New member - Hi i'm Kyle - Any help appreciated.

[Kyletibs]

Hi there my Name is Kyle - Im 28 years old, and I've always had a problem with my weight - even talking about it is pretty tough..

I weigh 19.7 stone - 6ft 2in

Ill be honest - It effects me massively, not wanting to leave the house, making excuses not to see my friends. In recent years i have become far more self conscious... Being the big guy isn't always fun, and the funny guy routine wares "thin" after 20 years or so.

I have tried dieting , i just have real trouble sticking with them - Or set myself unreasonable tasks ( 2 bowls of bran flakes per detect..)

I do have a supportive girlfriend - who is great but i feel awkward in public, like i don't deserve her - and she has even said a few times i do need to lose bit of weight.. Initially that really upset me, but she is right.

I have tried the gym, but again my insecurities make it fairly unbearable - I do try to walk everyday - But subconsciously again i feel insecure as if people are judging / laughing at me... I always prefer to try and cover up with a coat or jumper - and genuinely prefer when its raining / cold so i wont have to wear a t shirt.. even going as far wearing a compression top to hide my man boobs when wearing a shirt or going out ... Sounds crazy i know...

Its clear that its a vicious cycle - Im fat because i don't exercise enough and i comfort eat ... but I'm miserable because I'm fat.

I find it very hard to talk to friends / family about this all - Ive always adapted the "cool guy " Persona ... I hope that doest come across arrogant, But I feel as if i try to convince everyone else I'm happy to live the lie myself.. Apologies if that makes no sense at all!

Well.. Genuinely this is a first for me regarding expressing my feelings/ worries, or even using an online forum - But any feedback would be massively appreciated.

Cheers,

Kyle

 

[allcdnboy1]

Welcome to the forum.

You are definitely not alone in those feelings and that is key. There are generally 3 types of people:
- those that are thinking the exact same thing. They are so concerned about what others think of themselves they don't have time to judge others
- those that ARE judging others, but it's mainly because they are self-conscious about themselves and it helps make themselves feel better
- those that just don't care about anyone

Once you realize that 95% of people are too wrapped up in their own problems, you can walk around freely knowing that no one really cares. Obviously, easier said than done.

 

[Kayla2424]

Hi Kyle,

I feel the exact same way! So your not alone in this. I gained alot of weight in the past 4 years from having kids....it has caused me to have depression, and stay away from people...period. But I want to change, I dont want to be in this "funk" any more. I want to be happy and confident with myself! Ive recently started walking more, counting calories (not that great), and drinking water instead of soda. Its the little things that helps Good luck to you!

 

[allcdnboy1]

Welcome Kayla. The small things can make the biggest difference. Once you get used to how many calories you should eat in a day, you won't need to calorie count anymore.