New and Looking for Weight Loss Friend

[soulmeetsbody]

Hello, my name is Mike. I am a single guy, 35, who over the last couple of years has allowed my weight to get out of control. I had a career in the military and was in great shape. When I got out in 2017, I left a really structured routine and stopped doing all of the things that kept me in shape. I developed a lot of bad habits with emotional eating and lacking motivation to go out and exercise.

At this point, I’m about 50lbs overweight. I don’t recognize the soft, bloated guy in the mirror anymore. When I put on clothing I stare at myself in horror and ask myself how I could let this happen. I used to be an attractive guy, never had problems with my appearance but look at me now, I think. I did this to myself.

I have decided that enough is enough. I am going to return to my former self. I am going to be that social, adventurous, good looking confident guy again and not let my life be ruined by giving in to urges and impulses with eating and laziness. I am not comfortable sharing all of this with friends or family, I’m generally a private person so I decided to look online for a weight loss friend/partner. My friends and family also love me and tend to be...well TOO kind and accepting. I need some tough love sometimes and I won’t get it from “you’re not that fat” or “you’re still a good looking guy” or “stop, don’t say that” kind of things. I need to hear “no, today isn’t going to be your 4th cheat day in two weeks, look in the mirror - do you REALLY need pizza?”

I am looking for someone in a similar position. A single person who feels their weight is holding them back from finding happiness in a partner and getting in with their life. Someone who is frustrated that they let themselves go but committed to improving. I would like to make a friend who will keep me on track and I keep them on track too. We can text or call and remind one another of the light at the end of the tunnel.

Do you hate summer bc you can’t cover-up as much? Feel uncomfortable in public? Do you rationalize your behavior to yourself and make deals with yourself to justify your bad habits? Well, so do I!We can be 100% direct and honest about how we are feeling and what we are struggling with without having to bare our souls to friends and family.

I hope this idea appeals to someone on this forum! I am looking for someone for friendship/weight loss support ONLY. If you’re of the opposite gender, we can partner on this w/o fear of me hitting on you, asking for inappropriate photos, etc. This isn’t a dating ad.

Thanks for reading and I hope to hear back from someone!

 

[Llama]

Hey Mike and welcome to the forum! We do try to be kind and accepting (and I´m sure you DO still look good) but we´re definitely also all on our way to getting fitter, healthier, and - for most of us - slimmer as well. I´m probably not the buddy you´re looking for (I switched to maintenance a year or two ago and am now dealing with the ups and downs related to that) but I can´t recommend enough starting a diary and getting to know the regulars here. No better accountability than knowing people are expecting your daily update.

 

[soulmeetsbody]

Congrats on making it to the maintenance stage! I hope to be there myself sooner than later. I do plan on starting a diary here and logging food and all of that as well. I just had like...a moment of clarity I guess you could call it, the other day and I can’t live like this anymore. I should’ve done this years ago but I have to look forward and not backwards!

I appreciate the support and feedback!

 

[Llama]

I should’ve done this years ago but I have to look forward and not backwards!

100% true. Today is the only day you can change so you´d better make it count. Do you have a specific diet/exercise plan in mind or are you making it up as you go along for now?

 

[Cate]

Hi, Mike & welcome to the forum

I used to be an attractive guy, never had problems with my appearance but look at me now,

I'm sure that if you were an attractive guy a few years ago, then you still will be. You're the same person, but with some cushioning. It is much harder to look after yourself if you are putting yourself down.

I need some tough love sometimes

You'll find support here, but we are not usually into the tough love thing. I know what you mean though about family & friends. We won't get sick of hearing about your attempts at weight-loss & your successes. We may nag you if you do anything unhealthy though.

I hope this idea appeals to someone on this forum! I am looking for someone for friendship/weight loss support ONLY.

I think you have come to the right place

 

[DGraves]

Hello! I'm new at the forum, too, I found it when I was looking for tips on nutrition on Google. The excess weight prevents me from being healthy, sometimes I feel too tired, I can't sleep normally. I have reduced sugar consumption, but it is difficult for me to restrain myself. If I find a person who shares my thoughts, it would be good.

 

[Llama]

Hello! I'm new at the forum, too, I found it when I was looking for tips on nutrition on Google. The excess weight prevents me from being healthy, sometimes I feel too tired, I can't sleep normally. I have reduced sugar consumption, but it is difficult for me to restrain myself. If I find a person who shares my thoughts, it would be good.

Welcome to the forum! Restraint IS hard sometimes, but over time we can build new habits to take the place of the old ones so we don't feel as deprived. It's not always easy but life is so much better when you can move and breathe freely.

 

[Marsia]

Hi Mike! Welcome to the forum. I have been on here a while but went off on my own prematurely and gained back 30 of the 50 pounds I lost. So I am back and know what I need to do this time to keep the weight off. I need to find exercise that I love to do so I can maintain the weight loss this time and also find ways of dealing with stress that don't involve eating my feelings. I would love to be mutually supportive - I need to lose around 40 pounds and learn to keep it off. I am not single though, and I don't think finding happiness in a partner works so great until you also know how to find that happiness in yourself. I am working on happiness a lot actually though. Anyway, I hope you take Cate and LaMaria up on their support because they are amazing people who help me immensely!!! And I am here for you as well if you like.

 

[Oomperloompa]

Hey all, I'm a noob like you mike and Dgraves. I hear you Dgraves, and such an on-point post mike. So much of what you said resonates with me. I was like , yep, yep, yep....
I made 'the decision' to get serious on Sunday night. Eat right, and up my exercise. I joined the forum on a whim to reach out to people who could help encourage me and hold me accountable for my failings - and vice versa. I'm 40 and ex infantry guy. A reservist (the regulars call us chocolate soldiers in Australia - cos we melt away as soon as it gets hot!). Ever since I got out 15 years ago it's been a pretty steady gain, except for a couple of times I've managed to get my self in shape. I gave up drinking completely 2 months ago. Not because I was drinking loads but because I get the munchies after a few beers. I dont miss it. I'm 2 days into my new routine and all going well. I'm on a 1500k diet. Balanced but higher protein and less carbs. Eggs really agree with me for feeling full and losing weight. Avoiding sugar outright. But not doing keto or anything fad. Been there, done that. For excersize I'm doing the only thing I've ever been good at - ruck marching every night after work for an hour and 15 minutes. Starting with a 30 pound load and will build up from there as the weight comes off. I'm hell out of shape and carrying shitty knee injuries that are my biggest nemesis. And I'm 40kgs over weight. So that's eighty pounds in your money!
Not big into forums or posting so I feel like this is my chance. What do you say we all make our own little team right here on this thread? Do a weekly report of our success and failures. I respond well to negative feedback (army lol) so someone telling me straight that I need to do better is actually gonna help.
Get losing people!

 

[Llama]

Welcome to the forum Oomperloompa! Sounds like you know what you need to do and how to do it, so now all that's left is to keep it up. For me posting when I'm not doing well is key. People may be kind instead of kicking you in the ass but it does end up being motivating.

 

[Marsia]

Hey all, I'm a noob like you mike and Dgraves. I hear you Dgraves, and such an on-point post mike. So much of what you said resonates with me. I was like , yep, yep, yep....
I made 'the decision' to get serious on Sunday night. Eat right, and up my exercise. I joined the forum on a whim to reach out to people who could help encourage me and hold me accountable for my failings - and vice versa. I'm 40 and ex infantry guy. A reservist (the regulars call us chocolate soldiers in Australia - cos we melt away as soon as it gets hot!). Ever since I got out 15 years ago it's been a pretty steady gain, except for a couple of times I've managed to get my self in shape. I gave up drinking completely 2 months ago. Not because I was drinking loads but because I get the munchies after a few beers. I dont miss it. I'm 2 days into my new routine and all going well. I'm on a 1500k diet. Balanced but higher protein and less carbs. Eggs really agree with me for feeling full and losing weight. Avoiding sugar outright. But not doing keto or anything fad. Been there, done that. For excersize I'm doing the only thing I've ever been good at - ruck marching every night after work for an hour and 15 minutes. Starting with a 30 pound load and will build up from there as the weight comes off. I'm hell out of shape and carrying shitty knee injuries that are my biggest nemesis. And I'm 40kgs over weight. So that's eighty pounds in your money!
Not big into forums or posting so I feel like this is my chance. What do you say we all make our own little team right here on this thread? Do a weekly report of our success and failures. I respond well to negative feedback (army lol) so someone telling me straight that I need to do better is actually gonna help.
Get losing people!

Looks like you're off to a great start. I hope you do start a diary here. There is lots of support and great people on the forum!

 

[Lindalva]

Hello Mike

I know what it feels like to fight to lose weight and feel happier again i was in that stage and in need of support too and I managed to find it and helped me lose 30KG and today I feel better and healthier. All it took was one thing to change and I began to implement it and I lost the weight Naturally, along with my normal daily workout.

 

[Oomperloompa]

Hey thanks for the welcome and the encouragement.

For me posting when I'm not doing well is key.

Yes! This! This is me! If I disappear from here then that's because I've climbed back under my big fat rock of shame...with a bag of cookies and a family pack of m&m's... but for now I'm on track, sticking to 1500k and rucking everynight. Up from 3 miles to 5 last night. Starting to feel good already.

Mike, dgraves, hows it going? You guys on track. What are your goals, what are your methods? What's your social security number? Lol just kidding!! Couldnt resist with all the talk of scammers here! But I got your attention!!
Greg

 

[Marsia]

If I disappear from here then that's because I've climbed back under my big fat rock of shame

Please don't disappear if you do slip. We all do, it's part of the process of learning to have a healthy diet as a lifestyle, not just a one time dieting effort to lose weight. I just went off the forum for a long time and gained back 30 of the 50 pounds I had lost. But I am back. because I am going to make this a lifestyle change, not just a one time effort. I hope you join me in doing that.

I thought about this thread yesterday because I am trying to take better care of myself and put my health first, and I realized it's a form of maturity to learn self care instead of hoping someone else will keep me on track. Please don't wait for that kind of person who is there to keep you on track - find what inspires you in exercise, in finding a healthy diet, in life in general. Go live life like your health and happiness depends upon it! I just buried my mom who died of all sorts of horrible diet-related illnesses including dementia where she no longer knew who I was or who she was (they call dementia type 3 diabetes now). I was taking care of her while I was busy being off the forum and gaining weight back. So I am super motivated not to repeat her mistakes. I challenge you to find your real motivations for losing weight and to keep adding successes to them! Ok, I'll get off your thread now!

 

[Llama]

If I disappear from here then that's because I've climbed back under my big fat rock of shame...with a bag of cookies and a family pack of m&m's...

Can I join you??? Jk but it would be sooo nice to... not give up but just have a couple of days without any kind of restriction. Sadly (thankfully?) I know full well how many calories I can eat in 3 days - as well as how long it takes to burn them off again.

 

[Oomperloompa]

But I am back. because I am going to make this a lifestyle change, not just a one time effort. I hope you join me in doing that.

Hey Marsia, glad you made it back to the forum, and thanks for reaching out. Really sorry to hear about your mum. That's rough. It was my dad last year to cancer. He was my hero. Vietnam vet, tough as an ox, gone in three months. Still can't believe it.
Thanks for the good advice. And well done for losing that 50 pounds in the first place. You know you can do it!!
For me this is all about a lifestyle choice too. I'm doing this for myself, for my health, and for my family. I know it all ultimately comes down to me. And I know what I need to do. I'm not waiting for anybody to come along and do anything for me. I need to do it myself. But coming here and saying these things somehow makes it more real, makes me more accountable. Like I've announced it to the world, so I need to go ahead and bloodywell do it!!

 

[Oomperloompa]

Can I join you???.

Lol! Yeah....but you better bring your own cookies....ain't nobody getting between me and my fix...you feel me?!

 

[Llama]

Lol! Yeah....but you better bring your own cookies....ain't nobody getting between me and my fix...you feel me?!

Too well
Thankfully I switched to fruit 5 weeks ago and so far that hasn't led me to binge so your cookies may stay safe...

But coming here and saying these things somehow makes it more real, makes me more accountable. Like I've announced it to the world, so I need to go ahead and bloodywell do it!!

Yup, just keep coming back so it stays real. Don't allow yourself to "forget" about your goals.

 

[Marsia]

Hey Marsia, glad you made it back to the forum, and thanks for reaching out. Really sorry to hear about your mum. That's rough. It was my dad last year to cancer. He was my hero. Vietnam vet, tough as an ox, gone in three months. Still can't believe it.
Thanks for the good advice. And well done for losing that 50 pounds in the first place. You know you can do it!!
For me this is all about a lifestyle choice too. I'm doing this for myself, for my health, and for my family. I know it all ultimately comes down to me. And I know what I need to do. I'm not waiting for anybody to come along and do anything for me. I need to do it myself. But coming here and saying these things somehow makes it more real, makes me more accountable. Like I've announced it to the world, so I need to go ahead and bloodywell do it!!

Wow, sorry about your dad, too. That must have been so hard losing him so quickly to something so awful. My mom actually died of pancreatic cancer and it was about 4 months from diagnosis to the end, but she had bad dementia and diabetes, too, so I had time to prepare. It's very hard losing her, but also a blessing in some ways because the dementia was getting so bad her quality of life was not good at all.

I am happy that you are really proactive and so into losing the weight for yourself and your family, too. That's just how I feel - I want us to have great quality of life and enjoy life as long as possible. With the emphasis on health instead of just on weight loss, I don't feel discouraged that I have to lose the same weight over again, I just feel like I learned from my experience and this time I will be sure to learn the self care part. It's so weird that we aren't taught that growing up. Mostly the grown ups I knew growing up were proud and puritanical and nose to the grindstone or happy more heathen-istic people who threw caution to the wind (and sometimes both in the same person). So now I am working on enjoying taking care of myself - doing things that I enjoy and can keep up the rest of my life as far as diet and exercise. It's been good to experiment and keep things interesting. And I agree about the forum keeping me on track. It helps a lot being amongst other people who are serious about this and are succeeding, even when it's not always roses all the time. Anyway, thanks for the nice reply!

 

[tj4u]

Hi everyone, am new in the house looking for ways to manage my weight.