Newbie/ why I'm fat.

[Rick7941]

Hi everyone. I began my weight loss journey at 330 pounds. I currently am 318, so I still have a ways to go. My goal weight is 200. Growing up I was always overweight as many of you probably were. As a child going out to eat would be an almost every day occurrence. I began too and still to this day see food as a friend/ comfort for my issues, and because of this my weight continued to climb and by the age of 14 I was 270 pounds. And I looked at myself in the mirror and thought "now is the time to change, so I did but not healthily, I essentially starved myself, but it "worked" I was losing 7 pounds a week and as one summer passed I was 219 the thinnest I could remember being. But for some my supposed best friend began to pick on me daily on the bus calling me fat or yelling earthquake as I got on the bus- constant bullying for a 40 minute bus ride. This lasted for 2 years... From then on I suffer from anxiety, and have a tough time trusting people or going into public places. Because of this anxiety, I turned to my friend "food" to ease it. Fast forward to when I was about 20 and I skyrocketed way past my height of 270 and got up to where I was recently 330. I looked in the mirror and said time to change so I did and as you probably guessed I starved myself and it "worked" I lost 50 pounds in 8 weeks. And I was happier but not necessarily healthier. The way I was eating or lack of was unsustainable and with the stress of college and a job all I felt I could do to ease that anxiety was to eat. And so I ate and ate and ate..... back to 330 but a month ago I had an "aha" moment. I realized that I am worth it. And that was a big first step for me. But I also made a promise to myself to do it the right way. So, I eat 2,300 calories a day and exercise 6 days a week and have already started to feel better. Not everything is perfect I suffer from anxiety still, and with school coming up again I am terrified, but no matter what people may say, I am worth it.
Thank you for reading, I look forward to reading your stories and reading your comments.

 

[IAmGoingToTri]

Hi Rick! Welcome to this forums! Great to have you here! By the way, I arrived only yesterday, so I guess we are both quite new here!

I see that you are a fighter, and that you are doing great now! Don't worry about "perfect", it will not come, what matters is how well you manage to deal with different circumstances. Sometimes losing weight is easy, and it comes naturally, sometimes it is harder. Stress, temptation and fear will come in your way, and it is sure that you will lose some battles from these. If you learn to see these as opportunities to learn, instead of "failures", you will become unbeatable!

Be willing to do whatever it takes to win this fight, and you will do this. I am not saying that it will be easy, but it is sure that you can do it. Personally, I had moments that I decided that I needed to look for professional help to get me past some obstacles. On other times, I asked my friends for help (later I helped them when they needed it). This was humbling, but it got me where I am now. After 10+ years of struggling, I beat my biggest problems.

Haha, now that I read this I see that I wrote some kind of pep-talk for you. Anyways, I hope it does you a bit good, even if it's temporary. Take care!