Recently Started

[WLSean]

I'm knocking 40 and am in the worst shape of my life. Twin wakeup calls came when my clothes, which were already big, stopped fitting and I began to have nerve pain in my legs - not much and not consistently, but noticeable. I recently started on weight loss products and have started to lose a bit. Since starting the products, I'm sleeping better and have more energy, but the scale hasn't moved much.

I'm glad to find this forum, and I have a couple of questions. I hope that this is the appropriate place to ask them.

1) I'm nearly 400 lbs, so I have a very long journey ahead of me. I can't help but think that if I lose 20, 50, even 100+ pounds, I'll still be way overweight. Can anyone tell me (or tell me where I can find) information about benchmarks along the way? For example, I'm about 392 lbs now. Does dropping to, say, 375 make any difference, and if so what?

2) This may come down to just trying to ignore it, but any suggestions for dealing with noise? I don't really talk about weight loss with anyone, but if the topic comes up, or if I see videos or articles, there are always people offering advice. (For example, "You need to do weight training" or "Programs like that don't work. You need to do whatever diet.") However well intentioned it may be, I know myself and what I will/won't do, and it can be a challenge dealing with people who don't get that.

 

[Llama]

Can anyone tell me (or tell me where I can find) information about benchmarks along the way? For example, I'm about 392 lbs now. Does dropping to, say, 375 make any difference, and if so what?

The general recommendation is to focus on losing 5% of your bodyweight at first, as that can already make a big difference to your health and well-being. Yes, you'll still be overweight, but if you're not starving yourself you'll be overweight with the muscles of a heavier man to control your now-lighter body. From there you can see what works and what goal makes sense next.

This may come down to just trying to ignore it, but any suggestions for dealing with noise? I don't really talk about weight loss with anyone, but if the topic comes up, or if I see videos or articles, there are always people offering advice.

My go-to is nod, smile, "I'll look into it", subject change. You'll never convince some people their way won't work for everyone.

 

[Err2]

I was approaching 38 weighing 450 and currently weigh 212 about a year & a half later. Most of my aches & pains gradually went away - there was no weight where a switch got flipped.

I agree with Lama on the noise - any diet/plan that results in you eating fewer calories than you take in can work to lose weight, but one that 'can work' may not be best for you. And what works best for you at 400 probably won't be best for you at 300 or 250...

 

[Cate]

Welcome to the forum. I used to say that I am on a diet monitored by my doctor, which wasn't strictly true but used to get people off my back. Have you worked out a plan to consume fewer calories yet? Sometimes just logging your food can make you think twice about having something you probably shouldn't. It's a lot of work at first but gets easier as you go as you "save meals" that you eat regularly. I use My Fitness Pal, some who want more detailed info about macros use Cronometer. If you can start losing weight consistently without logging well & good, but it's handy to use especially when you hit a plateau. I think you will start to feel better physically when you are able to move better & more often. Maybe that will be around 375 lbs. Mentally you'll start to feel better as you see the scales go down.
I think you would find some helpful, non-judgemental support here in the forum. The diary section is the most active section & I for one would love to follow your story. You'll find it at Weight Loss Diary

 

[alligatorob]

Welcome Sean! And you are right to get this thing started. I remember when I started one of the best pieces of advice I got was a kind of question, something like "What else are you going to do with the next year of your life? Losing weight even a little would be better than gaining." It tuned out to be a very good way for me to look at it.

My milestones were just about eating right, not weight loss numbers, but eating right resulted in weight loss.

I'm about 392 lbs now. Does dropping to, say, 375 make any difference, and if so what?

Absolutely it will make a difference, you will feel better and more importantly better about yourself! And getting past that hard part of starting will be important.

You can do this!

 

[WLSean]

Thanks, Cate. I'm not calorie counting for now. I'm sure that I wouldn't stick with it, but I will take your suggestion for when I hit a plateau. For now, I'm doing meal replacements and supplements.

 

[Cate]

I hate calorie counting & am not good at it. I use it to get me back on track usually. Meal replacements can be a good way to kick things off, but learning to eat healthy food in the right amounts will be better later to change your habits for a lifetime. You probably realise that of course. I sometimes sound like a nagging nana
Err & Rob have successfully lost lots of weight & are proof that it can be done. They have both really switched their lives around & are so determined. If you have time check out their diaries, especially from the beginning. LaMa is in maintenance now & sticks around to support others & to help stay on track. You have found a great support group here. I hope you like it.

 

[Llama]

Also sticking around to prevent myself from relapsing though.

 

[WLSean]

"Meal replacements can be a good way to kick things off, but learning to eat healthy food in the right amounts will be better later to change your habits for a lifetime....

That was actually the kind of thing that I was talking about in terms of noise. I'm not suggesting that that wouldn't be ideal, but if meal replacements could get me near and keep me near a healthy weight, I could see myself being comfortable with doing them for the rest of my life.

Fact is, though, my weight sucks and has my entire life, and the day to day of this is... challenging to say the least, especially with my lifestyle and work situation. I'm sort of surprised myself that I'm willing to try losing weight again having tried and failed several times before, and anything that either minimizes what I am doing or makes the long journey ahead of me seem more complicated or challenging than it already is isn't helpful.

I'm sorry if I'm venting. I know that you're trying to be helpful. It's just that I see and hear things like this (among others) all the time, particularly over the past few days, and it's just not helpful. I know what I will do and what I won't do, and yes, maybe that'll change over time, but this is what I will do at least for now. And even if it's not giving me results as fast as I'd like, it's far, far healthier than what I was doing before. The "you should be doing this" or "you'll have to eventually do that" isn't going to get me to do it; it is discouraging and, if anything, would be much more likely to throw in the towel.

 

[Llama]

I'm not suggesting that that wouldn't be ideal, but if meal replacements could get me near and keep me near a healthy weight, I could see myself being comfortable with doing them for the rest of my life.

That's really all we want to hear. If it's something you can see yourself sticking to for life and it's not unhealthy it's worth doing. Cate and I have been here for a long time and I'm sure she'd agree we just see too many people who want to lose weight asap just to be able to go back to their old ways and that obviously doesn't work. I'm glad you are willing to make lasting changes, regardless of how long it will take.

 

[Cate]

I’m sorry. I was talking from my own experience there as I did the shake & supplement thing myself a long time ago, lost weight very quickly & ended up with an eating disorder & a lousy metabolism. It coloured my views.