Lane Bryant this December and walk into Victoria's secret and purchase the tiniest thong they have for myself for christmas.!!!!!

Today IAte
2 Cans Pepsi
Bourbon chicken and brown noodles
2 candy bars
1 steak chop
cooked vegetables
Water
A marked improvement from yesterday! i'll do better tommorow.
 
It's hard, I know, but you can do it. I think downsizing is a good idea. I had an addiction to Dr.Pepper, so I know how you feel about the Pepsi. I literally had several a day and I felt crappy in the middle of the afternoon if I hadn't had one yet. It took me about a week of cold turkey to get used to not having soda and now that I don't feel like I need it I allow myself a diet soda a day. Everyday you'll do better and better, and you'll have good days and bad days, but the good will pay off much more than the bad. Just stick with it!
 
already your attitude sounds so much more positive....and I think your goal is great (december victoria secret). Make this fun and exciting for yourself...finding the new you.
Joining the gym is really what will get that metabolism going...good on you!
Already making the changes in diet...a step in the right direction.
I also do the slim fast....but not everyday and sometimes once a day,...it really helps me protion wise.

You really dont eat too much I noticed,...so can I might guess that you eat pretty small meals but are a bit of a binger when it comes to candy sweets etc.
YOu might want to try
Eating regularly breakfast lunch dinner with small snacks between those meals, it does cut down on cravings and keeps blood sugar constant ...thus less cravings. More food does not always mean more calories...ecspecially if you are cutting out the candy and making nutrious choices,...try to make every calorie count ...ie have some nutrional value...and then on sunday go have your favorite candy...make it once a week instead of everyday.

you are going to get there!!!!!!!
 
I have to agree with Jennifer! And On the pop thing, I had the same problem. I switched totally to diet pepsi or diet dr pepper. Now when I do drink a pepsi it tastes too sweet. After you get used to diet it is not bad at all!
 
Thank you Jennifer and and rachel. Today was a disaster...man problems lead to me eating a lot of food I had no business biting into.Very depressing. Today I cut out a picture of the thong underwear i will buy for christmas and taped it on my fridge. My boyfriend was being a total jerk about everything....saying as fine as I am etc etc...then smiling and chatting with a pretty skinny girl at the supermarket while I looked on. I haven't confronted him yet but I think he's history when I talk to him. He's making me feel bad and is not contributing to my good health by chatting up skinny girls. Anyway. Roll on February!!!!!
Today I Ate
2 cans pepsi
1 steak
candy(ahhhhhrggggg!!!!!)
A MILKY WAY BAR!!!!!!!!!!
tea
2 slices raisin bread
a tangerine...um finally some fuit
a banana
A WHOPPER!!!!......I feel so bad about that.
I'm motivating myself for a great start Feb 1 I actually wrote down a decent exercise program I can deal with....mostly involving walking,climbing stairs etc.....Watchout Cindy crawford and other supermodels....they'll be a new captain in my corner of the universe this December.
 
I didn't even want to come here today. I gained 2 more pounds and I ate like a starved pig to drown the horrible pain. I am so depressed right now.
 
Hi Sophie, when your feeling down it is the best time to come on here and let your feelings out. You will be able to come back here and find out what your triggers are that make you eat certain types of food, how you felt when you exercised. We are all our own worst critic’s and we get down on our selves and then we still keep putting the boot in. don’t feel to bad about the 2 pounds just give your self a quick kick up the bum, work out why you put it on and keep going. Every week is a lesson, keep track of what you eat and you will soon work out what is helping you and what is helping you put on weight.keep your chin up mate each week is a new week and every day is a new day.
 
Sorry to hear you are soo down. Don't worry about 2lbs. You can do this pick yourself up and start over, start fresh. You can do it!!!
 
Sophie don't beat yourself up. We all have our bad days. You can do this, we all know you can!
 
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