New here-advice needed!

J

Jillian

New member
Hi everyone,
I'm Jillian and I'm new to this site. I have been going through a hard time with my weight and it has really got me depressed. I thought that by joining this message board I might get the encouragement and motivation I need.

Anyways, a little about me:

I'm 22 years old, work full time, and am completing my last 2 college courses right now. I've been dating someone for over 5 years, and after about a year we became comfortable with eachother, and I gained about 15 pounds. I was originally about 135 pounds (5'8) when I met him, got up to about 150 at my heaviest. I realized that going out to eat all the time had really taken a toll on me so I started cutting down, and got down to about 140lbs easily. Then, last spring he and I started having relationship problems, and between stress, staying busy, working out, and cutting down drastically, I got down to 120 lbs. While that is low for my height, I looked great and felt great. I was so happy with myself. At this time, we were separated, which made it easy to stick to my program. We got back together at the end of the summer, I started eating more, we started going back out to eat, and I slowed my lifestyle down as well as quit exercising. Needless to say the weight piled back on and now I'm up to 138. Now I'm having the hardest time getting back down to the 120's, and can't fit into any of my clothes. I think I have really damaged my metabolism by going up and down in weight over the years, and my body has found a setpoint it wants to stay at, that I am not happy with. I don't need to get back down to 120, but would like to get to about 125-128 lbs, at which I looked and felt my best, and for once was really happy with my body.
Now, even when I exercise and cut down on calories, I can't seem to lose any weight. It is extremely hard to eat less because now I have an appetite that is out of control.
Has anyone else ever gained weight back rapidly then found it hard to lose again? How did you lose that weight? Exercise/eating tips would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,
Jillian
 
Hey Jillian. :) Welcome. I know where you are coming from. I had the same problem. I went from 145lbs to 110 lbs when I was going through a divorce. I am now remarried and have slowly put back on the pounds with interest. I can honestly say that I've had a really hard time getting it off also. This website is totally awesome. There are so many really neat tips and tons of support and advice. I do believe that going up and down in weight so often really stresses out our metabolism. You are still pretty young and oh so tall. I wish I had the height. I'm 5'4" and weighing 145lbs makes me look short and frumpy. Exercise and a proper diet is definately the key. Once that becomes a habit, then I'm confident that you will see the lbs drop once again.

Keep your chin up.
 
Hey there Hon!
I'll tell you, when I was your age I was in a "comfortable" relationship for a number of years. After about 3 years I started putting on the weight, then when I caught him cheating on me after 5 years, I dumped him and gained and gained and gained. My highest got up to 203 and now I'm just under 200...I'm only 5'4!:( Unfortunitly, I was totally unaware there was a problem, until it was an unbelievable problem. So good for you to want to be doing something before it becomes a real problem! Can I suggest that you in some way change your work out, if you use a heap load of exercise equipment, try a cardio class instead. When weight training, try a different move. Do you use the exercise ball? If not, try it out! I love them!!!:D I know there's also the half balls, I haven't had the opportunity to try one out but I hear great things. So really what I'm trying to say is spice up your work out. You'll have more fun, and your body will react to the work out that it's not use to! Good luck!!
 
Welcome!
Have you enlisted your SO's support? For instance, my dh does his own "snack" shopping so that I can avoid that aisle at the grocery store. He also keeps all his snacks on the top shelf. (I'm short and would have to get a chair...) I know that eating while cooking/cleaning up is one of my downfalls, so I just wish he would take that over, but I guess a girl can't have everything!
Good luck and I'm looking forward to your posts.
Totallyscrappy
 
Yeah dont we all wish our husbands would do more...whoever made this idea that women were supposed to do everything should be shot hahaha :)
 
Thanks everyone. Unfortunately I don't much support from my bf, he likes me at a higher weight, at which I'm unhappy with myself. I personally think he should want me to be where I am happy with myself. He brings home sweets and other junk food I can't resist and makes me feel bad if I dont have "a taste", and usually that bite is 100 calories or more, worth 20 minutes of exercise. We eat dinner every Sunday night at his mom's, and she cooks heavy meals. The food is fattening and also doesn't agree with me (i dont feel well after eating heavy food), and it is hard to just take a small portion without someone saying "you aren't dieting again are you??!!" and getting on my back. This is extremely frusterating. His younger sister (a few years younger than me) is trying to lose weight and is only 110 lbs. His mother would rather get on to me about losing weight, than her own daughter who is a size 0. I love his family, but I feel like in order to stick to my regimen for positive change I have to stay away from them. I'm not sure what to do at this point, I don't want to pull myself away from family, I just don't want to eat the fattening foods that they cook.

Thanks,
Jillian
 
hi Jillian! glad you are here. On the family thing and the fatty foods, maybe you could just eat really small portions of it? I understand tho, wanting to just stay away from them at times so you can concentrate on what you need for you!

And on your SO liking you thicker not thinner..sometimes I think its because certain men like a plump woman that other men wouldnt look at...they get intimidated...like with me, my H has always said 'i love you no matter how ya look,' BUT, the bedroom dept just aint happenin as much when Im bigger. It suuure changes when i drop weight tho!:D
 
I know what your saying. I think at the weight I'm at right now, he's still attracted to me, but knows that I'm not comfortable in my own body and won't be flaunting it. I wont be wearing tight jeans (well i take that back, i cant even fit into my jeans), and wont be prancing around in bikinis. While i was a little on the thin side before (had a paris hilton body), i looked great and felt great, full of energy, and could wear anything. Men would notice me all the time, and I know he was insecure. I feel like keeping extra weight on me is his way of keeping the men away.
 
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