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Angel_sa

Angel_sa

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Hi everyone,

Well i am new to the forum but not so new to Cohens! Have been reading on the forum for just over a week now and you all sound like amazing ppl and WOW to all of you that have done so well!

I started my plan the first time around on the 1 May this year, stuck to it religiously for just over a month and managed to lose 12kg's, somehow lost the plot and then managed to regain about 5 of the 12. Started it again about a month again but just cannot seem to not deviate, don't know why i keep doing it! Like most ppl, i do so well in the day at work, but the minute i get home or weekends i just can't seem to help myself, and hate myself for doing it. I have about 35kg's to lose so really can't afford to be deviating all the time. Oh and in the month and a bit I have been on it i have lost the 5 again.

Anyway just thought i would share that about myself! Hope you all have an amazing weekend cheat free!

Angela
 
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Hi Angela & welcome to the forum. It may help to see someone re the self-sabotage. I saw a counsellor about 3 months into the program & it helped me a lot. I hid behind my fat. It's best to deal with any underlying problems as soon as you can. I recommend it. I'm in a bit of a rush today but just wanted to welcome you. Cheers, cate.
 
Hi Cate,

Thank you so much for the response. Yours was one of the diaries i have been reading and saw in the beginning you went through a very rough patch, but you have recovered brilliantely!! You could be an inspiration to anyone trying to do Cohen's!

I will definitely give it a thought as it may be what i need to do, had a terrible weekend, not really eating wise, but health wise, have had to go back on my diabetes medicine and have been stuggling big time with my tummy, constantly feeling bloated! Another hurdle i suppose.

hope you all had a great weekend and have a great week ahead!

Angela
xx
 
If I didn't look twice, i would've thought it was my post I was reading!!! I was in exactly the same place as you a couple of weeks ago. And to make it just a bit worse, my work aids us to put on weight. The cafetteria is always filled with cakes, cookies, sweets, you name it! It took 3 weeks of eating everything that was not on the plan to make me realise that I can't keep doing it anymore. I want what everybody else on here wants, to lose all the excess weight. I felt like a 'glutton' and I was constantly getting headaches because of all the junk that I was eating. But through the storm there came a rainbow!
If I crave something, and I'm near close eating it, I tell myself that I will never get to my goal weight if I keep stuffing my face. The way you justify to yourself, 'tomorrow I'll start again,' only makes it harder in the long run and the vicious cycle begins.
Be strong, we all know you can do it!!!!!:party:
 
Hi Nicky,

Thanks for the reply!! I can relate to you 100%, at my work we also have catered lunches everyday and everytime it is someones birthday or a special occasion there are cakes and savoury snacks. Still struggling with the diet, but been trying my best not to deviate not that it has worked, i can say that i'm not in it whole heartedly and know that is my biggest problem, i know when i started cohens the first time around my mindset was SO much better than it is now and for some reason i just can't seem to turn it around, just really very demotivated right now and need to work on myself as Cate mentioned above!!
Thank you so much for your motivation, i have been on the site the whole week reading through everyones diaries and so excited to find out that out internet at home has eventually been installed so now i can actually spend some quality time over the weekend reading the forum.
I love the diary idea and have been thinking maybe that would also be a nice way to motivate myself as i read by someone else, you almost feel reesponsible to it when you have to write in it! These are are all the thoughts running through my head at the moment so excuse me for rambling on a bit....

Hope you have a great weekend and well done on your loss so far you seem to be doing great and you don't have much further to go :)

Till later
Angela
 
Hi Angela and welcome to the forums!

You're definitely not alone! I have had an awful week self-sabotaging myself and justifying it to myself by 'I'll get back on it tomorrow' etc... I think I've eaten everything that I THOUGHT I was missing out on this week - thinking I was going to feel better at the end of it. But do you know what? I feel just awful. Even as I was deviating I was thinking to myself 'I cant wait to be back on cohens 100%'. It's also so true that once you deviate, its so hard to get back on it... those 3 days or so you have to push through the evil voice in your head telling you to eat sugar because you're craving it so bad, the headaches... your body detoxing again. That's what I'm struggling with! I know once I'm through those 3 days and I'm feeling great again, I'll get back into my routine.

So Angela perhaps just remember to take one day at a time... every meal and every day counts even if we sometimes try and tell ourselves that it does not! Keep working hard and thinking about how great you'll feel every day you get through without a deviation.

Sorry if I babbled, I just know exactly where you're at, and I also need to take my own advice!!!!!! Today is a new day :)

Best of luck and I hope to be reading your diary soon :)

Take care
Kristy xo
 
I guess what helps me, because there is moments of struggling most days, is that I want to rest my head on my pillow in bed at the end of the day knowing it was a good day, and that I will wake up the next morning thinner.
On days when I deviate, even if it is as small as not having my 5 hours between meals, eating too close to bedtime or going over my fruit quota I feel disappointed in myself and know I could have done better.
Preparation is the key, always. With shopping and having the kitchen stocked with good options, freezing portions, making extra batches of meals in moments of enthusiasm so there are easy options for those busy nights.
I find my weakest moments are right before meals, so I drink my water then and maybe stick a piece of ExtraChewingGum in my mouth!! Whatever it takes!
Cravings do pass, only in a few minutes, the more we resist, the easier it becomes.
All the very best to you!
 
Hi all,

Kristy and shine, thank you for your words of encourgment and it's a small relief to know i'm not the only one who just cannot seem to stick to the diet 100%....

Well had the most awful weekend ever, i have the most amazing boyfriend and he is so supportive, even to go as far as if i'm tired or something he will make my food for me or help me prepare everything, he eats what i eat, only in bigger quantaties of coure (and you must see how much weight he lost and he doens't even need to, lol) but anyway, at the moment i think i could actually be sabotaging my own relationship as i am fighting with him for no reason whatsoever, i'm constantly grumpy about the fact that i am not losing weight but at the same time know it is my own fault as i am the one who keeps deviating and messing up, at the point that i feel like i just want to give up now with it, but also know i can't live with myself looking like this.... Was so nasty to him on friday night and again fought with him.... We have made up and he has forgiven but for how long will he keep forgiving me, i really need to get my head in the right space, just don't know how!!!!

Thanks to everyone who has responded and for giving me a little bit of hope, hope you all had a great weekend and have a great week ahead!

One day at a time, one day at a time is all i am going to keep telling myself :)

Angela
xxx
 
Hi Angela, sorry that you're going through a tough patch. I really hope you can get yourself back to that place where you were motivated.
Along with a diary here, a written journal can be helpful. I have been keeping one this time around and I'm sure it's helped.
When it came to getting back on Cohens, the times it's really worked for me, wasn't when I had planned to start it. One day I woke up, and thought enoughs enough, and knew it was the right time.
I think when we are trying to change a habit, we spend a lot of time thinking about what triggers the habit, but not so much about what triggers our motivation. Both triggers can happen in a nano second, and both can be hard to identify, when we aren't actually experiencing them.
My husband is really suppportive of me, but when I was trying to do Cohens against my will, we would argue. If he encouraged me, I'd reason he doesn't understand what it's like to be a female with hormones etc etc. If he told me not to do it because my head was in the wrong place I'd be angry with him for not being supportive. This time, I've changed my attitude. If your mind isn't ready, it will look for excuses not to do it. Working out why you aren't ready and writing it down, can put it in perspective. it may not look like such a big issue afterall. A list of pro's and cons once in black and white, can simplify things and make even the hardest task seem possible.
One other thing that really used to stall me was if I had a social occasion coming up, I'd get so stressed and wonder if I should wait until it's over, instead of planning what to eat, what to say etc. Could you be worrying about all the things including and leading up to christmas? There are ways of dealing with these events without throwing in the towel.
I hope you're have a good day today. x
 
Hi Angela, I have been thinking lately about motivation- what triggers it, what changes it etc. I know that you are struggling at the moment & going through a tough time, as are others & that must be very hard. I try not to jump in before I give something a lot of thought.

When I did Cohen's I was feeling good about myself but something had clicked in my brain & I decided that if I continued to be overweight my health would more than likely deteriorate as I got older. I was not coming from a bad place. Sure, I did not feel happy being so big but I did not have self-loathing or disgust with myself. I knew that being big didn't make me a bad person. We had a holiday in Vietnam & I had felt huge compared to Vietnamese people & was unable to walk as well as I would have wanted to.

I also figured out that I was hiding behind my fat & I felt brave enough to venture out. Luckily I heard about Cohen's by coincidence, made an ap't & signed up & paid on the spot. It made sense to me & I decided to give it my all. I'm a bit like that.

I had my ups & downs as I went along though. I shed lots of tears & my job, got very stressed & anxious, saw a counsellor, read lots of books about motivation, found this forum early, typed in here daily and completed the program in 28 weeks, shedding 36kgs along the way. I think I read anything that I thought might help. It is not easy for anyone, including me. I won't pretend that it was.

I think that I had less trouble than some with following the program because I decided to put my faith in it totally. I read how people lost the plot when they deviated so I didn't. Because I did not deviate at all the weight came off me consistently so I did not lose that faith that it does work if you stick to it 100%. Keeping it off on maintenance has been harder because I have had to make my own boundaries & rules.

What I think might help you is to sit down & write down your reasons for wanting to be slim. I'll go find a thread we had a fair while ago & bump it. Keep your list to yourself if you like but try to be brutally honest with yourself. Perhaps write a list of what being overweight means to you now & then what you think it would mean to you if you were slim. Weigh up the pros & cons.

Have a good talk to your BF about how you are feeling. That's always a good idea. He may have ideas to help you with motivation. It will help him understand you better & probably help you understand yourself better too.
I assume you haven't bought a new program. If not, think about maybe starting again from scratch at some date in the future, perhaps after Christmas, if that would be easier for you. (My start date was end of Jan.) Make a day to start & give yourself a break mentally in the meantime. Relax.

If you are trying to come from a place where you are giving yourself a hard time & not loving & nurturing yourself then it will be very hard. I would really try to work on that. If you can see a counsellor I'm sure that would help & I would focus on building self-esteem. Like me, you will possibly sit there bawling your eyes out at some stage, but it's worth facing the demons!

I'm not a counsellor & I wish I could help you more. Knowing that you have our support is one thing but ultimately you need to find the strength that is in you & learn to believe in yourself & love yourself. That is the hardest battle. It's there. We all have it. You deserve to be slim & healthy Angela & it's in you to achieve it.

I'm sending you some extra strength, support & a big hug, xo Cate
 
Hi there,

Cate - thank you for your reply, think you have given me a lot to think about, went and read the thread you bumped and definitely going to take some time and think about what my reasons are for wanting to lose weight other than the obvious ones. I definitely need to sit down with my BF as the last thing I would want to do is lose him and over my own insecurities and my issues, he is amazing and i should be using his support not pushing him away!

L-Jay - i think you may be right regarding the holidays coming up and Cate made a vaild point as well when she said maybe i should take some time out and restart in the new year, just don't want to pick up anymore so also going to have to think about if it is the right thing to do, but yes the festive season is going to be very difficult for me as for everyone else, but if i don't go into it with the right mindset i will just land up messing it up as well, and land up punishing myself mentally even more.

Thank you to everyone who has taken time to respond and give me advice, it really has given me inspiration to want to continue the journey with sorting my mind out before i do that, Cate i think i will be going to see a consultant again and starting from scratch with a new plan, being on and off cannot be any good for our bodies and i can definitely feel mine is taking immense strain at the moment with all the ups and downs...

Hope you all have a great day/evening.

Angela
Xxxx
 
Well, you may have bought yourself some time to sort your head out. A good thing at this time of the year, is that many people make resolutions. It can be very insightful, to stand back at social gatherings and look at people you know well. Are they happy? Have they reached their personal goals? Is they way they act, consistent with what they say they want?

Out of this exercise, you will find good role models, and then there will be ones who have been paddling round in a circle for years, not getting anywhere. Decide which one you want to be. Learn from your role model. Because, this time next year, you can be in a completely different place. The icing on the cake is that you wont take 12 months to get there on Cohens. By this time next year, you will be maintaining your happy healthy lifestyle, being a role model for someone else.

Sometimes it is as simple as telling yourself that you will start acting consistently with what you say you want. (That kind of thinking may help with keep things under some sort of control over the festive season, so you don't end up with a bigger problem on your hands.)

Sorry for the long post. There was something else I just remembered which I thought of yesterday. You are still in front by 7kgs. That's enough to notice a difference in how clothes fit. Some people say wearing tighter clothes helps them to stay on track, others say feeling how much looser their old clothes are helps. Personally wearing clothes that make me feel good, and thinner, it can vary between either of the above, is what makes the difference. Over the next few weeks, wear what makes you feel happy and confident. When you feel like that it's much easier to curb what you eat. Then, when you decide to go back on the program, you will still be in front. 7kgs is like a stone. It;s a good loss. Don't take it for granted. You've done really well. x
 
Where in SA if I may ask? Maybe if we stay close to each other we could help motivate each other or you could just pick up the phone? I'm in Tokai, Cape Town...
 
Hey Nicky,

No problem at all, stay in JHB, bit far from each other but the phone thing would be pretty easy :) I grew up in CT moved to JHB 9 years ago, i know don't ask why :)
 
hello :)

hi angel :)

thank you for posting on my thread. i stay in jhb too.
you (as everyone already said) are so right about the mind set before dieting thing. in my past i usually managed to last on a diet for 2 weeks. fortunately i have a tendency to think and plan in my head before i act on a cheat. i know i'm not going to just reach out and grab that treat. i think... and sometimes convince myself that i dont want to diet anymore before i make that move.

the thing for me, that keeps me on the right path is this.... as soon as the thought process of considering giving up or cheating enters my head, i immediately tell myself that that is NOT AN OPTION. i'm trying the boot camp style, but instead of someone telling me, i gotta say it to myself.
CHEATING IS NOT AN OPTION!!!!! thats my motto now :)

good luck with getting mentally prepared. i look forward to following your thread and seeing you succeed

take care and stay strong
kurl :)
 
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