Seeking a girl... Where do I look?

S

Servo888

0
Here is me in a nutshell:


I'm 21 years old, have a wonderful job, still in school, and live a wonderfully active life. I bike, I go to the gym, etc. But I'm not really a 'party' / 'loud place' person. I much rather sit back with a cup of coffee, and make small talk. The most perfect women I've met have always been significantly older than me; 5-10 years. The issue with older women is that they're at a point in life when they're wanting to settle down, have kids, and get married. I'm at a point in life where I want to have a wonderful girl to love, who I can travel with, talk with, 'best friend forever' type of thing, and of course have some naughty nights :violent: .

It's just a major PITA finding 'sophisticated' girls... I've looked over the 'What's Happening on Campus' flier, and there is nothing remotely interesting going on. I've scoured meetup.com too; and activities which I find interesting are dominated with males or older women.

Where do I look?

PS
I also make a great pancake (60% of the time) :food:
 
The best advice I can give, is to just get out. You need to find gatherings, because although you enjoy sitting back, you'll have better odds out in the mix of things. It can happen either way, or neither, but IMO you're better off going out to the loud scene on occasion, getting together with groups of friends (when you only know 1 or 2), and just being more outgoing.
 
I really understand what you mean, most girls under 25 are stupid and don't know what they really want :p

Your still young. Maybe in your late twenties or even early thirties, the girls will have matured and things will be a lot easier for you.
 
Women are far from perfect.

What I mean is, there is no such thing as a perfect woman. You can say all the things you like about a girl, but then she'll have so many faults that counter that. The fact is, you concentrate on the negatives of a girl rather than the positives. We all have in our mind the perfect girl, but in the end, in order to love someone you'll have to accept all she is.

With that said, I say expand your horizon. Lots of girls behave crazy, especially the college type, but deep down they all have qualities you just described. The idea is to get to know the gal, and keep an open mind.

A lot of times, people can't have good relationships because they dwell in the past. They say stuff like, "You slept with who? You did what when you were 18? You did this, that, and those, you say?"

If you're going to accept someone, just make sure you're going to accept the future you're going to hold together, not the past she came from.
 
Servo888 said:
I'm 21 years old, have a wonderful job, still in school, and live a wonderfully active life. I bike, I go to the gym, etc. But I'm not really a 'party' / 'loud place' person. I much rather sit back with a cup of coffee, and make small talk. The most perfect women I've met have always been significantly older than me; 5-10 years. The issue with older women is that they're at a point in life when they're wanting to settle down, have kids, and get married. I'm at a point in life where I want to have a wonderful girl to love, who I can travel with, talk with, 'best friend forever' type of thing, and of course have some naughty nights :violent: .
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If you're wonderfully active, like you say, than there really should be no problem. I assume by school you mean university or college etc...Surely there are girls on campus and what about at the gym?

Servo888 said:
It's just a major PITA finding 'sophisticated' girls...
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no such thing.

Servo888 said:
I've looked over the 'What's Happening on Campus' flier, and there is nothing remotely interesting going on. I've scoured meetup.com too; and activities which I find interesting are dominated with males or older women.
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But you said before that you preferred older women...

Servo888 said:
Where do I look?
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Under your bed, in the closet etc.

Servo888 said:
I also make a great pancake (60% of the time) :food:
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Be sure to use this as your opening pick up line.
 
So let me get this straight. You're looking for a sophisticated woman that you can share naughty nights with? Is that a possible combination? :D

Not many women are sophisticated in their early 20s, and if they are, they don't go out, either because their parents have already found the man they're going to marry, or because they have no interest in "ordinary" people ;)

What I think you mean is you want a woman that is classy who can get down in the bedroom, is lots of fun to be with, and makes you happy. Am I right?

OK, firstly, I think you're asking far too much. We're only human. And eventually you will find that the wanting is often far better than the having ;)

So here's an exercise for you: Why don't you spend a lot of time making a list of the most important qualities you want/need in a potential mate? List the qualities you can't tolerate. Now spend more time and narrow it down. Take even more time to really tweak this list. Spend endless hours trying to find this person, only to become more depressed that you can't find her.

Now that you've figured out your plan won't work, you can chill out and start to "live".

You can't control who you fall in love with. Don't waste your time trying to find these "specific determinants" for a potential mate. It's far, far better to take the whole package than to pick it apart.

And if all else fails, you still have your imagination :p
 
[Focus] said:
The thread, I don't get it.

Have you tried.. talking.. to.. people?
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I think that's the problem right there... My circle of friends, female and male, are just not my cup of tea. School's about to start, so I'll iron my shirts :ironing: , put on the happy face :action2: , and start going to these social events.

Cheers!
 
Dallen said:
You can say all the things you like about a girl, but then she'll have so many faults that counter that. The fact is, you concentrate on the negatives of a girl rather than the positives. We all have in our mind the perfect girl, but in the end, in order to love someone you'll have to accept all she is.
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Nobody ever loved perfect, you can admire it and even look up to it but you'll never love it. When you find the right girl you'll realise it's her imperfections you love as that's what makes different from the others

To the OP: the best way to find someone is to stop looking, be happy being single and just start talking to people; even if they aren't your type as I bet my bottom dollar the girl you end up happy with will be nothing like the one you just described and you'll probably end up meeting by chance. (I met the mother of my 2 kids when I stopped to ask her directions)
 
"seeking a girl...where do i look?"

dude there are girls everywhere. its up to you where you search for your "prey". wherever you are comfortable, dont do something that goes against your personality.
what im saying is simply be yourself; dont look for love(or relationship) in the wrong places. :]
 
What if you saw a girl in the same spot everytime you got off the bus? :p
 
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