Please help me i'm miserable

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omgitscole

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So I dont know why I decided to find a fitness forum... but maybe it will help me.

My name is Cole. I'm 21.... Ive been miserable for as long as I can remember. I think I started to gain weight in 10th grade..I play it off like it doesnt bother me. But inside I feel like im inside of a jail. I hate the way I look... I can remember a time in my life when I was happy. 10-14 years old. In great shape.. very athletic. I played all sports. Anyways.. so I always In highschool I lifted every day. So i had a decent ammount of muscle mass. So I weigh 275 right now. I hate admitting that. But The thing is I dont look like I weigh 275... I look like i weigh about 240 I guess. Anyways. Im not so out of shape I cannot exercize.. but I am very very insecure. Infact I normally will not go out without some type of certain clothing on.. for example, button up shirt.. hoodie.. .ect.

I just broke up with my gf of 2 years. And well it hit me very hard. Im not doing so well. So.. for the past 5 days ive been hitting this bike thing in the gym for about 30 mins each session 2 sessions a day. And I pump myself up and i do it hardcore... i get mad. I get angry and it helps me do it. Ive eliminated soda/beer/ and any sweet drinks out of my diet. Ive eliminated all fatty deserts, and anything really that would seem unhealthy.

So im going to tell you my exersize routine, and diet. Will you please tell me if i can achieve goals with this?

I wake up at about 10am. I go to the local appartment gym, and do the Bike for 30 minutes. ( i cant eat in the morning for some reason, food sounds nasty ) So then after that. at about 12 Ill go to a subway and ill get a 6inch turkey, with lettace, onion, banana pepper, mustard, olives. And thats IT. Ill have an apple sauce in between 12 and 8pm. At 8pm i go into the gym, i lift.. I bench/incline, and do some dumbell type stuff (i work my chest alot) thats where im insecure about more then anywhere. Then I will bike again after that for 30 minutes. that puts me at about 9pm I guess. after that I normally relax... and sometimes Ill open a can of tuna aroud 11.... and thats it. now the subway thing is not every day.. jus cuz im not rich. It sucks because i cant afford to eat heathy it seems like.. mcdonalds dollar menu is so cheap. haha. Anyays.... can someone give me a diet routine.. or something....

What can I do to improve my weight loss.. I mean i am miserable I cry randomly i hate myself. I hate my life.. I cant even go to school and sit down in a normal chair if people are behind me because im so insecure about my love handles.. its REDICULOUS. im 21 years OLD!!!!!!!!!!!! I should be able to love myself and have fun. I see all these kids with there shirts off playing football outside and it hurts me so bad. I mean i dont want to admit this but i feel like sometimes death would be better than feeling the way I feel.

What can i do........

I would like to be at about 210 pounds. so a weight loss goal of 65 pounds. I would liek to lose 3-5 pounds per week...........
 
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I'm not one of the diet guru's around here but it sounds like you're not eating enough. Every report I've read says eat breakfast due to the increased metabolism throughout the day. Even an egg and some toast would be better than nothing and your dinner sounds miserable. If you lose weight it won't be the cardio it'll be starvation.

Your body needs energy to allow you to workout like that, give it some. Create a calorie defecit but don't make it a two thousand calorie defecit unless you're ready to pass out in the gym. Someone else can key you in with better diet/eating facts.
 
About 2 years ago I could relate to a lot of the feelings you are having. And until your last paragraph I was right with you. Those feelings are not normal, and should not be overlooked. You need to talk to a school counselor, parents, or a loved one that understands. Try to stay positive, you want to better yourself. You have already done the hard part, you have taken that first step. The rest (over time) you will come to love and enjoy as the rest of us do, and eventually you will build that confidence back and fitness will be a key role in your life.

First - Read every sticky on this site, browse all forums and read everything you can. Ask questions, anything.

As of now it is hard to fix your diet (mainly because you are not eating much and it is not in the format we usually correct in)

Tips- You have to train yourself to eat breakfast, it is really important that you have a meal before you workout.

You are cutting out all the bad stuff, thats good.

What kind of bread are you eating?

What types of food do you have access too? Also, eating healthy is cheap, and Subway is not the only option (not a even a good option IMO)


Format- Put your diet in like this.

Meal 1 -

Meal 2 -

Meal 3 -

Meal 4 -

Meal 5 -

Meal 6 -

(Yes, you should be eating 5-7 meals a day)

Also, 3-5 lbs is too big of a goal. You should be shooting for 2-3 lbs a week. You may lose a lost these first few weeks, then it will slow down.

As for your work out. You cant spot reduce. Read the stickies and you will gain a lot of knowledge. Come back with a new diet plan and workout ideas.
 
I always eat wheat bread.

Ok so 6 small meals a day what does that mean.?

An applesauce at 3pm is considered a meal? in the 6 meals a day?


breakfast

snack

snack

lunch

snack

dinner

???
 
I feel ya, and understand where your coming from. But, I think your just not eating FREQUENT enough to keep FUEL IN THE FURNICE, while at the same time TRACKING what EXACTLY your calories going IN versus what ENERGY is going out.........these are KEY if your goal is fat loss. Eating frequent meals about every 3 to 4 hours, keeps the matabolism going and churning. You MUST know your BASE calories needs (for breathing, and organ function, etc), and then figure in work, and other activities (an approximation science) for remaining on what your caloric needs are for a PARTICULAR DAY, then back off---an appropriate amount, if your goal is to lose weight, if it is to gain, then ADD an appropriate amount. It is this simple most of the time, though,,,,,,,,,yes, plateaus can develop.........this is just a sign that a CHANGE needs to be made............let me know what else I can help you with, Cheers,,,,,,,,,,,Chillen
 
but how do i know how many calories are in a slice of bread.. or how many calories are in 1 egg?

How can i keep track of calories when... i dont know how many are in each meal I eat?


If I get up at 9am and eat a piece of toast and an egg... How many calories am i eating?
 
omgitscole said:
I always eat wheat bread.

Ok so 6 small meals a day what does that mean.?

An applesauce at 3pm is considered a meal? in the 6 meals a day?


breakfast

snack

snack

lunch

snack

dinner

???
Click to expand...

I don't like to think of them as snacks. The idea of breakfast, lunch, and dinner is old school. You want several equal meals every few hours.

No, applesauce is not a meal. It is usually filled with sugar, so I would cut that too.

Each meal needs protein, and you should try to have a veggie with each meal as well. Check out , after you find your BMR you can play around with it to see what you need.

Read those stickies.
 
You keep a eating journal---AND MAKE A FEW SECONDS OF TIME TO DO IT. You look at labels, you go online and search (how many calories in ?, and a BUNCH of sites will come up and you can find calories in ANYTHING online). You go online and see approximated calories burned for activities based on your weight, age, sex, and TIME in the activity (for healthy people). You write down EVERYTHING that goes in the mouth, and after a time, you wont have to do this any more,,,,,,,as you will already educated yourself in what you eat and will know the calories. If time wont allow you to write it when you eat, keep it in your mind so you can write it down later. THEN after a time, (and get what worked for me lif you would like), this TRACKING if plateaus develop you can look back at your caloric intake and what you had eaten say for a month, and make adjustements,,,,flying by the seat of pants generally does not work. In my opinion, you have DR PHIL you attitude (at least in this instance), and be a bad ass to get the job DONE...........losing weight IS NOT EASY, but dont let this be an excuse to QUIT.......be strong, be tough, reach for that dang goal and GO GET IT! you can do it!
 
no, 1200 is far to little with what I know about you. You have to remember this is an approximation science. There are several tools online for this. I have used the Benedict scale ( I think this is what its called), where you plug in your age, weight, and sex (now remember, this one DOES NOT TAKE INTO ACCOUNT the BUILD, and is only accurate to a point--I can explain WHY this is true later). THis will give you your BASE (or what your body needs to function (mine was 1600 to 1650---WITHOUT activites included). Then one uses a multiplier that is included to factor in activites. But, I went further than this. I took my base 1600 to 1650, and personalized it to my activity level. In other words, I took the base, wake hours, sleep hours, work hours, and workout time, and cardio time, and factore these in per day--dependent on how much of each one I was doing (and just dealt with averages of the caloric burning on activites, and backed it off 300 to 500 calories, and weight dropped like a rock. (for example, generally perople burn betwen 60 to 80 calories PER HOUR for sleeping, find out what calories you burn for work---(most of the time I sit, and a person of my weight and age burns about 120 per hour, so I calculate I need about 1,000 calories for work), see where Im going with this?..............Yes, this is indepth and serious, but WE HAVE TO GET SERIOUS to lose weight in my opinion................
 
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I am having trouble attaching a Excel 2007 file, I wanted to show as an example......IM working on this, I may have to send it 2morrow
 
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For exercise, try this:

5x cardio. Maintain your heart rate for at least 20 minutes.
3x strength. Work different parts on different days. Afterwards, hit cardio for 20 minutes, try a HITT at least once a week.

Also, for calories count in food, try looking at these two sites:



They're both really great sites.

Also, think about keeping a journal. Write down everything you do and eat, so you can have a good idea on what you need to do.


Also, a final comment. I understand how you feel. I weight in about 240, and thus far I lost roughly 20 pounds in roughly 2 1/2 months. I started off on a really bad diet, but then I started to get what to eat and what not to eat and it's going kind of good. I lost 1 1/2 pounds from last week, so that's good. My goal is 190, which is really far off and I really don't know if I can make it but hopefully I can.

As a general rule, you shouldn't worry about what other people think about you. Sure, being large has its disadvantages, but by no means you're very large that you should be ashamed of yourself. Take it easy and enjoy yourself. I mean if you can't enjoy yourself now, then losing all the weight is really going to do nothing for you because you'll just have the same feeling at the end. People swear that losing weight will make them happier, but it doesn't; it's your perception of yourself that really makes you happy.

Good luck.
 
I agree, remember this about other people: They **** in the same fricken pot. On this subject, who are they to judge YOU. ALL persons who walk this earth have mental complications of their own, some mask them, some show them obviously, BUT NOT OF THEM are better then the next person--even of they look better and even if they have more money--we are ALL made the same, only difference (physically) is the color of our skin. DO NOT continue this depressed road, if you do, its like starting a pot hole, everyday you think like this it gets deeper and deeper. In contrast--------IF YOU DO something positive to change it, the hole fills back up. PICK UP, STAND UP, quit feeling sorry for yourself, and GET ROCKEN! Another thing: the feeling your feeling right now (the STRONG SENSE OF PITY, LOW WORTH, LOW SELF ESTEEM, ETC),,,,,,,,,,IS THE SAME strong FEELING IN THE OPPOSITE WHEN YOU REACH GOALS AND SEE YOUR SELF TRANSFORMING INTO THE GOALS YOU SET FOR YOUR SELF, MATTER OF FACT ITS stronger and better, no feeling beats it (UH, MAYBE A COUPLE, lol). If you want this feeling you have to earn it, pay sacrifices of time and food (cry all you want, it doesnt change the law of energy balance), and go after it............Set up yourself for success, think positive..weed out the utter BS..........Chillen
 
I agree, remember this about other people: They **** in the same fricken pot. On this subject, who are they to judge YOU. ALL persons who walk this earth have mental complications of their own, some mask them, some show them obviously, BUT NOT OF THEM are better then the next person--even of they look better and even if they have more money--we are ALL made the same, only difference (physically) is the color of our skin. DO NOT continue this depressed road, if you do, its like starting a pot hole, everyday you think like this it gets deeper and deeper. In contrast--------IF YOU DO something positive to change it, the hole fills back up. PICK UP, STAND UP, quit feeling sorry for yourself, and GET ROCKEN! Another thing: the feeling your feeling right now (the STRONG SENSE OF PITY, LOW WORTH, LOW SELF ESTEEM, ETC),,,,,,,,,,IS THE SAME FEELING IN THE OPPOSITE WHEN YOU REACH GOALS AND SEE YOUR SELF TRANSFORMING INTO THE GOALS YOU SET FOR YOUR SELF, MATTER OF FACT ITS stronger and better, no feeling beats it (UH, MAYBE A COUPLE, lol). If you want this feeling you have to earn it, pay sacrifices of time and food (cry all you want, it doesnt change the law of energy balance), and go after it............Set up yourself for success, think positive..weed out the utter BS..........Chillen
 
This may not be completely accurate but it will give you a start.



You just plug in your stats to give you an idea. Then you divide the calories by the number of meals (5-7) and that should be your aim at every meal.

Typically you can subtract 500 for safe weight loss.

Like it's been said, the hard part you've done (admiting that you need to make a change to lose the weight). The rewards will be SO worth it!!
Good luck!!
 
The reason its so hard for me to be overweight is becuase, I feel like im in a jail. I feel locked inside myself. I cant be who I used to be. Its not about other people (in general) It's about me feeling like I cant be myself.

I have been doing 45 minutes of cardio 5x a week. And 3 days of strength training. Well not so far. But I started that cycle about 2 days ago.

So in general I will be doing 45 minutes on the bike monday,tuesday,wed,friday,saturday.

And on Mondays, Wed, Fridays I will do strength training.


Does it matter what cardio I do? I really enjoy the bike for some reason... I notice when I run I dont get out of breath but my legs hurt really bad after about 5-10 minutes.

Im sick of feeling this way. So I have been doing things about it. I cut soda out of my life, I cut beer out of my life. I dont eat fried foods, I dont eat Chocolate, or candy. Most of my meals consisit of eather going to subway because is amazing and if i do go to subway ill grab a 6inch turkey with all vegies.. or i grill some chicken at home. Snacks during the day i normaly eat an apple or carrot.

Ill start doing the journal thing. And in a week Ill come back and post what i ate every day for a week.

Thank you for your support.. Because in reality i have nobody i can really talk to in REAL LIFE about this becuase im embarrassed. So thank you.





ALSO:

I just did that calorie per day counter. It says i need 3140 per day. So if I shed 500 of that it comes out to 2640... That seems like alot... still. Lol. If i intake 2500 calories per day... then I will lose roughly 2 pounds per week? right? I dont know 2640 just seems like alot, for someone trying to lose weight.
 
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My stats are F/110/very active and I should take in around 2000 calories just to maintain.

Remeber that you'll be strenght training and working out those muscles. They need to be fed. 2600 calories doesn't mean, two pizzas and burgers/fries. It means 2600 'good' calories. From your lean meats/tuna/carbs like veggies and fruits. If you look around try to find LV's grocery list. All great stuff to eat that tastes good! IMO

Try that and see how it goes and adjust it as you need. Also don't go by the numbers on the scale alone but also by how your body looks and feels instead. If you're looking thinner and leaner (gaining muscle and letting it show) then the numbers are inconsequential.

This is where the fun part starts...working hard and letting your progress show and being proud of it by posting pictures!!:)
 
I used to be in a similar boat to you. I was JUST under 300lbs at about 6'3. I'm about 230 right now. It all started with my mind. I thought about it, and realized that my body was completely under my control (to an extent). If I wanted to lose weight, I could. It was just a matter of committing. So I started eating less, walking in the morning, etc. Eventually I took up cycling. Its been working great, I'm in the best shape of my life and getting better everyday. If you like the bike, I'd say stick with that. Get yourself a road bike or something, and ride. I am absolutely amazed at the progress I have made. When I first started riding I could barely ride a mile without being out of breath. Now I routinely ride 20-30 miles 4-5x a week. It's all progression. Don't expect results too fast.
 
same as jeffry, im no fitness guru either

but from readin the stickies on here i've manadged to get extreemly close to my goal. read them over and stick with it man and start a journel on here, im always meenin to, never get around to it though :D

good luck
 
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